please recommend a self help book, therapy, drug...

[perth]

Originally Posted by staceyv

So, justme, I'd like you to know that my husband and I are doing really well. He's a good guy who sometimes lacks common sense, but he does learn when he makes mistakes and we haven't had any problems since last year. We're happy together

That's really good to hear. Congratulations to both of you for working it all out.

I don't think it's accurate to say a person "likes" to be depressed. But looking back, I can see how I was somehow "addicted" to it. I don't think I could explain why, but for a long time I felt as though I wasn't myself if I wasn't depressed about something. It sucks, I know (at least to a point) how you feel, and I really hope you do figure out what you need to get through it.

[dar512]

Originally Posted by perth

...I felt as though I wasn't myself if I wasn't depressed about something....

Years ago I read an article about that phenomenon somewhere. Your body/mind starts to recognize anything long-term as 'normal' and it works at keeping things 'normal'. So if you've been depressed for a long time, that becomes 'normal' for you and the body works to keep things that way.