Parents of Aspeger's (AKA Aspies) Children

[Messageboardjunkie]

Hey, anyone out there have a child dx'd with Aspergers Disorder? I already know what it is because my son was suspected 2 years ago and I have done extensive research on it....... But I'd like to meet others in a general type forum- (I like to discuss other things too) who are dealing with this also.

[wolf]

I have worked with some Asperger's Clients, and also know of the best-known Asperger's "success" story ... Temple Grandin.

[Messageboardjunkie]

Wolf-
Yes, Temple Grandin is an amazing individual. I am glad you know her story. It's comforting to me that in spite of this disability, many have overcome it to a point of being able to live happy and productive lives. My son is only 5 and I'm having trouble with the school district wanting to change or should I say drop his AU dx because they are so impressed with his amazing intelligence (they suspect he's highly gifted-I do too) and see him as only "odd or eccentric". I honestly think thats a mistake and wanted to find a place to discuss it with others who might be able to be more objective or knowledgable.

[wolf]

I think the youngest person with Asperger's I have interacted with was in her mid-teens, and I only saw her because of frequent violent behavioral outbursts.

I'm probably not your best resource for encouragement.

[richlevy]

My son is autistic. I have a half-neice diagnosed with Aspergers.

[wolf]

Originally Posted by wolf

I'm probably not your best resource for encouragement.

Richlevy, however, is. I have had the pleasure of meeting his now-adult son. I have spoken elsewhere on The Cellar of my respect for Rich and the time, patience, and excellent parenting that he has exhibited in raising his son. Although young Mr. Levy is clearly a person with special needs, he is able to communicate and interact socially with a far greater degree of skill and ease than many of his peers. It can be said often enough ... a hearty well done to you, Rich, and to all of your family, since each of you have contributed to his success.

[richlevy]

Originally Posted by wolf

Richlevy, however, is. I have had the pleasure of meeting his now-adult son. I have spoken elsewhere on The Cellar of my respect for Rich and the time, patience, and excellent parenting that he has exhibited in raising his son. Although young Mr. Levy is clearly a person with special needs, he is able to communicate and interact socially with a far greater degree of skill and ease than many of his peers. It can be said often enough ... a hearty well done to you, Rich, and to all of your family, since each of you have contributed to his success.

Thanks Wolf, but my wife Marci deserves almost all of the credit. She's had to be a stay at home mom, and she attends %75 of the IEP conferences at school. I get involved when she hits a roadblock and it becomes necessary to add the voices of both parents.
Having good teachers and 'wrap-around' services as early as possible is the key. My half-niece, actually my great-half-niece, was diagnosed recently. Her parents talked to my wife and got advice about IEP's and resources. They decided to mainstream her, and it appears to be working pretty well.

Autism and Aspergers are really a scale. If you look at the symptoms for Aspergers, social clumsiness, attention or obsession with hobbies or other interests, you realize that a case of mild Aspergers is pretty much what we would associate with 'nerd'. In fact there is speculation that some very smart people had some degree of Apsergers.

The reasons they refer to Autism disorders as a spectrum is that saying where Autism and Aspergers start is like looking at the color spectrum and saying 'red ends here and orange begins here'. You could look at the middle of the red band and everyone would agree that the color is red, but get towards the edges and no two people would draw the line in the same place.

My son Jeffrey is obviously Autistic. His voice and mannerisms are distinct so that anyone who has seen 'Rain Man' could probably figure it out in a very short time.

Asperger's is different in that high-functioning Aspergers, before there was a label, was simply 'eccentric'. There is a debate now as to whether Albert Einstein and Isaac Newtwon has Aspergers. There is also speculation about Bill Gates. Since high-functioning people with Aspergers are compulsive about their interests, it is possible for someone with high intelligence and Aspergers to be successful, since in many fields social skills are not necessary.

We live in a society where individuals are rewarded for their contributions. A person who thought he was a chicken would end up sleeping over at Wolf's workplace. A person who thought he was a chicken and could actually lay golden eggs would end up sleeping in the Licoln bedroom in the White House.

I don't know how old your son is, but if he is high-functioning I would see what his interests are. If he's interested in math or the sciences, then later in life he might end up in a work community that doesn't care about social interaction.

[Griff]

I'm working with kids on the spectrum, but have only been at it since September so I'm not gonna claim any expertise. We're using applied behavioral analysis to help them control the behaviors that are roadblocks to learning. I've been impressed with the results but it can be pretty intense. richlevy is pretty much the guy here with the wisdom on this stuff, unless someone else decloaks who has just been a lurker up to now.

[jaguar]

Richlevy is dead on, people that are at the top of their fields operate on a slightly different plane where the line between odd and things like aspegers start is a funny one indeed, hell one psych thought I might be for a bit (and dyslexic, that's another fuzzy-as-hell one). I know a number of guys who word in tech R&D, some of which have been diagnosed with aspergers, some not. They're all rather odd fellows, living rooms littered with circuitry, thousands of massive dry textbooks, they work strange hours and for insane stretches but in the end, they're happy, productive people who are responsibly for many of the breakthoughs that keep our world hurtling forward, just a bit different. In terms of school, I don't know if it exists anywhere in the start but any kind of selective-entry academy you can find might be the most productive environment, brilliant kids with poor social skills are rarely going to fit in well with the chaff.

Richlevy clearly knows the ins and outs of raising a kid with those kind of symptoms, I wish you the best of luck and hope that your child reaches his full potential.

[Messageboardjunkie]

Speaking of "Rain Man" that's what I reference when trying to explain to others what
Asperger's looks and sounds like. While the character "Raymond" had it (IMO) on a scale of about a 9, my son is more near a 3.

It's hard for others to see it in my son unless they spend about a week with him. Its not "normal" for a child of 4 to have a complete emotional breakdown because he's been asked to cross the street in a different place than where he always does.

He didnt like making a transition to a Prek K class a couple of days a week- he resisted, resorting to writing a note to his teacher, "Pre K is not on my list of things to do today at school" (he was 4) He wrote it by himself. His teacher got a big chuckle out of that one, but he still had to go. It took us a couple of months to get him used to it. He had to be escorted and the aid had to stay in the room so he wouldn't completly meltdown. One of his primary complaints were, "There's too many kids in the class". (there were 23 including him)

Now that he's been mainstreamed into regular K classes- he's used to the class size of 22 now. But it took us months to get him to adapt to it. We also had to place him on the end of a table; so he feels less crowded without somone right next to him on both sides. Little things like this work wonders for him.

If they drop his AU lable, I wont be able to force the teachers to make small adaptations (in his EIP) for him that really help him a lot and keep him from melting down and being percieved as a behavior problem. IMO his high intelligence, amazing memory and early intervention and follow through has made it easier for Matthew to mask a lot of the Aspergers behaviors. I have watched him close his eyes, rapidly moving them back and forth and shaking his head (as if he were rewinding a videoptape in his mind) to look for similar situations to get a clue as to how he is "supposed to act" or what he is "supposed to say". I even asked him once if he was "rewiding his mind's video" and he told me, "Yes". He basically figures out what we want and he cooperates to the best of his ability.

Btw, I have heard about suspicion about Bill Gates being an Aspie. But I read a direct quote printed about a year ago where he addressed that. *Paraphrased, he said, He didn't have Aspergers disorder but if it makes parents of autistic children hopeful for their childrens' future he didnt mind people voicing suspicions about him.

I'll do do some research (when I have time this week) to see if I can find the exact quote and source.

Does anyone know how to use the spell check in this forum? I am a horrible speller and my grammar is just as bad. Sorry 'bout that. Looks like my son siphoned most of my brain cells while in utero. LOL

[wolf]

If you at least make an adequate go of the grammar and spelling thing, people won't bust your shoes too badly.

Unless you are zippyt.

Or a total lost cause like that mistic rythm idiot.

[Messageboardjunkie]

Wolf-

Cool, but if my mistakes are terribly annoying to anyone, they can always put my name on their ignore/block list. Because odds are, I'm going to make many more.

[wolf]

Yes, but it is a prouder moment to make an ignore list for content, rather than outright obvious stupidity.

Some of us wear our ignore list entries with pride.

[Messageboardjunkie]

Originally Posted by jaguar

Richlevy clearly knows the ins and outs of raising a kid with those kind of symptoms, I wish you the best of luck and hope that your child reaches his full potential.

Thanks Jaguar and thanks to everyone who has replied.

*Still trying to manuver around this forum; figuring out the tools and how to use them. I hope I quoted the part of the post I want. <deep sigh>

[richlevy]

Originally Posted by wolf

Yes, but it is a prouder moment to make an ignore list for content, rather than outright obvious stupidity.

Some of us wear our ignore list entries with pride.

I sometimes forget to use the preview option and go back to correct a typo, a usage issue, or something in between (Did my brain or fingers cause me to type "to" instead of "two").

Of course I find myself drilling into that kind of detail and making corrections, am I merely being a good writer or am I giving in to some facet of Aspergers. I've never been diagnosed, and if I did have it I would be a '1' on the kind of scale Messageboardjunkie describes, but I always wonder if it's there.

In general, unless the grammer, punctation, and spelling are so tortured that I get a headache trying to follow it, I'll generally ignore the flaws to read a message.

I personally would love to have something like autocorrect to check spelling and grammar in my posts. I could always type them in Word and cut-and-paste them in here.

Anyway, while I was on the subject of hidden disabilities, I would like to say that it would be interesting if there ever was a completely thorough assessment of the population so that we could finally understand how many people have some kind of disorder, from color-blindness, to dyslexia, ADD, ADHD, Autism, Aspergers, Bi-Polar, etc. The ranks of the functioning flawed probably vastly outnumber the 'perfect' specimens.