Humor in the campaigns - Page 10

xoxoxoBruce · 10-27-2004, 05:14 PM

And if Bush ran against Jesus........

Happy Monkey · 10-27-2004, 05:53 PM

Not fake.

richlevy · 10-27-2004, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

And if Bush ran against Jesus........

You know, I was thinking along those same lines. However, it was more along the lines of the Bush campaign disputing all but one of Jesus' stigmata.

xoxoxoBruce · 10-28-2004, 07:23 PM

Coming home from work, Rte 352, Edgemont ave. in Brookhaven, PA, for those that know the area.
Two guys walking up & down the sidewalk carrying homemade signs.
Tall guy in a Kerry mask and work clothes, with a sign that says, "My tax bracket is 15%" and "I'm United Nations compliant".
Shorter guy wearing camo, and his sign says, "I have a plan" & "Will marry for money".
Two police cars positioned descreetly close by, watching.

Undertoad · 10-29-2004, 02:12 PM

Happy Monkey · 10-30-2004, 10:08 AM

Nader finally managed to get in on a debate!

Yes, that is on the official Nader site.

wolf · 10-30-2004, 01:48 PM

Happy Monkey · 10-30-2004, 10:09 PM

Just got back from "The Capitol Steps". Funny show. The bits that stuck with me the most - from "Lirty Dies": "Rill O'Bilely has a fable show on Cox.." "Startha Mewart, the kitch of the bitchen..."

Undertoad · 11-03-2004, 07:11 AM

Righty humorist Scott Ott of Scrappleface has been on fire this election season, with Onion-quality headlines such as

"Kerry: Bush Outsourced Bin Laden Video Production"
"Pa. Governor Puts Slot Machines in Voting Booths"
"Saddam Worried Explosive Cache Now in 'Wrong Hands'"

and then yesterday

"Kerry Votes for Bush, Before Voting Against Him"

and then today

"Bush Declares End of Major Campaign Operations"

Griff · 11-05-2004, 06:48 PM

A vocal local Democrat has a cluster of Bush signs at the end of his driveway, apparently he lost a bet with his neighbor. The wounds will heal if you don't pick at them.

jinx · 11-12-2004, 05:58 PM

http://fuckthesouth.com/

404Error · 11-13-2004, 09:06 AM

Don't cry, there's always 2008. :p

xoxoxoBruce · 11-13-2004, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jinx

http://fuckthesouth.com/

Great link, thanks.

cowhead · 11-14-2004, 08:52 AM

damn you Jinx! you beat me to it! here's the cut and paste for those of us too lazy to follow links.

Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.

But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off.

and uh, can I get an amen?

elSicomoro · 11-14-2004, 09:44 AM

Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

I agree with you for the most part, though.

10-27-2004, 05:14 PM	#136
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	And if Bush ran against Jesus........ __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. Last edited by xoxoxoBruce; 04-07-2007 at 05:59 PM.

10-27-2004, 05:53 PM	#137
Happy Monkey I think this line's mostly filler. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: DC Posts: 13,575	Not fake. Attached Images __________________ _________________ \|...............\| We live in the nick of times. \| Len 17, Wid 3 \| \|_______________\| [pics]

10-28-2004, 07:23 PM	#139
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Coming home from work, Rte 352, Edgemont ave. in Brookhaven, PA, for those that know the area. Two guys walking up & down the sidewalk carrying homemade signs. Tall guy in a Kerry mask and work clothes, with a sign that says, "My tax bracket is 15%" and "I'm United Nations compliant". Shorter guy wearing camo, and his sign says, "I have a plan" & "Will marry for money". Two police cars positioned descreetly close by, watching. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

10-30-2004, 10:08 AM	#141
Happy Monkey I think this line's mostly filler. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: DC Posts: 13,575	Nader finally managed to get in on a debate! Yes, that is on the official Nader site. __________________ _________________ \|...............\| We live in the nick of times. \| Len 17, Wid 3 \| \|_______________\| [pics]

10-30-2004, 01:48 PM	#142
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Attached Images __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

10-29-2004, 02:12 PM	#140
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423

10-30-2004, 10:09 PM	#143
Happy Monkey I think this line's mostly filler. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: DC Posts: 13,575	Just got back from "The Capitol Steps". Funny show. The bits that stuck with me the most - from "Lirty Dies": "Rill O'Bilely has a fable show on Cox.." "Startha Mewart, the kitch of the bitchen..." __________________ _________________ \|...............\| We live in the nick of times. \| Len 17, Wid 3 \| \|_______________\| [pics]

11-03-2004, 07:11 AM	#144
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Righty humorist Scott Ott of Scrappleface has been on fire this election season, with Onion-quality headlines such as "Kerry: Bush Outsourced Bin Laden Video Production" "Pa. Governor Puts Slot Machines in Voting Booths" "Saddam Worried Explosive Cache Now in 'Wrong Hands'" and then yesterday "Kerry Votes for Bush, Before Voting Against Him" and then today "Bush Declares End of Major Campaign Operations"

11-05-2004, 06:48 PM	#145
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	A vocal local Democrat has a cluster of Bush signs at the end of his driveway, apparently he lost a bet with his neighbor. The wounds will heal if you don't pick at them. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

11-12-2004, 05:58 PM	#146
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 7,013	http://fuckthesouth.com/ __________________ Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good.

11-13-2004, 09:06 AM	#147
404Error Lecturer Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: CT USA Posts: 826	Don't cry, there's always 2008. :p Attached Images __________________ "To disarm the people is the most effectual way to enslave them." ~George Mason~

11-14-2004, 08:52 AM	#149
cowhead halve your cake and eat it too. Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Georgia.. by way of Lawrence Kansas Posts: 1,359	damn you Jinx! you beat me to it! here's the cut and paste for those of us too lazy to follow links. Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep. And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really? Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard? No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off. Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch. All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice. The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes. Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part. But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes. Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass. And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off. and uh, can I get an amen? __________________ no my child.. this is not my desire..I'm digging for fire.

11-14-2004, 09:44 AM	#150
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I agree with you for the most part, though.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)