Humor...I Need Humor...

Tomas Rueda · 09-17-2004, 01:26 PM

You know; I've never seen a person so depressed since the elephant sat on the farmer's wife.
(punchline drumroll)

Depressesd?

oh, well, that was not a very good one. how about this one:

Y'all know what is a Volskvagen? (pauses for answer) Ok, How many elephants can you fit into one? Five, 2 in the front, 3 in the back... but wait that is not the joke. Why the giraffes did not went to the movies. (scroll down for answer.
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. Because the elephants took the Volkswagen.

lookout123 · 09-17-2004, 01:35 PM

maybe the humor was lost in translation.

zippyt · 09-19-2004, 01:05 AM

"Hello, is this the FBI?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm callin' about my neighbor, Billy Bob Pavon. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.

They sneer at Billy Bob and leave.

The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.

"Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Happy Birthday, buddy!"

404Error · 09-29-2004, 12:52 PM

Bill, Hillary and Kerry are flying on Kerry's wife's private jet.

Bill looks at Hillary, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make somebody very happy."

Hillary shrugs her shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."

Kerry says, "Of course then, I could throw one-hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."

The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of them and says to his co-pilot, "Such Bigshots back there... I could throw all of them out the window and make millions happy."

Bullitt · 09-29-2004, 06:30 PM

I can't believe no one has put this one yet!
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from KFC!

Ooh here's a painful one.

A little boy is driving throught he country with his dad and he sees a single cow out in the pasture. He asks his dad why that cow is all alone. His father replies, "Why thats because he outstanding in his field!"

(Little kid was me way back when and dad was you guessed it, my dad who is the God of all puns. It kills me.

09-17-2004, 01:26 PM	#1
Tomas Rueda Master of the Domain Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Beaumont Tx 77701 Posts: 229	You know; I've never seen a person so depressed since the elephant sat on the farmer's wife. (punchline drumroll) Depressesd? oh, well, that was not a very good one. how about this one: Y'all know what is a Volskvagen? (pauses for answer) Ok, How many elephants can you fit into one? Five, 2 in the front, 3 in the back... but wait that is not the joke. Why the giraffes did not went to the movies. (scroll down for answer. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Because the elephants took the Volkswagen. __________________ Tom@s _____Rueda

09-17-2004, 01:35 PM	#2
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	maybe the humor was lost in translation. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

09-19-2004, 01:05 AM	#3
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	"Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I'm callin' about my neighbor, Billy Bob Pavon. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Billy Bob and leave. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. "Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Happy Birthday, buddy!" __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

09-29-2004, 12:52 PM	#4
404Error Lecturer Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: CT USA Posts: 826	Another politicians on airplanes joke Bill, Hillary and Kerry are flying on Kerry's wife's private jet. Bill looks at Hillary, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make somebody very happy." Hillary shrugs her shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy." Kerry says, "Of course then, I could throw one-hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy." The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of them and says to his co-pilot, "Such Bigshots back there... I could throw all of them out the window and make millions happy." __________________ "To disarm the people is the most effectual way to enslave them." ~George Mason~

09-29-2004, 06:30 PM	#5
Bullitt This is a fully functional babe lair Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Akron, OH Posts: 2,324	I can't believe no one has put this one yet! Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from KFC! Ooh here's a painful one. A little boy is driving throught he country with his dad and he sees a single cow out in the pasture. He asks his dad why that cow is all alone. His father replies, "Why thats because he outstanding in his field!" (Little kid was me way back when and dad was you guessed it, my dad who is the God of all puns. It kills me. __________________ Kiss my white Irish ass.

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