Soldiers dealing with the trauma of killing

[CzinZumerzet]

In addressing the title of this thread I think that observing the after effects of WW2 active service on my father, who later went to the Korean war, and later my two brothers one of whom was grievously injured in N.Ireland and the second in a submarine 'accident', have understandably played a very large part in the development of my pacifist beliefs. All three were damaged physically and psychologically, and neither would have sought or accepted help with the latter even were it offered. Their physical injuries were public knowledge but anything else remains to this day a well concealed family only concern, never brought into life outside home. Terrors, nightmares, rages, for years and years and years. The one and only time I ever heard my father talk with any honesty about his experiences was just after the first showing of Band of Brothers on British TV. He believed profoundly that there was nothing noble about his sacrifice or that of others. The men he killed and maimed were essentially no different to him. There is no doubt the experience haunted his life, which ended recently.

I sometimes enjoy a fantasy which involves world 'leaders' being locked into arenas of combat without their supporting cast of cannon fodder, media advisors or weaponry of any kind. In other words, no money changes hands. I am not sure of the ending though, or rather how to judge the victor, since sheer physical might is not necessarily always on the side of the right.... any thoughts?