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[jeni]

speaking in terms of who deserves what, i cannot say that i think a girl who dresses like a "slut" should not be surprised when she gets raped.

i knew a guy named jesse. this guy named jesse had an ex-girlfriend named sarah. sarah was not hard to get into bed, so to speak. sarah had a friend named matt who was in jail for raping someone. matt got out of jail and wanted to visit sarah. sarah, having been good friends with the guy, said "alrighty, come on over!" and when matt got there, he raped her.

now. jesse always told me that this was her own fault for being "such a fucking slut", and this statement always pissed me off beyond almost anything else that ever pissed me off because in my opinion no one deserves to be raped. doesn't matter how much of a slut you are, it doesn't matter if you dress like a cheap whore, it doesn't matter if you walk naked through a horrible city. it doesn't matter if a guy you know is a rapist and you agree to have lunch with him anyway. you do not ask to be raped, and no one has the right to rape you, no matter what.

i'm pretty sure dave was saying that you would definitely think differently about the situation IF (it's a hypothetical situation, take it as one) your daughter was raped.

IF your daughter was walking through a bad part of baltimore wearing skimpy clothing, and she got raped, it is doubtful that you would take her aside in the midst of her crying and tell her that she shouldn't have been wearing skimpy clothing in that part of the city. you'd probably try to console her. if it even crossed your mind that she was an idiot, or that she got what she deserved for dressing how she did, i think you'd be a pretty odd person.

it is very easy to say that someone you don't know deserves something, because you are not emotionally attached to that person. maybe you can look at it more "rationally" than their family because you don't know that person. and you haven't been in their situation. so it's not a close issue to you. maybe someday, though, it will happen to you, and you will understand the other side of the argument.