We need to talk.

BigV · 12-29-2019, 08:40 PM

We need to talk about your your headlights.

Those bright, super bright, area effect highway weapons--completely unnecessary. You know the ones with the their eleventy-thousand kelvin color temperature, blazing, no, "bathing" everything in their soft x-ray glow, until you hit the gamma-ray high beams. You think they let you see better, but that's only because they've vaporized everything in the beam pattern up to half a mile. They render everything in the mid distance transparent so you can see the trees on the peaks of the mountains in the distance glare garishly neon orange and ultraviolent. You literally can't see over the horizon. Why do you have lights that can be seen from space?

If I'm casting a shadow, a shadow of my own car, in my own headlights, we have a problem. I have a problem. You're the problem. You're a hazard to navigation. You think they make you safer, but are you really safer driving on the road when all the other drivers are blind?

I'm not talking about your bar lamps, your side lights, your Michigan markers, your fog lights, your driving lights, your fuck me? no, fuck you lights, not to mention the Project SETI uplink carrier beam monsters on the roof rack, I don't care if Luxor Hotel was having a sale--it's just too much.

If they were just sanitizing the pavement, even as high as the beltline of my car, it would be ok. But they shine up into my eyes, into my mirrors--Problem. Maybe you're towing your trailer and it tips the back down and the front up. Maybe you just like driving around with your brights on. Maybe you're driving one of those giant trucks to compensate for... well, we all know you have a two-inch penis. Why shine a light on it?

Everything is so bright around you. Is it the lights or that you're just so dim. Kill the lights before you kill someone else.

sexobon · 12-29-2019, 08:51 PM

I wear my sunglasses at night
I wear my sunglasses at night
I say it to you now
I wear my sunglasses at night
I wear my sunglasses at night
I wear my sunglasses at night
I cry to you
I wear my sunglasses at night
I wear my sunglasses at night

BigV · 12-29-2019, 08:54 PM

Lose the lights *and* the sunglasses and all will be well.

monster · 12-29-2019, 09:18 PM

What are Michigan markers?

Gravdigr · 12-29-2019, 09:59 PM

The newer GMC and Chevy trucks are by far the worst offenders. I stopped in the road for a too-bright-lights asshole who turned out to be a deputy in a pick-up, who hit the blues walked up and asked me what the problem was. I told him there was an asshole behind me with lights that were waaaay too goddamned bright. He walked back to his truck and drove around me. Won't stand for them (those super-bright-even-on-dim-lights) behind me or in front of me, I'll stop in the road and let them go by. I will sue the life out of the fellow that causes me to run off the road with his bright as fuck lights, cause I'm not going off my side of the road...I just need to figure how to hit a 7,500 plus pound truck and live through it.

Cocksucking bastards, every one of 'em.

monster · 12-29-2019, 10:04 PM

Grav, don't be shy, tell us how you really feel....

Gravdigr · 12-29-2019, 10:11 PM

BigV · 12-29-2019, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

What are Michigan markers?

I learned that term for these lights:

xoxoxoBruce · 12-29-2019, 10:56 PM

Jacked up trucks are all offenders. They weren't designed to have the lights that high and there's a good chance they can't be adjusted so the driver can see and not blind you.

Griff · 12-30-2019, 07:47 AM

The fuckers always seem to add a light bar as well.

I hit the high beams on them so both of us will be blind.

glatt · 12-30-2019, 08:19 AM

I think that since virtually all new cars today have the automatic headlights, people just ignore the controls. They turn their high beams on one day and don’t realize they have left them on.

Similarly, I see a larger number of cars driving around with lights off than I used to. I assume they are second cars, and the driver is used to the lights turning themselves on, and they don’t notice they are driving the old car. It’s probably only a city thing though.

Basically, people are not paying attention, plus some people are installing extra lights because they are maroons.

Luce · 12-30-2019, 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Jacked up trucks are all offenders.

People who drive lifted trucks often have other bad habits.

lumberjim · 12-30-2019, 12:04 PM

My jeep is lifted. I adjusted my lights a bit. It's only a 2½" lift, but if I accelerate behind you, they do shine up into the rearview mirror.

I also have other bad habits

Luce · 12-30-2019, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

My jeep is lifted. I adjusted my lights a bit. It's only a 2½" lift, but if I accelerate behind you, they do shine up into the rearview mirror.

I also have other bad habits

Jeeps are not the same thing. I had one, only it wasn't lifted. It got smashed in a horrible car accident. If it was lifted, the lady that rear-ended me would have just slid right under like a door stop. Rough on her, granted, but I wouldn't have had a bent frame.

No, I am specifically talking about pick up trucks. The only purpose for having it lifted is the same as having a "dually". To block people behind you from seeing upcoming hazards.

xoxoxoBruce · 12-30-2019, 01:11 PM

Now now duallys a great help and safer when you're towing a 20,000 lb gooseneck. Doesn't everyone have one of those?

12-29-2019, 08:40 PM	#1
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	We need to talk. We need to talk about your your headlights. Those bright, super bright, area effect highway weapons--completely unnecessary. You know the ones with the their eleventy-thousand kelvin color temperature, blazing, no, "bathing" everything in their soft x-ray glow, until you hit the gamma-ray high beams. You think they let you see better, but that's only because they've vaporized everything in the beam pattern up to half a mile. They render everything in the mid distance transparent so you can see the trees on the peaks of the mountains in the distance glare garishly neon orange and ultraviolent. You literally can't see over the horizon. Why do you have lights that can be seen from space? If I'm casting a shadow, a shadow of my own car, in my own headlights, we have a problem. I have a problem. You're the problem. You're a hazard to navigation. You think they make you safer, but are you really safer driving on the road when all the other drivers are blind? I'm not talking about your bar lamps, your side lights, your Michigan markers, your fog lights, your driving lights, your fuck me? no, fuck you lights, not to mention the Project SETI uplink carrier beam monsters on the roof rack, I don't care if Luxor Hotel was having a sale--it's just too much. If they were just sanitizing the pavement, even as high as the beltline of my car, it would be ok. But they shine up into my eyes, into my mirrors--Problem. Maybe you're towing your trailer and it tips the back down and the front up. Maybe you just like driving around with your brights on. Maybe you're driving one of those giant trucks to compensate for... well, we all know you have a two-inch penis. Why shine a light on it? Everything is so bright around you. Is it the lights or that you're just so dim. Kill the lights before you kill someone else. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

12-29-2019, 08:54 PM	#3
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Lose the lights and the sunglasses and all will be well. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

12-29-2019, 09:18 PM	#4
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	What are Michigan markers? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

12-29-2019, 09:59 PM	#5
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	The newer GMC and Chevy trucks are by far the worst offenders. I stopped in the road for a too-bright-lights asshole who turned out to be a deputy in a pick-up, who hit the blues walked up and asked me what the problem was. I told him there was an asshole behind me with lights that were waaaay too goddamned bright. He walked back to his truck and drove around me. Won't stand for them (those super-bright-even-on-dim-lights) behind me or in front of me, I'll stop in the road and let them go by. I will sue the life out of the fellow that causes me to run off the road with his bright as fuck lights, cause I'm not going off my side of the road...I just need to figure how to hit a 7,500 plus pound truck and live through it. Cocksucking bastards, every one of 'em. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

12-29-2019, 10:04 PM	#6
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Grav, don't be shy, tell us how you really feel.... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

12-29-2019, 08:51 PM	#2
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	I wear my sunglasses at night I wear my sunglasses at night I say it to you now I wear my sunglasses at night I wear my sunglasses at night I wear my sunglasses at night I cry to you I wear my sunglasses at night I wear my sunglasses at night

12-29-2019, 10:11 PM	#7
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

12-29-2019, 10:56 PM	#9
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Jacked up trucks are all offenders. They weren't designed to have the lights that high and there's a good chance they can't be adjusted so the driver can see and not blind you. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

12-30-2019, 07:47 AM	#10
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	The fuckers always seem to add a light bar as well. I hit the high beams on them so both of us will be blind. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

12-30-2019, 08:19 AM	#11
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I think that since virtually all new cars today have the automatic headlights, people just ignore the controls. They turn their high beams on one day and don’t realize they have left them on. Similarly, I see a larger number of cars driving around with lights off than I used to. I assume they are second cars, and the driver is used to the lights turning themselves on, and they don’t notice they are driving the old car. It’s probably only a city thing though. Basically, people are not paying attention, plus some people are installing extra lights because they are maroons.

12-30-2019, 12:04 PM	#13
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	My jeep is lifted. I adjusted my lights a bit. It's only a 2½" lift, but if I accelerate behind you, they do shine up into the rearview mirror. I also have other bad habits __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

12-30-2019, 01:11 PM	#15
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Now now duallys a great help and safer when you're towing a 20,000 lb gooseneck. Doesn't everyone have one of those? __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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