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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up |
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#1 |
Marching In!
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 580
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Don't Mess With Mom
> My son came home from school one day,
> with a smirk upon his face. > He decided he was smart enough, > to put me in my place. > > "Guess what I learned in Civics Two, > that's taught by Mr. Wright? > It's all about the laws today, > The 'Children's Bill of Rights.' > > It says I need not clean my room, > don't have to cut my hair > No one can tell me what to think, > or speak, or what to wear. > > I have freedom from religion, > and regardless what you say, > I don't have to bow my head, > and I sure don't have to pray. > > I can wear earrings if I want, > and pierce my tongue & nose. > I can read & watch just what I like, > get tattoos from head to toe. > > And if you ever spank me, > I'll charge you with a crime. > I'll back up all my charges, > with the marks on my behind. > > Don't you ever touch me, > my body's only for my use, > not for your hugs > and kisses, > that's just more child abuse. > > Don't preach about your morals, > like your Mama did to you. > That's nothing more than mind control, And it's illegal too! > > Mom, I have these children's rights, > so you can't influence me, > or I'll call Children's Services Division, better known as C.S.D." > > Mom's Reply and Thoughts > > Of course my first instinct was > to toss him out the door. > But the chance to teach him a lesson > made me think a little more. > > I mulled it over carefully, > I couldn't let this go. > A smile crept upon my face, > he's messing with a pro. > > Next day I took him shopping > at the local Goodwill Store.. > I told him, "Pick out all you want, > there's shirts & pants galore. > > I've called and checked with C.S.D. > who said they didn't care > if I bought you K-Mart shoes > instead of those Nike Airs. > > I've canceled that appointment > to take your driver's test. > The C.S.D. > is unconcerned > so I'll decide what's best." > > I said "No time to stop and eat, > or pick up stuff to munch. > And tomorrow you can start to learn > to make your own sack lunch. > > Just save the raging appetite, > and wait till dinner time. > We're having liver and onions, > a favorite dish of mine." > > He asked "Can I please rent a movie, > to watch on my VCR?" > "Sorry, but I sold your TV, > for new tires on my car. > > I also rented out your room, > you'll take the couch instead. > The C.S.D. requires > just a roof over your head. > > Your clothing won't be trendy now, > I'll choose what we eat. > That allowance that you used to get, > will buy me something neat. > > I'm selling off your jet ski, > dirt-bike & roller blades. > Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights', It's in effect today! > > Hey hot shot, are you crying, > Why are you on your knees? > Are you asking God to help you out, > instead of > C.S.D..?"
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"Smile before bed.You'll sleep better." |
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#2 |
An Awesome Dude
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 1,111
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Hehe I wonder what the kids reaction was to the mother??
I bet he changed his tune straight away!! |
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#3 |
Goon Squad Leader
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
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You're pretty weird, Dude.
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Be Just and Fear Not. |
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#4 |
I love it when a plan comes together.
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
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Better to be pretty weird than ugly weird.
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#6 |
An Awesome Dude
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 1,111
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Yea he must have been 16 or 17 in the story...... (I doubt he would have a jetski at a younger age although maybe)
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