Is this a lot?

Clodfobble · 09-27-2018, 09:40 AM

How many people do you know who have died? Like, people you interacted with and knew--not celebrities, friends of friends, or relatives who died before you were born.

I just came up with 24 names, including three from the Cellar (Sundae, Brianna, and LadySycamore.) Obviously the number skyrockets as you get older, but for a 37-year-old that seems like a lot. Is it?

captainhook455 · 09-27-2018, 10:31 AM

Everyone I know who has died are still dead. I miss my parents of course, but I miss my grandfather the most. There was a boy hood friend who died at 26.

lumberjim · 09-27-2018, 10:49 AM

tarheel, that needs to be printed on a T-shirt.

Everyone I know who has died are still dead

Amanda and I were just talking about this last night. I don't have anyone really close to me that's died yet. Grandparents, an Uncle, a work friend or two... maybe around 10-12 people ... probably way more if I widen the circle... but just people I was actively in touch with, it's not so many.

glatt · 09-27-2018, 12:39 PM

And of course Beest.

I don't know if it's a lot. Depends on how many people you know in the first place.

You have to figure that the rate will increase over time as you and all the people you know get older.

When people of your generation die, it's the most brutal. There have been a handful for me, and they suck. People leaving behind a spouse and kids who are still at home. It's not right. My cousin died when he was around 13. That's just bullshit right there. Tractor he was driving flipped on him.

Diaphone Jim · 09-27-2018, 01:23 PM

I'm 77 and it took about a minute to get to 24 names and certain there are twice that waiting for another minute.

Clodfobble · 09-27-2018, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

And of course Beest.

Fuck, I'd mentally blocked that one; too recent. A lot of my family deaths are from colon cancer, it's a touchy subject around here.

xoxoxoBruce · 09-27-2018, 03:33 PM

At least three dozen.

Undertoad · 09-27-2018, 04:25 PM

And Buster

My friend who died because she tried alternative medicine for her cancer, is the first really close friend who died. My father died when I was 3 but because of my early age it is a whole 'nother ball of wax.

sexobon · 09-27-2018, 06:11 PM

Between the guys I knew in the military who were killed and the people I got to know while working in healthcare who died, I've lost count. By your age, I had known quite a few more people who had died. Then there're grandparents, uncles, aunts, in-laws, father and a niece's 1 yo. Probably only a dozen to a dozen and a half that I was actually with when they died. I've assisted with autopsies; but, not of anyone I knew.

I think "a lot", over a long period of time, has more to do with the cumulative impact than the numbers. Over a short term, the numbers would be easier to characterize as relatively many or few.

lumberjim · 09-27-2018, 06:42 PM

we'll all be stone dead in a moment

Rhianne · 09-27-2018, 07:36 PM

JayMcGee - John - introduced me to The Cellar.

zippyt · 09-27-2018, 11:01 PM

dad when i was 5
Garnd dads Befor i was born
grand mothers 1 ( hint for moms DONT hand yer young son his grandmother ashes at her burial !!!!!)
grand mother 2 when i was 18ish ( she was in her 90s , no big suprise , but still sucked )
96 and 97 were Verry bad years for me and my wife
9/11/ 96 ( day After my Bday ) my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer , she died on 12/26/96 ( oh and her address , and the house i grew up in was 1226 )
Carols mom had a wreck the day befor Thanks giving , died that saterday
Sudo dad took a nap spring of 97 , woke up dead ( heart failure )
Sudo mom died of lung cancer not long after
So yes i have experienced death , it FUCKING SUCKS !!!!!
But we go on , we live with it , untill we dont
Thats why i dont get verry close with folks , it hurts when they are gone .
sorta numb to it at this point

monster · 09-27-2018, 11:40 PM

chronological order

People I actually interacted with -excluding elderly distant relatives I saw once every few years when they's visit my grandparents at christmas...

Great Grandmother, three grandparents (one cancer in old(er) age, two just old age), a fellow PhD student (cancer), FIL (heart/lungs/rough life, age), father of one of Thor's friends (cancer) beest's uncle (old age), beest (cancer) next door neighbor (cancer).

still in single digits. But let me tell you it's enough. Every day I am terrified one of my kids will be killed. I know, it's just a part of he grieving process, but it sucks.

I'm 48, for reference. (just) I keep thinking I'm 38 though :/

monster · 09-28-2018, 12:15 AM

Forgot the young ones.... One of the kids' waterpolo peers killed in a car accident and one of the boys' teammates committed suicide a couple of years ago

and the dwellars already mentioned of course

monster · 09-28-2018, 12:17 AM

Forgot the youngsters. Kids waterpolo peer and coach in a car crash, boys'hockey teammate, suicide

09-27-2018, 09:40 AM	#1
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Is this a lot? How many people do you know who have died? Like, people you interacted with and knew--not celebrities, friends of friends, or relatives who died before you were born. I just came up with 24 names, including three from the Cellar (Sundae, Brianna, and LadySycamore.) Obviously the number skyrockets as you get older, but for a 37-year-old that seems like a lot. Is it? __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

09-27-2018, 10:49 AM	#3
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	tarheel, that needs to be printed on a T-shirt. Everyone I know who has died are still dead Amanda and I were just talking about this last night. I don't have anyone really close to me that's died yet. Grandparents, an Uncle, a work friend or two... maybe around 10-12 people ... probably way more if I widen the circle... but just people I was actively in touch with, it's not so many. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

09-27-2018, 03:33 PM	#7
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	At least three dozen. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

09-27-2018, 06:42 PM	#10
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	we'll all be stone dead in a moment __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

09-27-2018, 11:01 PM	#12
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	dad when i was 5 Garnd dads Befor i was born grand mothers 1 ( hint for moms DONT hand yer young son his grandmother ashes at her burial !!!!!) grand mother 2 when i was 18ish ( she was in her 90s , no big suprise , but still sucked ) 96 and 97 were Verry bad years for me and my wife 9/11/ 96 ( day After my Bday ) my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer , she died on 12/26/96 ( oh and her address , and the house i grew up in was 1226 ) Carols mom had a wreck the day befor Thanks giving , died that saterday Sudo dad took a nap spring of 97 , woke up dead ( heart failure ) Sudo mom died of lung cancer not long after So yes i have experienced death , it FUCKING SUCKS !!!!! But we go on , we live with it , untill we dont Thats why i dont get verry close with folks , it hurts when they are gone . sorta numb to it at this point __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

09-27-2018, 10:31 AM	#2
captainhook455 Rapscallion Join Date: Aug 2016 Posts: 1,357	Everyone I know who has died are still dead. I miss my parents of course, but I miss my grandfather the most. There was a boy hood friend who died at 26.

09-27-2018, 12:39 PM	#4
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	And of course Beest. I don't know if it's a lot. Depends on how many people you know in the first place. You have to figure that the rate will increase over time as you and all the people you know get older. When people of your generation die, it's the most brutal. There have been a handful for me, and they suck. People leaving behind a spouse and kids who are still at home. It's not right. My cousin died when he was around 13. That's just bullshit right there. Tractor he was driving flipped on him.

09-27-2018, 01:23 PM	#5
Diaphone Jim Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Northern California Posts: 2,122	I'm 77 and it took about a minute to get to 24 names and certain there are twice that waiting for another minute.

09-27-2018, 04:25 PM	#8
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	And Buster My friend who died because she tried alternative medicine for her cancer, is the first really close friend who died. My father died when I was 3 but because of my early age it is a whole 'nother ball of wax.

09-27-2018, 06:11 PM	#9
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	Between the guys I knew in the military who were killed and the people I got to know while working in healthcare who died, I've lost count. By your age, I had known quite a few more people who had died. Then there're grandparents, uncles, aunts, in-laws, father and a niece's 1 yo. Probably only a dozen to a dozen and a half that I was actually with when they died. I've assisted with autopsies; but, not of anyone I knew. I think "a lot", over a long period of time, has more to do with the cumulative impact than the numbers. Over a short term, the numbers would be easier to characterize as relatively many or few.

09-27-2018, 07:36 PM	#11
Rhianne Nearly done. Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Teetering on the edge. Posts: 1,134	JayMcGee - John - introduced me to The Cellar.

09-27-2018, 11:40 PM	#13
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	chronological order People I actually interacted with -excluding elderly distant relatives I saw once every few years when they's visit my grandparents at christmas... Great Grandmother, three grandparents (one cancer in old(er) age, two just old age), a fellow PhD student (cancer), FIL (heart/lungs/rough life, age), father of one of Thor's friends (cancer) beest's uncle (old age), beest (cancer) next door neighbor (cancer). still in single digits. But let me tell you it's enough. Every day I am terrified one of my kids will be killed. I know, it's just a part of he grieving process, but it sucks. I'm 48, for reference. (just) I keep thinking I'm 38 though :/ __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

09-28-2018, 12:15 AM	#14
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Forgot the young ones.... One of the kids' waterpolo peers killed in a car accident and one of the boys' teammates committed suicide a couple of years ago and the dwellars already mentioned of course __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

09-28-2018, 12:17 AM	#15
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Forgot the youngsters. Kids waterpolo peer and coach in a car crash, boys'hockey teammate, suicide __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

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