The importance of Why?

I think we ask "why" because we want our lives to make sense, and we want to feel that we have some sort of control over the things that happen to us. "Mommy! Why did the kitty scratch me?" "Because you were pulling its tail, you little sadist. Kitty doesn't like that." So we learn how not to be clawed by kitty. "Why do all my plants die?" "Cuz you didn't water them, idiot." So we learn to water the plants or else stop throwing our money away buying them if watering is too much trouble. We want to achieve outcomes favorable to ourselves and avoid those which are not. Understanding the reason for those outcomes helps us to do that. "Why" is probably the biggest question humans ask and the most frequent one. Religions are founded on "why." "Why doesn't it rain and all my crops are dying?" "You didn't throw enough virgins into the volcano to placate the local Gods, idiot." So you go round up some virgins and toss them in. Whether it works or not, you are attempting to acquire some control over your life.

Asking why can be a good thing, especially if we pay attention to the answers we get and make use of them. But sometimes we get stuck on "why." Who knows why your brother was born with some awful genetic disease that the scientists can't explain while you were spared? Who knows why the man you fall madly in love with falls madly in love with someone else, and the man who is madly in love with you reminds you of that kid in your 8th grade class who you couldn't stand?

Some things have no easy explanations - if they have an explanation at all. We simply have to accept them and let go of the asking. We don't have as much (or as little) control over our lives as we might like to think. The best response to some things is just to accept the waves and surf on. Ha-WHY-ee, here we come!