Things not to say when asking for a date

[Nothing But Net]

As you don't know, Lin has been transferred to Nashville, and I'm all alone in this big ol' town.

I called a woman I met a few nights ago at my local hang.

Let's call her 'Marie'. At various points thru this conversation I said:

NBN: "I'm sorry, I haven't asked for a date in over ten years"
(Mind you this was after she told me she hadn't dated in a long time.)

NBN: "I took some really good pictures of you and your friend. What was her name?"

NBN: "I had to get a little drunk to call you." (Never good even if you've known her for years.)

Best (or worst) for last:

Five minutes into our conversation I said this:

NBN: "I remember talking about your tattoo..." (She has one plainly visible on her breast in my photo of her, and I recall her saying the night we met that 'Laser is expensive')
"Have you ever considered having someone try to suck it off?"
Marie: "WHAAAAT???"

I'm surprised she kept speaking to me after that.

Next time I'll record any such exchanges. You would laugh your asses off, and maybe I'll get that Internet 15-minutes of fame I so desperately seek.