Now I KNOW I'm old... - Page 3

sexobon · 04-25-2018, 10:28 PM

You know you've got one foot in the grave when you can't even read the articles 'cause you only know how to write.

zippyt · 04-25-2018, 10:29 PM

Great articles though

monster · 04-25-2018, 10:31 PM

but are they real and do we care?

captainhook455 · 04-26-2018, 06:43 AM

If you do most of your reading while on the toilet.

I only see my wife's boobies when I help her with a bra.

Sex is with a threesome, me, myself and I.

I see a 50 yr old woman and think she is hot.

A 20 yr old car is not that old.

I forget what I am talking about mid sentence. Why just the

tw · 04-26-2018, 08:39 AM

Cut off your hand to count the rings. To really know how old your are.

Doing it proves you are too old.

Gravdigr · 04-26-2018, 03:00 PM

Yer wearing yer rings wrong. Put 'em on yer fingers, and ya won't hafta cut yer hand off to count them.

Now ya know.

And knowing is half the battle.

tw · 04-27-2018, 08:44 PM

Simply count the rings. How many times does the phone ring before you can get to it? More rings means one is getting older.

How to stay younger. Use a portable phone. Stay in bed and answer faster. Then do not feel so old.

Gravdigr · 04-30-2018, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tw

Simply count the rings. How many times does the phone ring before you can get to it? More rings means one is getting older.

My phone doesn't ring. It speaks. "Call from Hand Tool."

It speaks cuz I'm too old to read the fucking display.

ETA: Well, my eyes are too old to read the fucking display. I don't how I came to have these old eyes...

xoxoxoBruce · 04-30-2018, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

I don't how I came to have these old eyes...

From looking too hard... or in all the wrong places.

lumberjim · 04-28-2018, 08:06 AM

you know how I know you're old?

your balls touch the toilet water

captainhook455 · 04-28-2018, 08:11 AM

Try sitting on one of your balls. Like having a Thanksgiving dinner with 8 people at the table and you sit on your nuts. Ow.

monster · 04-29-2018, 10:07 PM

you know you're old when you get carded for booze and then the cashier says "wow you look younger than that" (because I know I don't look very young....)

monster · 04-30-2018, 10:53 AM

Sorry, but that's not a nice way to describe lj

fargon · 04-30-2018, 12:26 PM

^^^BAN IT^^^

Gravdigr · 04-30-2018, 03:14 PM

Ya know how to know when you're old?

Ya start griping about how old ya are.

04-25-2018, 10:29 PM	#2
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	Great articles though __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

04-25-2018, 10:31 PM	#3
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	but are they real and do we care? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

04-26-2018, 03:00 PM	#6
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Yer wearing yer rings wrong. Put 'em on yer fingers, and ya won't hafta cut yer hand off to count them. Now ya know. And knowing is half the battle. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

04-28-2018, 08:06 AM	#10
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	you know how I know you're old? your balls touch the toilet water __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

04-29-2018, 10:07 PM	#12
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	you know you're old when you get carded for booze and then the cashier says "wow you look younger than that" (because I know I don't look very young....) __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

04-25-2018, 10:28 PM	#1
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	You know you've got one foot in the grave when you can't even read the articles 'cause you only know how to write.

04-26-2018, 06:43 AM	#4
captainhook455 Rapscallion Join Date: Aug 2016 Posts: 1,357	If you do most of your reading while on the toilet. I only see my wife's boobies when I help her with a bra. Sex is with a threesome, me, myself and I. I see a 50 yr old woman and think she is hot. A 20 yr old car is not that old. I forget what I am talking about mid sentence. Why just the

04-26-2018, 08:39 AM	#5
tw Read? I only know how to write. Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 11,933	Cut off your hand to count the rings. To really know how old your are. Doing it proves you are too old.

04-27-2018, 08:44 PM	#7
tw Read? I only know how to write. Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 11,933	Simply count the rings. How many times does the phone ring before you can get to it? More rings means one is getting older. How to stay younger. Use a portable phone. Stay in bed and answer faster. Then do not feel so old.

04-28-2018, 08:11 AM	#11
captainhook455 Rapscallion Join Date: Aug 2016 Posts: 1,357	Try sitting on one of your balls. Like having a Thanksgiving dinner with 8 people at the table and you sit on your nuts. Ow.

04-30-2018, 10:53 AM	#13
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Sorry, but that's not a nice way to describe lj __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

04-30-2018, 12:26 PM	#14
fargon Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: La Crosse, WI Posts: 8,924	^^^BAN IT^^^ __________________ Annoy the ones that ignore you!!! I live a blessed life I Love my Country, I Fear the Government!!! Heavily medicated for the good of mankind.

04-30-2018, 03:14 PM	#15
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Ya know how to know when you're old? Ya start griping about how old ya are. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

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