try not to compare your insides to their outsides

[monster]

I needed this mantra this weekend when people were judging/criticizing me for my massive diet coke consumption (as I sat for hour after hour at the score table because not enough people volunteered). It is true, it is one of my demons ...but just one of them and not terribly high up on my exorcism list right now.

As I was driving back to the school for the second dose on Saturday, I found myself crying as I was driving and trying to gee myself up to tell them about how it hurt my feelings because I do know it's bad for me but...... and then I thought "wait, maybe they are comparing their insides to my outside and don't realize I'm screwed up too and will be hurt....." And it worked. By the time I got there, I didn't need to tell them any more. I realized people think I have my shit together when really I don't and I felt better and able to deal with it.

....and then some lovely person brought me two huge bottles of diet coke and I wanted to hug her for not judging me. And I'm not huggy.