True Friends

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Perry Winkle

Talk to her about it when she's not feeling completely overwhelmed?

I would have to agree. I think by talking to her when she is not spinning up in her stress and nastiness that most, but obviously not all, people will be reasonable, esp if you have developed a relationship from the past experiences as you described them. Sit her down and tell her your feelings, all of them. You cannot be vague, you must be specific about the things that bothered you by the specific things she said that hurt you. She will understand or she will lose it completely and you will be right back where you started, so nothing really lost. I would find it hard to continue to have a relationship with her after that point if she goes off on you for your honesty. Good luck.

[Hoof Hearted]

I wouldn't wait for a calm/quiet period to discuss it at all. Why take a nice moment and ruin it? ...because she (if she is a true drama-llama) will feel she is being unjustly attacked and will react negatively.

Nope.
Toss it right back at her the very next time she snarks-off at you.
Ask her why she would say something like that to you?
Or tell her (with a smile on your face and in your voice) that was a lovely thing to say and then leave her company immediately.

If you show her no reaction, it is reinforcing her belief that her behavior is acceptable and she will escalate it, and never moderate it, if you don't let her know it is not acceptable.
If she never contacts you again...count yourself lucky.


*story*
I had a BF who got angry at me for something I had no control over.
I was to drop him off to fish at a river with his brother for two hours and I was going to the stable to ride my horse. After my ride, I was to return to the river to pick him and his brother up at the agreed upon time.
No cell phones.
BF's fishing pole broke after the first few casts, but by the time he walked to the little bait store to use the pay phone, I had already left the stable on my horse and was unreachable. When I returned from my relaxing ride, he was fuming and took it out on me verbally, though I had no control over what had happened. He told me to: 'not even think about staying overnight with him'.
I dropped him and his brother off, didn't say a word and drove home. I didn't make any effort to contact him. After about three days, he called me and asked why I hadn't been around, and I reminded him that I was doing what he last told me to do. He was silent as he thought about that. I didn't help him or make it easier for him to apologize to me. But he did apologize.

Oh, how I wish I had just stayed "gone". I would not have suffered further at his whims, though I am glad of the opportunity to appreciate my husband because of that evil-tempered BF.

When people show you who they are...believe them.
This girl is showing you who she is. Are you going to believe her?

[classicman]

Originally Posted by Hoof Hearted

When people show you who they are...believe them.

Excellent!

[Stormieweather]

Some people thrive on drama. They aren't concerned with the effects of their drama on those around them, they're focusing on the adrenaline rush that emotional overdrive brings. They like living emotionally on the edge and often encourage drama to fill their addiction.

You can tell this friend you're hurt by her attitude towards you and ask her to stop, but if she chooses not to, there is nothing further you can do about her.

You do have the right to choose not to have that sort of person in your life, however.