It is so hard to swallow

[freshnesschronic]

She thought I overreacted, which I did. She says he was just kidding and didn't mean it. But still, I am not comfortable with him saying that, joke or not.

[yesman065]

Originally Posted by freshnesschronic

She thought I overreacted, which I did. She says he was just kidding and didn't mean it. But still, I am not comfortable with him saying that, joke or not.

I get the "not uncomfortable part" but your reaction as you readily admitted was uncalled for and IMO immature at best. Thats ok you are immature - you should be! You're 19. The fact that you have a problem with him and not her is sort of strange though. SHE is the one with a commitment to you - not him and "60+ im/pm, emails, messages whatever" is rather interesting/telling to me. Did you know that they were friends? That they were talking....?

I gotta admit though - Ibby does have a point in that your reaction makes sense if you are a very possessive person. Just food for thought - then again what the hell do I know?

[Bullitt]

I'll admit I went through a bit of the same with my last girlfriend fresh'. She had a great habit of going to these seedy clubs with her girl friends and letting guys buy her drinks and all. She wasn't a cheater, never has been and never will be. But I got in this mindset of "well you can control your actions, but you can't control those of people around you. All it take sis one perv, one guy who's had too many and the worst could happen. Control what situations you put yourself in". That turns into a real slippery slope of controlling. Were her actions at all appropriate, in my mind of course not no question. However if you ride her for these things, you will cause her to think that you don't trust her.. and that's huge.

The best defense is a good offense here. If you're treating her right, she's happy and all, she most likely won't have a single reason to mess around or leave you. If she does anyway, then she's got attachment/intimacy issues and you don't want any of that.

The best thing you can do is keep a level head, and talk it out. Don't turn it into a huge ass fight, no one wins in the end with those. Tell her about your reservations about this guy, and ask her what she thinks. Keep cool man. If you really feel for this girl like you've told us, then it would stupid to let something like this ruin what you got.

Originally Posted by glatt

That's perfectly understandable, fresh. I would probably feel the same way to some extent. I certainly wouldn't act on it like that though. Women don't find jealousy attractive.

What lesson will you take away from this episode?

Hit the nail on the head there glatt.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by freshnesschronic

I am not comfortable with him saying that, joke or not.

That's perfectly understandable, fresh. I would probably feel the same way to some extent. I certainly wouldn't act on it like that though. Women don't find jealousy attractive.

What lesson will you take away from this episode?