It is so hard to swallow - Page 2

Jeboduuza · 08-08-2007, 08:31 AM

No, I wouldn't like it if some work guy said that to my woman either (when I find her). Not fly.

Ibby · 08-08-2007, 08:43 AM

yes, it's not acceptable for your girlfriend to have a friend like this! after all, she belongs solely to you, no?

freshnesschronic · 08-08-2007, 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ibram

yes, it's not acceptable for your girlfriend to have a friend like this! after all, she belongs solely to you, no?

No, that's not what I said. It is unacceptable for him to say that. Read what I said, man.

Ibby · 08-08-2007, 09:09 AM

Nothing about it is unacceptable unless you base it on the assumption that she belongs to you.

If she is her own person, she can make her own judgments on what is and isnt okay for people to say to her. If she is 'yours', then you make them for her.
Which is it?

freshnesschronic · 08-08-2007, 09:25 AM

Read what I said, then get back to me.

kerosene · 08-08-2007, 09:28 AM

How does your girlfriend feel about him saying he loves her? How does she interpret it?

Ibby · 08-08-2007, 09:45 AM

I read all of it, FC. All I see is you bitching because some dude talked the wrong way to your lady.

When you stop thinking of her as yours, things like this will cease to be a problem.

freshnesschronic · 08-08-2007, 10:21 AM

She thought I overreacted, which I did. She says he was just kidding and didn't mean it. But still, I am not comfortable with him saying that, joke or not.

yesman065 · 08-08-2007, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by freshnesschronic

She thought I overreacted, which I did. She says he was just kidding and didn't mean it. But still, I am not comfortable with him saying that, joke or not.

I get the "not uncomfortable part" but your reaction as you readily admitted was uncalled for and IMO immature at best. Thats ok you are immature - you should be! You're 19. The fact that you have a problem with him and not her is sort of strange though. SHE is the one with a commitment to you - not him and "60+ im/pm, emails, messages whatever" is rather interesting/telling to me. Did you know that they were friends? That they were talking....?

I gotta admit though - Ibby does have a point in that your reaction makes sense if you are a very possessive person. Just food for thought - then again what the hell do I know?

glatt · 08-08-2007, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by freshnesschronic

I am not comfortable with him saying that, joke or not.

That's perfectly understandable, fresh. I would probably feel the same way to some extent. I certainly wouldn't act on it like that though. Women don't find jealousy attractive.

What lesson will you take away from this episode?

freshnesschronic · 08-08-2007, 11:00 AM

From my friend last nite, "chill the fuck out." I had my testosterone flare up, panties in a bunch, jock strap rash, whatever you wanna call it. But we all do sometimes.

Bullitt · 08-08-2007, 11:05 AM

I'll admit I went through a bit of the same with my last girlfriend fresh'. She had a great habit of going to these seedy clubs with her girl friends and letting guys buy her drinks and all. She wasn't a cheater, never has been and never will be. But I got in this mindset of "well you can control your actions, but you can't control those of people around you. All it take sis one perv, one guy who's had too many and the worst could happen. Control what situations you put yourself in". That turns into a real slippery slope of controlling. Were her actions at all appropriate, in my mind of course not no question. However if you ride her for these things, you will cause her to think that you don't trust her.. and that's huge.

The best defense is a good offense here. If you're treating her right, she's happy and all, she most likely won't have a single reason to mess around or leave you. If she does anyway, then she's got attachment/intimacy issues and you don't want any of that.

The best thing you can do is keep a level head, and talk it out. Don't turn it into a huge ass fight, no one wins in the end with those. Tell her about your reservations about this guy, and ask her what she thinks. Keep cool man. If you really feel for this girl like you've told us, then it would stupid to let something like this ruin what you got.

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

That's perfectly understandable, fresh. I would probably feel the same way to some extent. I certainly wouldn't act on it like that though. Women don't find jealousy attractive.

What lesson will you take away from this episode?

Hit the nail on the head there glatt.

08-08-2007, 02:33 PM

Jealously is a lack of trust and nothing more.
If you trust her, nothing he says to her will matter.
Why can't her friends say "love you" to her and she the same to them?

Do you trust her?

Perry Winkle · 08-08-2007, 07:05 PM

My only question is why do you have access to her facebook account?

That's just stupid.

08-08-2007, 07:17 PM

No shit.
Creepy!

08-08-2007, 08:31 AM	#16
Jeboduuza Custom User Title Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: de_dust Posts: 141	No, I wouldn't like it if some work guy said that to my woman either (when I find her). Not fly. __________________ I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it. -Voltaire

08-08-2007, 08:43 AM	#17
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	yes, it's not acceptable for your girlfriend to have a friend like this! after all, she belongs solely to you, no? __________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

08-08-2007, 09:09 AM	#19
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	Nothing about it is unacceptable unless you base it on the assumption that she belongs to you. If she is her own person, she can make her own judgments on what is and isnt okay for people to say to her. If she is 'yours', then you make them for her. Which is it? __________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

08-08-2007, 09:45 AM	#22
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	I read all of it, FC. All I see is you bitching because some dude talked the wrong way to your lady. When you stop thinking of her as yours, things like this will cease to be a problem. __________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

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08-08-2007, 09:25 AM	#20
freshnesschronic Professor Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,555	Read what I said, then get back to me.

08-08-2007, 09:28 AM	#21
kerosene Touring the facilities Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The plains of Colorado Posts: 3,476	How does your girlfriend feel about him saying he loves her? How does she interpret it?

08-08-2007, 10:21 AM	#23
freshnesschronic Professor Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,555	She thought I overreacted, which I did. She says he was just kidding and didn't mean it. But still, I am not comfortable with him saying that, joke or not.

08-08-2007, 11:00 AM	#26
freshnesschronic Professor Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,555	From my friend last nite, "chill the fuck out." I had my testosterone flare up, panties in a bunch, jock strap rash, whatever you wanna call it. But we all do sometimes.

08-08-2007, 02:33 PM	#28
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Jealously is a lack of trust and nothing more. If you trust her, nothing he says to her will matter. Why can't her friends say "love you" to her and she the same to them? Do you trust her?

08-08-2007, 07:05 PM	#29
Perry Winkle Esnohplad Semaj Ton Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: A little south of sanity Posts: 2,259	My only question is why do you have access to her facebook account? That's just stupid.

08-08-2007, 07:17 PM	#30
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	No shit. Creepy!

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