How does one become okay with being single?

[sexobon]

Originally Posted by DanaC

It may not be true that you won't stop meeting someone til you stop looking...

But it does help if you aren't desperate.

It's not so much about becoming comfortable with singledom forever. It's more about becomng comfortable with singledom right now. ...

Originally Posted by DanaC

I think the big difficulty here is that he hasn;t experienced a serious long-term relationship. It's much easier to come to conclusions about what you want and what will make you happy if you have some frame of reference.

I see an equally large difficulty with his playing field being full of people who have learned, directly or indirectly, to avoid those who are looking for someone who will *make me happy*. Knowledgeable people seek someone who has found other ways to be happy, not just comfortable, with whom a relationship would enhance their mutual happiness rather than someone who needs a partner to be happy. The latter situation yields lower stability as even life's routine separations, physical and emotional, can cause such a relationship to spiral downward when one person takes the basic happiness of the other with them.

To peak other's interest, mr.moons can take stock of what's already making him happy and, starting with the most common, pursue those in social settings even if he has to redirect himself from solitary pursuits (e.g. collectors can join clubs). The more often he can present himself as an intrinsically happy person who's available; but, not needy (let alone desperate), the better his chances of making a healthy long term connection.