May 1, 2009: Not A Shark

[ZenGum]

1. Marinade dolphin in a briny solution of effluent, untreated sewage, and agricultural run-off. For extra zing, add 17 shipping container of ammonium nitrate and 3,000 tonnes of diesel oil.
2. Tenderize dolphin, by repeatedly running over it with a speedboat. If you have an outboard propeller, this can also give you a head start in chopping.
3. Hack dolphin into slabs with a knife the size of your forearm. Wear a manly hat while doing this.
4. Throw large slabs of dolphin flesh onto the barbie.
5. Drink one beer.
6. Turn meat.
7. Drink another beer.
8. Remove from heat and serve.
It is often done to set aside the more easily recognizable parts of the animal, to serve to more sensitive guests. The laughter their reactions will generate can break the ice and make your barbecue a truly memorable one.