You’re not doing well.

[Clodfobble]

I actually find it really hard to answer "good," because that's usually inaccurate. Not that everything's awful all the time, but life is just more complicated than that.

I know people aren't really asking, and it's as perfunctory as "how do you do?" or "have a nice day." But people around here--which is to say teachers, parents, mostly women when you get right down to it--say it with a certain emphasis, where they tilt their head to the side just a little, frown with their eyes but smile with their mouth, and say "how are you" or "how are you" as if to make it clear that, yes, this is a meaningless greeting elsewhere in the world, but they care so much they really mean it. If I respond to that with a glib, "Good, how are you?" then suddenly I'm the jerk.

Anyway, the answer that usually comes out of my mouth is a wry "We're getting there!" with a big smile, hopefully conveying something along the lines of "It's shit, actually, but I'm keeping positive about the whole thing!" There used to be a (male) teacher at the school who always answered the question with, "Livin' the dream!" and I might try adopting that, since the more enthusiastically you say it, the more sarcastic it sounds.