I need your conspiracy theories

[Kozmique]

The government, which is really run by aliens, is using television and antidepressants to turn us into totally submissive zombies.

or

The government knows that the Earth is really a highly evolved life form, and we are just parasites crawling on its skin. The high and mighty plan to bleed the planet dry and then hop into their spacecraft and go looking for a new host to infest, just like fleas jumping off dying rats in a plague. The rest of us will die fighting over the last few cc's of bottled oxygen. This is the fate that befell Mars before they came over here.