Confused about reaction

I was at a bar that I have never been to today, younger people (20s & 30s mostly).
Every third person that walked by or in the door would stop and stare at me like they just saw a snake or bomb, as if "OMG! A guy in a WHEELCHAIR!"
Seriously, staring right at me with this shocked expression on their face for a good five seconds.
Then they would quickly look away, sometimes at the ceiling and briskly walk away, giving me a very wide berth.
It was HILARIOUS, and VERY creepy at the same time.
I would waive at them or smile, and they would freak... in a very "frozen" kinda' way.
What the hell?
We never did figure it out (the people at my table).
My wife thinks it's because I'm "young" and it was "weird" to see someone who is not very old or "sick looking" in a wheelchair for young people (It was mostly the 20ish kids doing it.
But, I don't usually get that kind of reaction in public...
It was just weird.

[Weird Harold]

They probably didn't mean to stare. Their reaction was the light bulb going off over their head. They were thinking, Why didn't I think of that? Back when I used to go to bars, a wheel chair would of come in real handy.

Not really, it is a huge pain in the ass in a bar. Once you get in a spot, after you have had the ENTIRE bar rearranged for you, you stay, unless you are willing to make everyone move again.

[DanaC]

That's weird rk. Horrible having people stare at you, I think. When I was a kid my eczema used to get so bad I'd be covered in bandages, and my face would swell up. People stared, one woman even pulled her kid away from me; I think she was scared her kid would catch whatever i had :P

[lizzymahoney]

I'm not albino, but I might as well play one on TV. The absolutely most accepting group of people in a huge crowd that I've ever seen is at science fiction conventions. A few other geek type events, too.

My experience with twenty-somes lately is all family. They are amazingly narrow-minded and insular, to my way of thinking. My sister's kids and their friends... I'd hope they would take a wheelchair user in stride, but I don't know anymore.

What the fuck do they think wheelchair ramps and access are for? Skateboards?

[lizzymahoney]

Right now, I have a bandage high on my forehead. I could have used flesh colored paper tape, but used the white that was handy. Now I'm thinking of taking my dog to the dog beach, but wondering if I should wear a hat or change the bandage to something less obvious. I don't care much about people staring generally, but I think I would train my dog to sic if people annoy me too much today.

Yesterday, a kid visiting at the neighbor's house borrowed a junk bike from me. I took my dog out later. Quiet cul-de-sac, no leash on a border collie cross golden of advanced years. Pepperoncini perked up when she saw our bike and a strange kid. The kid dropped the bike in the middle of the circle and ran into their open garage. It really pissed me off that a ten or twelve year old kid did not know how to behave safely around a dog. My dog is fine. She's never bitten anyone, but she is overly protective for good cause. She could have killed that kid if she was just any dog. My biggest problem there is lack of personal responsibility on the part of the parents raising that kid. You take a kid like that, bring him down to the islands and he behaves like that and he'll be losing a chunk of his leg. Forget the Caribbean, that could happen in some neighborhoods and rural areas around here. So what planet did those parents grow up on? Did they pass their parenting classes? Oh yeah, you don't need to prove you have enough smarts to have a kid, you just do it.

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by lizzymahoney

Pepperoncini perked up when she saw our bike and a strange kid. The kid dropped the bike in the middle of the circle and ran into their open garage. It really pissed me off that a ten or twelve year old kid did not know how to behave safely around a dog.... She could have killed that kid if she was just any dog. My biggest problem there is lack of personal responsibility on the part of the parents raising that kid.

I'm not sure I get the the whole story here.

When you say perked up I assume you mean barking, or looking threatening in some way?
In which case I can't see how the child is at fault. A dog he doesn't know acted in a way he didn't expect and he ran to the nearest available refuge?

If dogs kill people for doing this, then I submit it is the dog owner's fault for not controlling their incredibly dangerous animals. I appreciate your dog isn't dangerous, but the boy did not know this.

Also I can't see how the parents could be at fault. I was certainly never taught not to run from a barking dog. It never came up. Which is why I'm questioning this now in case I got the wrong end of the stick.

Anyway, back to the OT. I think people here have nailed it already RK - the people in question were surprised by what they saw. There's a number of factors that would be unusual, especially taken together - the motorised chair, your age, your appearance (shaved head, natty dress, apparent health) the fact you were behaving like a "normal" person - conversing, having a drink (as opposed to someone parked in the corner, dribbling).

I have to admit it's hard for me to relate. I grew up close to a hospital that specialised in spinal injuries - people came from all over the UK (and even the world) for treatment. At least once a year we had visits at school from people in wheelchairs. I remember a young woman who was a victim of drink driving - who read us some rather bad poetry, and a guy who was on the Olympic basketball team with bright red hair (a classmate asked him cheekily if the other guys picked on him for being ginger). I think it was intended as social integration. The town would be inundated with wheelchair athletes for the Games every year - we were more interested in hearing real American, Australian etc accents than we were phased by the chairs.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by lizzymahoney

I took my dog out later. Quiet cul-de-sac, no leash on a border collie cross golden of advanced years. Pepperoncini perked up when she saw our bike and a strange kid. The kid dropped the bike in the middle of the circle and ran into their open garage. It really pissed me off that a ten or twelve year old kid did not know how to behave safely around a dog.

It really pisses me off that you had your dog off its leash in a public area and you are blaming the kid for being a potential victim. It is 100% your responsibility to be in control of your dog. The kid has zero responsibility here.

It may be wise for parents to teach their kids how to behave around dogs, but it's certainly not required, and you have no right to be pissed off that the kid didn't know how to act around your dog while you were on a public street.

Originally Posted by DanaC

That's weird rk. Horrible having people stare at you, I think. When I was a kid my eczema used to get so bad I'd be covered in bandages, and my face would swell up. People stared, one woman even pulled her kid away from me; I think she was scared her kid would catch whatever i had :P

Not really horrible. I wasn't trying to make it a negative. It's not. I was an actor for a very long time, so I'm not weird about attention.
I'm just confused about it.

I was near the front door, but the whole front of the bar is windows, no light adjustment. I was with mix of regulars and new people. Honestly, I go to concerts at bars from time to time and have never had this happen, but they tend to be "harder" bars or more rock oriented, we/I just don't get that kind of attention in those bars. A lot of them were actually were our age (mid thirties and some were even older), it was an Irish pub. I was not upset, I'm really curious.
When people just come up and ask why I am more than happy to tell them and help them understand. People need to feel comfortable with illness and mortality.
Now that I think about it, perhaps my being with an attractive woman was weird for them?

not occur to them that people in wheelchairs can visit bars.

Ok, that is just weird.

[skysidhe]

It proababy wasn't the wheelchair as a whole. It was probably because you're so dammed good looking.

[Shawnee123]

Originally Posted by skysidhe

It proababy wasn't the wheelchair as a whole. It was probably because you're so dammed good looking.

Damn, she beat me to it. Seriously, rage, you have quite a strong character that just beams out of you. Sometimes you post a pic of yourself and I feel like you can see me through the computer screen (luckily I'm at work and we aren't allowed to be nekkid.) I imagine they felt a bit of respect for you, knowing you have had your crosses to bear and can still turn the heads of women, and a few guys too.

[DanaC]

Good point Sky!

[Bullitt]

I think your wife and sky are exactly right. Their little schema of the world doesn't include good looking people in wheelchairs. They think wheelchair and automatically see in their heads some frail old guy in his 90's in a Hoveround or a "retarded" kid who is drooling on himself.

Screw 'em, go back with some buddies and enjoy your beer. OMG he has friends too???!?1

[xoxoxoBruce]

Seeing someone in a chair, that's obviously not old or maimed, has got to raise curiosity. Just about the time (talking seconds here) the questions are formed in the mind, the memory of Mom grabbing you by the ear and saying, "don't stare, it's not polite... be quiet... move along", kick in.
If the person in the chair has noticed, then it's deer in the headlights awkward, followed by flight.

See, it's always Mom's fault.

[Griff]

Maybe you were a little slice of reality in the middle of a bunch of drunks escaping it. *shrug* You were a bouncer, you probably understand drinkers better than most.