Dear Cellar:

Undertoad · 02-24-2009, 11:48 PM

It was suggested that I post each "Contact Us" to its own thread. Then everybody can answer the message and I can send the answers to the person.

We start

------------------------------

From

: kim @ The Cellar
Subject: The Cellar Contact Us Form - I have a question

The following message was sent to you via the The Cellar Contact Us form by kim.

------------------------------

I was thinking about getting a monkey and i was wondering if monkeys are legal in california and if certain types of monkeys are legal in certain states?

Thanks,
Kim

Aliantha · 02-24-2009, 11:50 PM

Dear Kim,

I don't think you need a monkey.

The Cellar.

lumberjim · 02-24-2009, 11:56 PM

kim,

It realy depends on what you intend to DO with the monkey. If you intend to eat it, it is NOT legal in California, but legal in Kentucky. If you intend to MARRY the monkey, you can only do that in Oklahoma. If you just want to keep it as a pet, you can do that in any state except Mississippi, provided you get a permit.

BigV · 02-24-2009, 11:56 PM

Bonjour Mme Kim:

Do you have a laaaahzhanzce fhor zat meeenkey?

Bon chance!

Teh Cellar

Nirvana · 02-25-2009, 12:04 AM

Dear Kim ,
Don't you like your face?

wolf · 02-25-2009, 01:06 AM

Dear Kim,

Spanking the monkey doesn't involve an actual monkey.

Offer void where prohibited by law and good taste.

Except in Nebraska.

ZenGum · 02-25-2009, 05:27 AM

Monkeys are legal in California, but only for medical purposes.

You may marry your monkey, but only if it is a heterosexual relationship.

classicman · 02-25-2009, 07:55 AM

Kim,

Thank you for your inquiry. Good luck with your monkey.
Just don't spank it, that can cause blindness - or so I'm told.

sweetwater · 02-25-2009, 08:01 AM

Kim,

Nobody 'thinks' about getting a monkey, they just get them on impulse. If anyone 'thought' about them and the hassle they can be, then they'd leave them in their environments and picture-books.
Also, you wouldn't look good in a yellow hat.

glatt · 02-25-2009, 08:30 AM

Kim,
Monkeys are evil. This is well established fact. Don't be foolish. Get a nice mutt instead. You will be happier.

Trilby · 02-25-2009, 09:52 AM

Kim,

I'd have to see the look on the monkey's face before I would feel comfortable about advising you on purchase.

Love,
Brianna

HungLikeJesus · 02-25-2009, 10:10 AM

Dear Kim,

Quote:

Originally Posted by juju

I don't understand the whole pet thing. Seems like slavery to me.

LabRat · 02-25-2009, 10:28 AM

are you going to actually send this back to them? if so, i vote for sweetwater's. the yellow hat bit made me laugh out loud.

Shawnee123 · 02-25-2009, 11:07 AM

Dear Kim:

See, the thing about monkeys is...you never really have a monkey; ultimately, the monkey has you.

May I suggest you start with Sea Monkeys and see how that goes?

Sincerely,

Teh Cellar

footfootfoot · 02-25-2009, 11:30 AM

Dear Kim,
We have a saying: "Monkey see, monkey do." If I have to spell it out for you in plain English that means if your monkey sees you, which is highly probable given that you are his owner and caretaker, then he will feel compelled to do you. Is that really what you want? An inter-species relationship? Please think this through.

02-24-2009, 11:48 PM	#1
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Dear Cellar: It was suggested that I post each "Contact Us" to its own thread. Then everybody can answer the message and I can send the answers to the person. We start ------------------------------ From: kim @ The Cellar Subject: The Cellar Contact Us Form - I have a question The following message was sent to you via the The Cellar Contact Us form by kim. ------------------------------ I was thinking about getting a monkey and i was wondering if monkeys are legal in california and if certain types of monkeys are legal in certain states? Thanks, Kim

02-24-2009, 11:50 PM	#2
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Dear Kim, I don't think you need a monkey. The Cellar. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

02-24-2009, 11:56 PM	#3
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	kim, It realy depends on what you intend to DO with the monkey. If you intend to eat it, it is NOT legal in California, but legal in Kentucky. If you intend to MARRY the monkey, you can only do that in Oklahoma. If you just want to keep it as a pet, you can do that in any state except Mississippi, provided you get a permit. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

02-24-2009, 11:56 PM	#4
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Bonjour Mme Kim: Do you have a laaaahzhanzce fhor zat meeenkey? Bon chance! Teh Cellar __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

02-25-2009, 12:04 AM	#5
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	Dear Kim , Don't you like your face? __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

02-25-2009, 01:06 AM	#6
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Dear Kim, Spanking the monkey doesn't involve an actual monkey. Offer void where prohibited by law and good taste. Except in Nebraska. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

02-25-2009, 05:27 AM	#7
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Monkeys are legal in California, but only for medical purposes. You may marry your monkey, but only if it is a heterosexual relationship. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

02-25-2009, 07:55 AM	#8
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Kim, Thank you for your inquiry. Good luck with your monkey. Just don't spank it, that can cause blindness - or so I'm told. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

02-25-2009, 08:01 AM	#9
sweetwater lives inside a Mobius strip Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 1,120	Kim, Nobody 'thinks' about getting a monkey, they just get them on impulse. If anyone 'thought' about them and the hassle they can be, then they'd leave them in their environments and picture-books. Also, you wouldn't look good in a yellow hat. __________________ I knew I shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque! - Bugs Bunny

02-25-2009, 08:30 AM	#10
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Kim, Monkeys are evil. This is well established fact. Don't be foolish. Get a nice mutt instead. You will be happier.

02-25-2009, 09:52 AM	#11
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Kim, I'd have to see the look on the monkey's face before I would feel comfortable about advising you on purchase. Love, Brianna __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

02-25-2009, 10:28 AM	#13
LabRat twatfaced two legged bumhole Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,143	are you going to actually send this back to them? if so, i vote for sweetwater's. the yellow hat bit made me laugh out loud. __________________ Strength does not come from how much weight you can lift, or how many miles you can run. It comes from knowing that you set a goal, and rose to the challenge. Strength comes from within.

02-25-2009, 11:07 AM	#14
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Dear Kim: See, the thing about monkeys is...you never really have a monkey; ultimately, the monkey has you. May I suggest you start with Sea Monkeys and see how that goes? Sincerely, Teh Cellar __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

02-25-2009, 11:30 AM	#15
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Dear Kim, We have a saying: "Monkey see, monkey do." If I have to spell it out for you in plain English that means if your monkey sees you, which is highly probable given that you are his owner and caretaker, then he will feel compelled to do you. Is that really what you want? An inter-species relationship? Please think this through. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

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