Quote:
Originally Posted by morethanpretty
Which is what I was arguing mainly with you. That should person's family pull their support emotional, financial, educational, etc. , especially your parents because they have responsibility to you, then by that action it shows their lack of love for you. Even if they don't agree with your lifestyle choice, your parents especially, have the responsibility to love you and support you in any way necessary. It doesn't matter if they agree or not, if its against their religion or not. No, perhaps a person should not be surprised if their family pulls support when they come out. That depends on the family, BUT that doesn't mean the family is not in the wrong. If the family is hurt by you being yourself in that way, then that is all on the family. They let themselves be hurt because they are too close minded to care that that is YOU, that you cannot act any other way and be a happy fulfilled person.
That has been all I have been saying, or trying to say at least.
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So what would you say then to my grandmother who divorced my grandfather because he was an alcoholic? She tried to stick it out and support his efforts to get sober, but in the end she couldn't take any more and gave him ultimatum: me and the kids or alcohol. He chose to keep drinking and she left. Was she in the wrong for ending her support? He was addicted to alcohol and could not "act any other way and be a happy fulfilled person". Should she have been infinitely tolerant and accepting of his addiction because that's who he was? Supporting him even though he did horrible things that alcoholics tend to do and chose not to seriously change his lifestyle?
Or how about this: my parents paid for my brother's university education. He was expelled for failing 3 semesters and hid this fact from my parents until the day before we were planning on driving down for the graduation ceremonies. My parents were understandably furious at him for lying to them and deceiving them, wasting so much of their time, money, emotional and academic support on someone who didn't care enough to go to class. This was 2 almost two years ago and now he works temp agency jobs in an economically depressed area and is unwilling to move because of his friends in the area. Should my parents now be willing to give him all that support they once gave if he started taking classes again? After he lied, deceived, and took advantage of their trust and support before? Why should we, his family, go that extra mile if he is unwilling to uphold his end of the bargain and not be lazy?
There are limitations to what people can tolerate and should be expected to tolerate, just as there are limitations to how much support one family members needs to extend to another depending upon the situation.