Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymous
I currently do not have time or money for therapy or counseling but we will see in the future.
My driver's seat window also was punched thrice---that was the best feeling I had in that situation. It felt damn good.
She was very scared. But I did not touch her.
I do have major anger problems. ... I honestly am in no situation to give up time to counseling or therapy or spend my dividends on it. What I can only do is internalize the feelings and keep my head on. Right?
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Anon, do you see your pattern of violence escalating in the three incidents you've recounted? You didn't touch her this time, but you've moved from pushing her, grabbing/shaking her, to destroying objects and punching windows in her presence and being, in your own words, 'scary violent'. And the scary violence 'felt damn good'. You seem to think/hope that being violent around your s.o. is not too bad as long as you don't touch her. Not so. The violence is still intimidation of her. It says, 'Look what happens when I get angry. Don't even think of making me angry.'
Your continued rationalization makes me worried for your s.o. Step by step, like the frog sitting in a pan of water on a stove, you're explaining away unacceptable behavior. Everything is a choice, including whether you give up time and dividends to get counseling. Please make the choice before a court makes it for you and you lose important things in your life. Good luck to both of you.