[Ibby]

Uh, I used gay cause tommy, in the song, is gay, as in he likes the cock. It's a glam ballad, and so the topic is suitably glam and ballad-y.

Take out the next-to-last verse? That's one of the most important, without it the story falls apart. Reread the song, thinking about it as a ballad, a story.


EDIT: You critiqued it yesterday? When? I don't see a critique...