What are the requirements to open an assisted living facility in florida?
 

I am currently in nursing school and I want to start taking the appropriate steps to open an assisted living facility.

Can anyone please tell me the first 10-20 steps to getting the business up and running?

We only have the knowledge to open and operate a hot dog stand in Florida. Will that help? Would you rather open a hot dog stand?

Yes, #1 would be move to the United States. :eyebrow:

I admit I've not an expert, but I'm thinking a fairly large chunk of capital is high up on the list.

#3 Find lots of rich incapacitated old people who have families who don't want to deal with them.

#4 Grind the old people up into hot dog meat. Hint: remove prosthesis (hips etc.) before processing.

here are the steps in order.....chronological order, that is.

1. Move to America ( bruce can see you )

2. Get a lot of money (steve must not be contradicted)

3. Find some old people.

4. Find some swamp land to purchase cheap.

5. Kill all the alligators and snakes

6. Get some more money

7. Find some new old people, because the ones you had have all died by now.

8. Bribe 3 of the 5 members of the local city council to smooth the way for your permits for construction.

9. Hire a General Contractor to build your facility

10. Get a LOT more money

11. Go ahead and fire the 1st GC right away. he's going to rob you blind, anyway.

12. Hire the 2nd GC, and show him pictures of 'the last GC that robbed you' (posed like a mob hit)- see the Stucci bros in 'White Men Cant Jump'

13. Hire an advertising company to come up with a placid sounding name

14. Hire someone to get more money all the time

15. Grease local politicians ( I dont know why, just do it)

16. When construction is complete, bribe the inspectors to approve it in spite of the code violations

17. Have a grand opening

18. Get some more Old people again......( maybe we should revisit steps 3 and 7)

19. Hire a security company to keep the old people from sneaking in young people

20. buy a golf cart and ride around like a king, baby.

:lol:

Or the old people from sneaking out.

"I'm cold, and frightened." [/grandpa on The Simpsons}

I hate it when Google searches return Cellar Relationship Thread posts when people input "assisted nursing facility requirements". I mean, Bruce and I are old, but fuuuck.

Damn, it's about time somebody started figuring out how things work.

And the award for most random question asked of a bunch of random strangers goes to .....

ASSISTED LIVING

yet another oxymoron

When you do get it together, make sure to put mossy orbs in the pool. They will definitely make your residents feel better. But eventually they will wind up with diabeeeetis.

.

lol...I almost posted that! :lol: