Getting a locksmith on the flat earth
 

I was locked out of my house on Tuesday.

I used google maps to find the locksmith closest to me, in Eagleville.

(Eagleville is three miles away.)

Called the number listed, and went through a series of ring-throughs until automation came on: select 1 if you are a new customer, 2 if you are a previous customer.

Ring-throughs again, to another automation: select 1 if you need immediate service, select 2 if you are a business with a contract.

Rings to a live human, who can barely speak English. He takes my name, address and telephone number. He cannot hear well enough for me to spell my last name. After he takes all my information, his "computer crashes" and he has to take it all again.

He then puts me on hold, and the hold music is a radio station. It plays some ads for places I'm not familiar with, and then announces that it's 101.5, Tampa Bay.

(Tampa Bay is 800 miles away.)

The guy comes back on to tell me that he has found a locksmith for me and located my address, and the locksmith will be at my house in 20 minutes, and will call 10 minutes out to verify. OK.

Wait 25 minutes, and the locksmith calls. The caller-id reports his area code as 702. Nevada.

(Nevada is 2000 miles away.)

In a thick Arabic accent, he asks for my cross-streets. He figures out where I am, apologizes for being late and says he'll be there in ten minutes. And sure enough he does show in ten more minutes, and proceeds to open the door in 5 seconds. As much as I've heard it takes a good locksmith only seconds to pick the house locks, it's always amazing to see. In his thick Arabic accent he again apologizes for being late, and explains that he had to drive up from Philly.

(Philly is 15 miles and one extremely crowded highway away).

The total price for the service is $149.

Sounds like globalization on a local level.

locked out?...what happened....was there a staple lodged in the screen door lock or something?

oooh that's so cool and inside because the n00bs won't know what you're talking about

Getting locked out is what happens to you when you only use remote garage door openers for 15 years, forget about your usual front door key, and then one day your power is out for an indefinite period of time.

why don't you go cuddle with spexxvet or robsterboy?

Because he'd have to take his dick out of your ass.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

yeah...i started it in this thread....sorry T. I am very weak.

I want to know how UT used google maps if he was locked out.
I have no doubt he is possessed of technological superpowers, but assuming his computers are inside...

But the story of technology being at once brilliant and stupid ... yeah that sounds plausible.

Not all the computers were inside.

plus, it says ip phones to me.

I was at work when I looked for a locksmith, but you know, I also have Google Maps on my Smartphone.

:thumbsup:

So now you've hidden a key, right?

Lumberjim, have you spent time in Turkey? That is the exact phrase they use to apologize for something.