Pies That Make You Angry
 

Peach.

always too mushy.

Pecan.

Minimal involvement of pecans; filled with unidentified goo.

Mud.

Such a disappointment.

nursery rhyme pies. full of live birds and plums and shit. and mincemeat! which doesn't have any meat! and gelid citrus pies with fake topping.

oooh, didn't know I was so full of pie angst!

I have nothing against any particular kind of pie, but I absolutely loathe meringue. (When I was a kid, Grandma Dallas would make two lemon pies and only put meringue on one of them.)

Good mincemeat has meat, not green tomatoes.

""homemade" apple pie that is, in fact, mass-produced with that crust that tastes like buttered cardboard and those fake-tasting apples. I'm looking at you, Perkins.

Pies that don't exist. One of our local pubs has a chalkboard behind the bar listing apple and cherry pie, a la mode if you like. But whenever I've asked for a slice, they are always 86'd.

The Pie that's boycotting the Cellar.

Grandma's rock!

I've always found pumpkin pie to be rather smarmy.

Apricot pie made with dried apricots is a jip.

pumpkin pie. wtf is that all about. pumpkins are for carving, not eating. yuck.

Shepherd's pie. Very skimpy on the shepherds.

My cheesburger pie makes me angry: angry with LOVE.

Other than that, apple pie is the only pie I like. I'll eat the occasional pumpkin but it doesn't really do it for me. Oh, and weird pies like chocolate mousse pies are good. French silk ice cream pie.

Cherry pie pisses me off. It looks like it should taste good, but I hate cherries. All that wonderful pie crust, ruined! My brother is convinced this makes me anti-american.

Pumpkin is good eating. Pumpkin baked, stewed, or stuffed, and pumpkin bread, pancakes, or muffins, are sweet.

I had a pumpkin pie but I dropped it, so now it's...




... squash. :haha:

pumpkin soup. yum...

Tomato pie always makes me angry that it isn't pizza.

Same for pumpkin scones.

Rutabaga pie? Seriously? What's next, brussels sprouts pie? Pea pie? Celery Pie?

brussel sprout and velveeta cobbler :yum:

Oh shit, you just dredged up a memory.

Spinach pie with brussel sprouts. It was in the regular rotation when I was a kid. (Which means we probably had it like 4 times total.) Yuck.

Looking back, I can only imagine the recipe was that you take a frozen pie shell, dump a bag of frozen brussel sprouts in it. Mix up some eggs in a bowl, and maybe throw a little cheese in too, and then dump a box of frozen spinach in as well. Pour this mixture over the brussel sprouts in the crust, and bake.

(makes face) my childhood bane was creamed spinach. No pie, but still yucky.

I'm confused. Are you complaining that your Grandma's rock pie makes you angry?

I don't understand either Monster or Shawnee here.

Or any necessity to loathe meringue. It ain't but egg whites, air, sugar and cream of tartar. I can't find an atrocity there no matter how hard I beat it. Wonder how Steve feels about soufflés.

Well, de gustibus... but the sole upside to this is there's all the more for me.

It is true one should not skimp on the pecans in pecan pie filling. But the dark Karo-syrup based goo is part of the charm. And it keeps the pecans on your fork.

I am of the opinion -- de gustibus etcetera -- that regular piecrust has no business in a Key lime pie, though: crumb crust, either graham or gingersnap, both of which are made the same way, cracker or cookie augmented with 1/4 cup sugar and stirred together with melted butter.

Creamed spinach would bake into a nice savory tart. Cheese on top, of course. And season the creaming to advantage -- little touch of Spike(tm) maybe.

Spinach quiche, anyone? Not yucky, but has crust and a decent chance of changing the minds of the spinach haters. Likewise, adding chopped spinach to quiche Lorraine.

I do like quiche.

Years ago there were a couple stupid books out: one about real women not pumping gas and the other about real men not eating quiche.

But now we know that UG likes quiche, and UG is a real man, so it only follows that some real men do eat quiche. :lol:

Many are named Steve and have track lighting, too.

Rhubarb/strawberry. I'm angry 'cause it's so delicious and I can't have it.

Is de gustibus what happens when you eat bean pie then take public transport? That would make me angry if I were sat behind you....

Bwaaaaahaaaaa!

Cow pies. I have yet to see one that included a single cow.

haggis!

haggis is not a pie.

hip Pies make me angry with their stinky-arsed rag-diapered offspring and body odor.

Cows are too expensive to use a whole one to make a single pie. Cow pies are just made from certain parts of the cow.

That's a load of shit.

yipeee-i-ay, Cow Patty!

I expect you'll be bitterly disappointed when you discover that cottage cheese does not contain any cottages. I know I was.

You're shittin' me.

I guess French Fries aren't french at all, either. :(

Well, wait until Taco Bell's new Haggis Chalupa Grande comes out. It's one step away from being a pie.

:lol:

You've been double-dipping at Starbucks this morning, haven't you?

If by "double-dipping at Starbucks" you mean "slowly going completely and irretrievably insane" then yes, yes I have been double dipping at Starbucks.

I was thinking more along the over-caffeinating lines, but whatevas.....

Only angry 'cause I ain't got one. :blush:

"What's for desert? Three deserts!"

LOOK at all that icing....makes my teeth hurt.

Yay, Shawnee! Today you're making sense. (You're probably prettier than me, too.)

I remember that pair of literary abortions. I'd growl to anyone who'd listen that real men didn't let smartass morons dictate their diet.

Lorraine may be the quiche más macho.

Pumping gas is a given.

Oh, these look good. Inside out apple pies. :yum:

http://www.tinyurbankitchen.com/2010...pple-pies.html

Mince, definitely mince. It's not a proper pie if it's got meat in it. I don't even know what's in mincemeat, nor do I wish to. Science Fiction films of the Fifties and Sixties have taught me a lot, most importantly, that there are some things man was not meant to know.

Shepard's Pie is clearly the result of some freaky British word usage. No flaky pastry crust there, it's not pie.

And before somebody points it out, potpie is a compound word, not having any fruity pie-like qualities, rather like monkeyfucking doesn't actually involve either monkeys or fucking.

Red sky at night, shepherds delight.
Red sky in the morning, shepherds warning.
Minced meat and mashed potato, shepherds pie.

Hope that clears it up for you.

I am angry at mincemeat (note no gap) pies.
They are Christmas fodder and therefore already in the shops.
Any gathering offering "refreeshments" held after about... oh, tomorrow - will have these and pretty much nothing else.

Not that I turn up to events just because free food is offered of course.
Okay, I do.
And I don't want mince-sodding-pies.
Especially NOT homemade - bleurgh! I'm sure you are a lovely person but you are NOT a pastry chef! And I'm not a great fan of pastry even when it's done well (Pieminister Pies excepted, because then it is done VERY well))

I've no doubt I'll be subjected to these at school over the next two months.
No. I don't like.
Sausage rolls, okay.
Peanuts at a far push.
Mince pies - stuff them where the wassailers don't go.

Mincemeat. Minced meat. There is a difference.;)

Mince pies rock, especially homemade with homemade mincemeat. I hated them as a kid, though..... and Mr Kipling's mince pies make me angry -that pastry is for pants.

The suet helps them slide down easier, after a big turkey day dinner. :yum:

The only pie that pisses me off is the pumpkin one that I tried to make a week ago and the crust burned.

I've got another one in the oven right now and i'm trying again with a better crust, waiting to see if the sonofabitch is going to mess up again. hopefully not, and then i'll have my first successful pie :D

never been much of a baker, but it's pretty fun. I've made tolerably good bread a couple times, and I've also got some cookie bars in the oven right now.

EDIT: Yeah, ok, this pie is pissing me off too. the crust isn't burnt yet but it's taking like 2x longer than it should to cook properly in the middle, and my oven thermometer says it's the right temp in there and everything. argh. grrr.

Good luck, wet pies are tricky to get the center done without burning the fringe. How about wrapping some foil around the edge?

Har-pies make me angry. I work with one.

Christmas mince pies here are done with minced fruit.

I am regretfully tolerant that the Cellar Pie is still absent. I hope she comes back soon.

"Mincemeat" pie is become an etymological appendix to the pie itself -- a trace of what once was. Well, there's an old-school mince-pie recipe in The Most Recent Recipe Thread, which you'll need to scoop out of ancient times now unless somebody Bumps it.

Pie for me does not have to be a sweet dessert. I'm plenty happy with it being savory, gravied, and pastry crusted as an entrée. It's very medieval...

actually i changed crusts and it worked out great. :D it still took like twice as long to cook as it should have, but it ended up being good in the end, so I'll take what I can get.

I was told that sweet potato pie, for some reason, cooks better than pumpkin, while tasting almost identical. i may have to give it a shot next.

One of my foremen at Boeing, owned a rib joint in North Philly. Southern style ribs with all the fixin's, and sweet potato pie that would knock your socks off. :yum:

Sweet potato pie tastes yummily like sweet potatoes. Pumpkin Pie tastes of awfulness with cinnamon, cloves, and allspice added to cover the taste. Just because they're both orange doesn't make them taste the same.

(Yes, I am extremely prejudiced against pumpkin pies. Not to the point of being angry, though, which is why I hadn't mentioned them before. Coconut cream makes me angry because it's a pie and I can't eat any of it)

Please don't say "with all the fixin's"