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-   -   Best Family Story (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=22632)

Pie 04-30-2010 02:22 PM

Most of my female ancestors died in childbirth. Most of my male ancestors were priests.
I am an atheist, and I'm not procreating. I'm such a disappointment.

glatt 04-30-2010 02:23 PM

Most of my ancestors were stillborn or sterile.

lumberjim 04-30-2010 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt (Post 652695)
I understand that this one Mayflower ancestor that Sarah and I share has millions of other descendants. Exact number is unknown.

MANWHORE!

Nirvana 04-30-2010 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gravdigr (Post 652698)
Genghis Khan.


Prolific bastard wasn't he? ;)

squirell nutkin 04-30-2010 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster (Post 652687)
My mother claims we're descendants of Jesus.

That would make you my sister in law or something.

squirell nutkin 04-30-2010 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt (Post 652750)
Most of my ancestors were stillborn or sterile.

:scratches head:

lumberjim 04-30-2010 03:16 PM

There is a vague story about a Baron in my family being ousted for a dalliance with a scullery maid. Jinx is skeptical.

Sheldonrs 04-30-2010 04:09 PM

My grandfather on my mother's side help found the Hebrew Butcher's Union in New York. His son, my Uncle was president of it for awhile.

Clodfobble 04-30-2010 04:24 PM

You know that red unicorn logo for Mobil gas? My grandfather designed it.


That's about as far back as my genealogy knowledge goes, because I find it all terribly boring.

Nirvana 04-30-2010 04:27 PM

Um wasn't that a Pegasus?

Sheldonrs 04-30-2010 04:33 PM

Here's an interesting family tree story:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/04/30/ann...ex.html?hpt=C1

Sheldonrs 04-30-2010 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nirvana (Post 652778)
Um wasn't that a Pegasus?

Only because the horn never worked.

:D

LittleWolf 04-30-2010 04:34 PM

One January, the fate of the dried up chirstmas tree was being decided by my mother.

She figures that the best thing would be to burn it up in the chimney, and knowing full well that dry pine fires get a little out of control, she handed each my sister and I a water atomizer.

Chopping up the tree would take too long and make a mess, so she just shoved the whole tree into the small living room chimney, trusting that if anything got out of hand, we always had the atomizers, which work great controlling the average chimney fire.

Needless to say, the atomizers were no match and the whole thing was consumed in a few minutes. Luckily the houses were we lived are all made out of obsidian and stone, so all we had to suffer through was a charred and unsightly ceiling. It was quite ironic seeing as that in my family, she's the only one with any common sense.

Cloud 04-30-2010 04:35 PM

1) I was told that one of my ancestors was Daniel Boone's brother, Squire Boone. I have been unable to trace this, but it's entirely plausible. Right people and place.

2) My great grandfather was hit by a train--three times. The last time it took him several days to die.

3) A cautionary tale told at every Christmastime. When my father was a boy, in Kentucky in the early 19teens, he wanted a new saddle for Christmas. He wanted it bad. One day before Christmas, he was snooping around in the barn where he wasn't supposed to and there it was--a brand new saddle, just his size. Too bad his folks found out--he never received it. Made quite an impression on me, because the pain and disappointment in his voice 50 years later were still there.

4) Whenever there were odd noises or little things missing around the house, I was always told "Mr. Nelson" did it. "Mr. Nelson" was an imaginary person who lived in the attic. It wasn't until years later I realized that Nelson was a family name, and there might have been a real Mr. Nelson back in the day when they hid retarded/crazy people -- up in the attics.

5) Oh, yeah. And we're "Orangemen." No matter that we'd been emigrated from the Old Country for over 300 years. (rolls eyes)

Sheldonrs 04-30-2010 04:42 PM

"2) My great grandfather was hit by a train--three times. The last time it took him several days to die."

How many days did it take him to die the first two times?

:eek:


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