Clodfobble Thursday Dec 20 04:27 PMDecember 20, 2007: Sex sells!
Despite appearances, what you see here is not your basic softcore goth porn (well, at least not intentionally.) It is, in fact, a promotional sales item. Not for the lingerie, not for the shoes... for the coffin! The Italian undertaker firm Cofanifunebri has released their 2008 corporate calendar, featuring sexy models draped across their merchandise.
"Coffins are consumer goods like any other things, so I sell in the same way as any other consumer goods are sold," said owner Maurizio Matteucci. "The calendar is very popular."
"It is good marketing, but it is also a way to play down such a serious subject and to smile."
Drax Thursday Dec 20 04:40 PMWhy am I thinking that her vampyre lover is in there?
classicman Thursday Dec 20 04:43 PMBoy Zen and Shawnee are gonna have a field day with this one.
glatt Thursday Dec 20 05:23 PMIf I had a terminal illness, and was making all the final arrangements for myself in order to not be a burden on my family, I can see getting a kick out of this advertising. But if my loved one died and I was frantically trying to line all the stuff up on short notice, I would be less receptive.
Drax Thursday Dec 20 06:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by glatt
If I had a terminal illness, and was making all the final arrangements for myself in order to not be a burden on my family, I can see getting a kick out of this advertising. But if my loved one died and I was frantically trying to line all the stuff up on short notice, I would be less receptive.
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Gloomy Glatt.
If I see this ad on TV, then I'd be pissed.
glatt Thursday Dec 20 08:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drax
Gloomy Glatt.
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Gloomy? The topic of the thread is coffin sales.
Tink Thursday Dec 20 10:01 PMPretty fancy coffin. Cremation for me. Throw me in the ocean so I can travel.
xoxoxoBruce Thursday Dec 20 10:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by glatt
But if my loved one died and I was frantically trying to line all the stuff up on short notice, I would be less receptive.
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That's what happens to most people and how many people know the name of even one coffin maker?
This way they get the brand before the public in a upbeat manner. Then when the frantic time is dropped on you, one name might prompt a glimmer in the back of your head.
I'll bet there normal sales tools, for the frantic people, are much more subdued.
Drax Thursday Dec 20 10:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by glatt
Gloomy? The topic of the thread is coffin sales.
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What i mean is that you're not seeing the fun in the picture.
classicman Thursday Dec 20 10:26 PMAdmit it Drax - you already bought one just cuz of the hot chick.
Clodfobble Thursday Dec 20 10:28 PMThe whole thing reminded me of Six Feet Under. During the first couple of shows they had some spoof ads that imitated the Gap ads of the time--about a dozen young people in khakis and white shirts doing a well-choreographed song and dance about mortician tools and funeral home supplies.
binky Thursday Dec 20 10:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tink
Pretty fancy coffin. Cremation for me. Throw me in the ocean so I can travel.
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I've read that you can be cremated and shot up in a firework-thats the way I want to go
jinx Thursday Dec 20 11:00 PMI wanna be jewelry.
Drax Thursday Dec 20 11:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by classicman
Admit it Drax - you already bought one just cuz of the hot chick.
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Don't.
regular.joe Thursday Dec 20 11:48 PMAm I the only one reminded of the scene in the movie "Saint Elmo's Fire"? Where the guy has a coffin in his room, just in case a hot chick is around to have sex on the coffin? A veritable chick magnet. Ever since that flick I've fantasized about having sex with a hot chick on a coffin. Not all the time, just every now and then. I made out with a hot chick in a grave yard once, it was coooool.
Scriveyn Friday Dec 21 04:08 AM
you can browse through their calendars 2003-2008 here: http://www.cofanifunebri.com/cofanifunebri-mania.htm
Surprisingly no pictures of the interior design of the merchandise.
classicman Friday Dec 21 09:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jinx
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There was a thread about that somewhere.... hmm.
classicman Friday Dec 21 09:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drax
Don't.
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sorry - bad joke.
ZenGum Friday Dec 21 09:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by classicman
Boy Zen and Shawnee are gonna have a field day with this one.
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That's a pretty stiff challenge. I wasn't a wake when it was posted. Of corpse, I'll do my best, and if I get with the plot and get interred swing of of things, it should be bury easy.
Nah, I don't have much here. Shawnee? Shall we make it a his and hearse thing?
Shawnee123 Friday Dec 21 10:05 AMDon't do it, Zen, it's a plot by classic to get us inter trouble. I understand, I bereaved him before, too, but the fact remains he does not urn our trust. Inquest for a really good guy, I aspired to good but cot evil. Disinter evil is the marker of our demise.
barefoot serpent Friday Dec 21 11:38 AMAfter Zen + Shawnee I want one so long as it revolves by itself and the occupant doesn't have to.
LJ Friday Dec 21 11:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jinx
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that's pretty cool. i wonder why the yellow ones are so much cheaper than the other colors?
xoxoxoBruce Friday Dec 21 12:04 PMThey're made in China.
LJ Friday Dec 21 12:53 PMoh no you di'int!
Gravdigr Friday Dec 21 01:49 PMLOL @ Zen & Shawnee!!!
I thought maybe the yellow ones were for the pimps. It ain't easy burying a pimp.
YellowBolt Friday Dec 21 05:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LJ
that's pretty cool. i wonder why the yellow ones are so much cheaper than the other colors?
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I think it's because artificial diamonds usually turn out yellow rather than colorless unless you use more expensive processes. And differently-colored diamonds require chemical doping.
monster Saturday Dec 22 11:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce
They're made in China.
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that was someone else laughing. honest.
TheMercenary Saturday Dec 22 12:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jinx
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that is very cool.
monster Saturday Dec 22 12:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by barefoot serpent
After Zen + Shawnee I want one so long as it revolves by itself and the occupant doesn't have to.
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you want one after Zen and Shawnee have had a turn on it? eeeew.
TheMercenary Saturday Dec 22 12:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scriveyn
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And who thought Italian chicks could look so hot.
TheMercenary Saturday Dec 22 12:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by barefoot serpent
After Zen + Shawnee, I want one so long
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Aliantha Saturday Dec 22 06:34 PMWhen you get cremated, the coffin goes up in smoke too, and you still need one for the service.
I would imagine that the coffin maker sells his wares to funeral homes, so the calendar is for people already in the industry. Probably not intended for the end user at all, unless you happen to be one of those freaky people who like to plan out their funeral way ahead of time (like my recently passed grandmother-in-law).
Griff Saturday Dec 22 07:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aliantha
When you get cremated, the coffin goes up in smoke too, and you still need one for the service.
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That is subject to local laws. We confuse tradition with law sometimes, which gives the undertaker an edge. There is a growing movement toward do it yourself coffins. You could use it for an end table, wet bar, or entertainment center for a few years first... I bet you could be torched in a cardboard box.
TheMercenary Sunday Dec 23 08:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aliantha
When you get cremated, the coffin goes up in smoke too, and you still need one for the service.
I would imagine that the coffin maker sells his wares to funeral homes, so the calendar is for people already in the industry. Probably not intended for the end user at all, unless you happen to be one of those freaky people who like to plan out their funeral way ahead of time (like my recently passed grandmother-in-law).
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I don't think that is correct in the US. When creamated only the body gets the fire so as not to mix the ash of all the other stuff with the casket.
Quote:
A body ready to be cremated is first placed in a container for cremation, which can be a simple corrugated cardboard box or a wooden casket. Most casket manufacturers provide a line of caskets specially built for cremation. Another option is a cardboard box that fits inside a wooden shell designed to look like a traditional casket. After the funeral service the interior box is removed from the shell before cremation, permitting the shell to be reused. Funeral homes may also offer rental caskets, which are traditional caskets used only for the duration of the services, after which the body is transferred to another container for cremation. Rental caskets are sometimes designed with removable beds and liners, replaced after each use.
In the UK, the body is not removed from the coffin, and is not placed into a container as described above. The body is cremated with the coffin, which is why all UK coffins that are to be used for cremation must be made of combustible material. The Code Of Cremation Practice forbids the opening of the coffin once it has arrived at the crematorium, and rules stipulate it must be cremated on the same day as the funeral service. Therefore, if a corpse is to be cremated in the UK, it will be done so in the same coffin as it is placed in at the funeral parlour. Jewellery is strongly advised to be removed before the coffin is sealed, as the coffin cannot be opened once it has been received at the crematorium. After the cremation process has been completed, the remains are passed through a magnetic field to remove any bits of metal, which will be interred elsewhere in the crematorium grounds.
In Australia, the deceased are cremated in a coffin supplied by the undertaker. Reusable or cardboard coffins are unknown. If cost is an issue, a plain, particle-board coffin known in the trade as a 'chippie' will be offered. Handles (if fitted) are plastic and approved for use in a cremator. Coffins vary from unfinished particle board (covered with a velvet pall if there is a service) to solid timber. Most are veneered particle board.
Cremations can be 'delivery only' with no preceding chapel service at the crematorium (although a church service may have been held) or preceded by a service in one of the crematorium chapels. Delivery-only allows crematoriums to schedule cremations to make best use of the cremators, perhaps by holding the body overnight in a refrigerator. As a result a lower fee is applicable. Delivery-only may be referred to by industry jargon such as 'west chapel service'.
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from wiki:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cremation
TheMercenary Sunday Dec 23 08:20 AMHeh!
Check out the wiki link above. In each picture of the guy doing the cremation he has a cig in his mouth, even when above open ashes of the persons remains!
xoxoxoBruce Sunday Dec 23 08:51 AMThat cremulator looks like a garbage disposal to me.
glatt Sunday Dec 23 09:12 AMThese Ecopod coffins look pretty cool to me. Still too expensive.
Griff Sunday Dec 23 10:30 AMVery cool... if you leave out the GW bit of putting it on a plane to fly it to the States.
I'd like a tube of good soil with an apple tree growing out of the top. That should be easy to pull off.
TheMercenary Sunday Dec 23 10:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Griff
Very cool... if you leave out the GW bit of putting it on a plane to fly it to the States.
I'd like a tube of good soil with an apple tree growing out of the top. That should be easy to pull off.
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Yea, I wonder what those apples would eventually taste like?
monster Sunday Dec 23 11:05 AMchicken. duh.
Sundae Monday Dec 24 12:49 PMI think you mean long pig.
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