The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Nothingland

Nothingland Something about nothing - game threads, diversions, time-wasters

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-28-2013, 01:51 PM   #1
Big Sarge
Werepandas - lurking in your shadows
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: In the Deep South
Posts: 3,408
Teaching how to drink beer

Elizabeth and I have a quandary. We have been trying to teach her chickens to drink beer, but we are having very little success. These are the same transgendered chickens I have discussed earlier. Does anyone have any ideas?

BTW, we have been conducting some fascinating psychological experiments. I believe we are making some outstanding discoveries in chicken psychology.
__________________
Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Big Sarge is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2013, 03:02 PM   #2
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
Have you tried German dance music?
__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2013, 03:58 PM   #3
Griff
still says videotape
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
I won't ask why but have you mixed it with corn meal?
__________________
If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you.
- Louis D. Brandeis
Griff is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2013, 04:28 PM   #4
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
What about a number six? First, you pull a mike the headless chicken on them, then get a funnel!

others, myself included, have had great success with this recipe.
__________________
Be Just and Fear Not.
BigV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2013, 08:26 PM   #5
sexobon
I love it when a plan comes together.
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Sarge View Post
... We have been trying to teach her chickens to drink beer ... I believe we are making some outstanding discoveries in chicken psychology.
Put the beer on the other side of the road.
sexobon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-28-2013, 10:01 PM   #6
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
Seems like an obvious solution right there
__________________
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
lumberjim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2013, 02:42 AM   #7
Sundae
polaroid of perfection
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
Hide the beer away. Lock it away if possible. Provide the chickens with rudimentary tools.

Worked for every teen party I ever went to.
I'm sure escapees from Colditz learned their skills trying to break into their parents' secret stashes.

Anyway, photos pleeze.
Elizabeth and chickens and you (probably best not to photog beer in case the chickens get internet savvy)
__________________
Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac
Sundae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2013, 09:45 AM   #8
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
But those kids at the party weren't chicken, "I'm NOT CHICKEN I TELL YOU!!"
__________________
Be Just and Fear Not.
BigV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2013, 03:00 PM   #9
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigV View Post
What about a number six?!
Uh...That ain't a Number Six.
__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2013, 10:33 AM   #10
Big Sarge
Werepandas - lurking in your shadows
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: In the Deep South
Posts: 3,408
Colditz - I haven't thought about that in years. Great book.

We have learned a few things. You have to open the bottles for the chickens. They will not drink it straight or eat it mixed with scratch. The secret is bread. Soak the bread in beer and they love it. Interesting note, after they have their beer they sit around and "growl". No clucking or crowing, only strange growls.

Two questions:
1. How much beer do they need to consume before they produce beer infused eggs?
2. What happens if they become alcoholics? Are there any programs?
__________________
Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Big Sarge is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2013, 11:09 AM   #11
Lola Bunny
Junior Master Dwellar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 2,728
you're really bored, aren't ya, Sarge?
Lola Bunny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2013, 11:21 AM   #12
Big Sarge
Werepandas - lurking in your shadows
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: In the Deep South
Posts: 3,408
Yep. I'm rather lost without the military. I don't seem to have an identity anymore. I have one slim chance of getting a deployment to a non-austere area for 6 months, but it is a hail Mary pass and would be the very last one. Without the military or police, I have no friends or life
__________________
Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Big Sarge is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2013, 11:22 AM   #13
Sundae
polaroid of perfection
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
You have friends.
And you have family.

Therefore you have a life.
__________________
Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac
Sundae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2013, 11:45 AM   #14
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
Life is what you make it. Somebody said that. The key word here is make.

Make your life, don't wait for it.
__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2013, 11:46 AM   #15
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
Hell, if it don't suit ya, don't even accept it.
__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:46 AM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.