The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Health

Health Keeping your body well enough to support your head

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-28-2020, 08:30 PM   #1
anonymous
Operations Operative
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: in hiding
Posts: 578
I need to whine

I'm sure my ID is obvious, but please allow me to stay anon to protect my offspring. And me, maybe...

In addition to losing my job (and health insurance for me and my 3 college kids) this month, I learned today my 18yo son is being dumped by his (very expensive out-of-network so completely out of pocket 1/4 of my income) DBT therapy center for being distracted, disruptive and uninvested in his therapy (which hasn't made a blind bit of difference). There is nowhere else to go. His last place/psych couldn't help and recommended DBT. the two other possibilities for this are also out-of-network and have major waiting lists (we waited about 4 months for this one) His diagnosis is ADHD, spectrum and depression. He's aggressive, frequently fails to take his medication, lies blatantly, is hooked online..... I am not perfect but I don't need or deserve this and I really can't take any more. he's barely scraping through college (no surprise, wouldn't be doing that well if not for my reluctant occasional intervention), He was fired from his p/t lifeguard job within weeks....

MAKE IT STOP. I surrender. I failed, I give up. Whatever it is I need to do/say, I just want it to stop. I swear I'm not a bad person, I don't deserve it. Even if I were a bad person, I'm sure I must have already endured enough punishment the last couple of years.

Ok done whining, thank you. Ignore me, carry on....
anonymous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2020, 09:36 PM   #2
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
I'm sorry, anon. It sucks and you have every right to be sick of it.
Clodfobble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2020, 12:43 AM   #3
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
Your right enough is enough, you're to be commended for not being in a straight jacket. What's on the menu for next week, maybe something smaller like a bunion or something.

I think you mentioned some time ago he was a problem, taking a much larger share of your attention than the others when it came to schoolwork. Has he gotten worse or just reaching the age and point in life where it's most important to be on the ball?

You're an achiever, I get the impression the other kids are too. It may come to a point where he just hears a different drummer and you can't do anything about it. The one thing that's most important for you to do is understand this is not your fault, you did not fail. He's an almost adult human and you know what they're like. He's your son and you will always love him, but you may not like him.
__________________
The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2020, 06:31 AM   #4
Griff
still says videotape
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
I'm sorry anom. You can't live his life for him and it sucks that he won't put in the time on himself.
__________________
If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you.
- Louis D. Brandeis
Griff is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2020, 10:22 AM   #5
limey
Encroaching on your decrees
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland
Posts: 7,016
Oh fuckitty fuck fuckington mc fuckdoodledoo!
But what Bruce says is right, mebbe this boy runs differently to y'alls.
If the therapy was making no difference then perhaps that's why he was uninvested in it. Keep safe from the aggression and the lies and try to let him do his own thing for a bit, while you get on with yours?
Oh, and you ARE perfect
__________________
Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of
limey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2020, 05:46 PM   #6
anonymous
Operations Operative
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: in hiding
Posts: 578
It was easier when I had a partner in crime. It was all easier. I could've leaned on them, Healthinsurance would not have been an issue and assholeboy did not dare behave the way he does now :/ As the store went to 50% off today, I was consolidating stuff and found myself thinking "ooh, I could get one of the super expensive craft beers for partner-in-crime as a treat... oh wait....
anonymous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2020, 06:48 PM   #7
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
dammit
Undertoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2020, 08:37 PM   #8
glatt
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
I hear what you’re saying. I would whine too.
glatt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2020, 08:39 PM   #9
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
you guys rock. This is such a nice community. hang in there anon, you got this
__________________
The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
monster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2020, 08:49 PM   #10
fargon
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: La Crosse, WI
Posts: 8,924
You deserve a good LOUD Primal Scream!!! Several Times.
__________________
Annoy the ones that ignore you!!!
I live a blessed life
I Love my Country, I Fear the Government!!!
Heavily medicated for the good of mankind.
fargon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2020, 10:03 PM   #11
anonymous
Operations Operative
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: in hiding
Posts: 578
I just had to kick him out. He's staying at his brother's tonight
anonymous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2020, 10:44 PM   #12
sexobon
I love it when a plan comes together.
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
Read this; then, go down to the third entry here and note that it mentions landlord/tenant issues.
sexobon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2020, 11:59 PM   #13
anonymous
Operations Operative
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: in hiding
Posts: 578
Thank you, a good heads up. However, I have a right to be safe from violence.
anonymous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2020, 12:14 AM   #14
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
I was reading a story about a woman who spent years taking care of AIDs victims during the last few months because their parents wouldn't.

But one Father said this...
Quote:
“Are you going to desert your son? I don’t care what he did. He could have gone out and murdered people. He’s still your son. You may not like what he does, but you love him.”
You're doing it right, Anon, it may not feel like it sometimes but you are. You love him and owe it to him and to Beast, to let him know he's fucking up. It may sink in or may not but you know you've tried your best.
__________________
The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2020, 06:24 AM   #15
Griff
still says videotape
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
It could be that it's just time. You do have the right to be free from violence. Peace Anom you did your best.
__________________
If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you.
- Louis D. Brandeis
Griff is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
cheez whiz


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:36 AM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.