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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 12-05-2004, 02:57 PM   #61
cjjulie
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We do both the tooth fairy and santa. No harm done. It is all part of being a kid.
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Old 12-06-2004, 09:40 AM   #62
ladysycamore
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*chuckling*

I was just having a flashback of when I told my parents that there isn't any Santa. Yes, I said, *I* told THEM, not the other way around. :p

Basically, it was all about process of elimination.

Ok, so the story basically says that Santa would ride across the sky in a sleigh pulled by reindeers (and one with a red nose even!). And that he would deliver toys to all the good little girls and boys all over the world...in one night! Wow! And he would do all of this by sliding down the chimney.

Ok, here's the conclusion I cam to after thinking about all of that:

1) Just the thought of this dude flying in a sleigh didn't seem..."right" to me. (and yes, I thought that at the age of 8!). Yeah, yeah..magic..blah blah...

2) Delivery..all in one night???? Even UPS isn't that good...lol! And as far as "good" boys and girls...oh come on. You know that there were times when you were not as "good" as you should have been close to Christmas time.

3) A chimney? We didn't have no damned chimney! OR a fireplace!

4) Saw my dad one year putting the presents under the tree.

So,that was that. I told my parents the next day at breakfast what I had seen and what conclusion I came to. LOL, I think my dad was relieved a bit that he didn't have to tell me.

And, of course, they didn't have to tell me about the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc. either.
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Old 06-24-2007, 07:29 PM   #63
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Originally Posted by lumberjim View Post
party poopers. you wait until your kids are a little older. you'll be lying your natural ass off to them. mark my words.....MARK THEM, I SAY!
Sorry to drag this up from the dead, but Case and I were talking about something else which prompted me to go looking up this thread.

LJ, you were right. I suppose I don't actively encourage a belief in Santa, fairies of various sorts, and anthropomorphic animals, I don't exactly discourage it either. Why? Because it's almost as much fun for me as it is for the boy.
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Old 06-24-2007, 07:57 PM   #64
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Quote:
Originally Posted by perth
Sorry to drag this up from the dead, but Case and I were talking about something else which prompted me to go looking up this thread.

LJ, you were right. I suppose I don't actively encourage a belief in Santa, fairies of various sorts, and anthropomorphic animals, I don't exactly discourage it either. Why? Because it's almost as much fun for me as it is for the boy.
but more because it's more fun for them this way.


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Originally Posted by lumberjim View Post
but there IS a good reason. it's FUN to believe in Santa. Dont tell me you didnt enjoy christmas eve more than anything you could imagine.
think of it. You're 6, and you're wearing your footy pajamas. there's a fire. The pine from the tree and the smell from the fire combine to create a smell that you will forever associate with christmas, and joy, and comfort. you've been stringing popcorn, and drinking hot chocolate while watching the 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' old school cartoon (you kow the one; with burl Ives as frosty) Mom has a batch of cookies going to leave out for Santa, and you suddenly remember the reindeer, and dash to the fridge to get a carrot for Rudolph. While the cookies bake, you all pile onto the couch and Mom or Dad reads "T'was the Night Before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse."

damn, i got chiils!

It's all built up around Santa coming, and Magic, and anticipation! AS a kid, this is the biggest night of the whole year. and a year is a long damn time when you're 6.

or you can just tell your kids that exchanging gifts is a tradition, and no, you can't open any of them until December 25th. now get your soggy little ass off my carpet with those shoes. "Honey! Dinner's ready!"
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Old 06-24-2007, 08:34 PM   #65
skysidhe
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Ok, is it just me (probably is), but is this being taken a little too seriously? Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are NOT the kinds of things that will fuck up your kid if you enjoy the holidays with any of the three. It's not like telling your kid they're yours if they're really adopted, or anything major. It's all in good fun. Kids like to play make-believe--being able to play make-believe, as a matter of fact, is an essential part of a child's mental and emotional development.

I'm not understanding the hoohah over it.


Sidhe

exactly! Kids are hard wired for make believe!


Why have we reached a time in our history where everything has to be 'proper' and politically correct?

You know kids of the past got over fairy tales and the folklore of their country. People have needed fiction from the begining of time.

Imagine having no fiction books,no movies and no sitting around the campfire telling ghost stories. ho hum! Kids need them especially in troubled times. It gives them a release for their minds. That was the original intent of these storys. I don't regret having mine.

LJ paints the perfect picture. How can anyone have related to that felt any kind of bitterness? I think it's sad when people want to take magic away. Good for you too warch and cyber wolf for keeping magic alive!

Last edited by skysidhe; 06-24-2007 at 08:48 PM.
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Old 06-24-2007, 09:02 PM   #66
Ibby
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Intentionaly deceiving children without a good reason is horribly wrong. When kids eventually find out their parents have been perpetuating a fantasy and fucking with their heads, I think some measure of respect and trust in the parents is lost.

But of course it depends on the degree to which the truth was covered up. If kids know the truth and participate in the fantasy anyway, then there's no harm in that.
Now I know that this post is ancient, but... finding out that youve outwitted your parents and proven them wrong, that youve figured out conclusively that they WERE lying to you, rocks. You feel so... vindicated.

Or maybe I was just a devil-child.
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Old 06-24-2007, 09:10 PM   #67
skysidhe
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Lady Sidhe had the handle on easing young minds into reality.

There WAS a Santa Claus at one time. It is love in your heart.

There IS a reason for the easter bunny and the christmas tree although not Christian ones. Knowlege is power so ease them into the customs...and replace it or keep it.

Making traditions a family affair about what is kept and what is not in the teen years as I am experimenting with. One thing that never changes is that Christmas cut out cookies are powerful medicine!
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Old 06-24-2007, 09:31 PM   #68
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One nice thing about The Cellar is being able to go back and laugh hysterically at stuff you said years ago.

I've reread a lot of the things I said during the 'baby is coming/baby is here' time-frame. If I could go back in time and tell my then-self one thing, it would be this:

"You don't know. You can't know. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best, but know damn well that all your planning is nothing but a rough draft. It doesn't matter that you know nothing about being a dad, it matters that you care to know. Your child's personality will dictate your parenting style, not vice-versa.

Also: burp cloths are not a 'nice thing to have'. They're a necessity."
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Old 06-24-2007, 09:42 PM   #69
skysidhe
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One nice thing about The Cellar is being able to go back and laugh hysterically at stuff you said years ago.


hahah I was wondering why ONE thread captured the attention of so many 'old timers' I was feeling happy for LJ.

haha ..oh boy
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Old 06-25-2007, 12:30 AM   #70
xoxoxoBruce
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You're all full of shit. There is so a Santa Claus and he brings me presents every year.

Well, he leaves 'em at my Mom's to save time but he still brings 'em, it says so right on the tags.
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Old 06-25-2007, 07:36 AM   #71
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Parents who stress over the "lying" aspect of the fantasy of Santa, tooth fairy, etc are skipping over the chance to have some great times with their kids when they are still young enough to be both cute and fun.
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Old 06-25-2007, 10:27 AM   #72
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skysidhe View Post
You know kids of the past got over fairy tales and the folklore of their country. People have needed fiction from the begining of time.

Imagine having no fiction books,no movies and no sitting around the campfire telling ghost stories. ho hum! Kids need them especially in troubled times. It gives them a release for their minds. That was the original intent of these storys.
The original intent of folktales and fairytales was as teaching stories ... they serve a useful purpose in terms of modelling correct and incorrect behavior as well as the consequences. Doesn't matter whether the story is Little Red Riding Hood or one of the stories about Coyote and his wandering penis.
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Old 06-25-2007, 10:59 AM   #73
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First, I believe it is every parent's right to raise their children according to their own belief system, including whether or not to teach them about Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, or other cultural ideas.

Secondly, I personally feel it's kind of a shame when parents don't include mythical figures and stories in their personal teaching system. Kids are different than adults, and you can't always impose what to adults are rational belief systems. It takes some of the fun out of being a kid. And kids WANT to believe.

My grandson was told at a young age that there was no Santa Claus. He would tell everyone, very superiorly, at about age 5, that there was no Santa Claus. We had to keep him away from his littler cousins at one point, because their parents did not want the illusion shattered.

Oddly, after a change in circumstances, a change in stepfather, and a couple more years, that same child got all excited about Santa Clause last Christmas, even after he knew for sure, that Santa Claus wasn't real. Like I said, kids want to believe, they want to be part of the fun and the shared cultural excitement.
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Old 06-25-2007, 12:16 PM   #74
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That sounds like evidence in favor of honesty. He can enjoy the fun of Santa without the lying.
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Old 06-25-2007, 02:38 PM   #75
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We do both, it is important for both the encouragement of imagination and for their ability to learn to question authority. Something I'm teaching him all the time.
Finally, it's good fun.
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