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Old 07-22-2010, 11:22 AM   #76
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
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I will be honest with myself and others today
I will see things as they are
I will do the things that need to be done
I will act like the man I want to become



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Old 07-22-2010, 11:35 AM   #77
Cicero
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This meditation is completely different when I try it-inpublic.
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Old 07-22-2010, 11:35 AM   #78
bbro
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Good Mantra
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Old 07-22-2010, 12:53 PM   #79
Gravdigr
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ATTN LumberJim: Do something that makes you laugh.

Right now!

I dare ya.

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These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
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Old 07-22-2010, 12:56 PM   #80
classicman
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Very good Jim - I like that
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Old 07-22-2010, 01:07 PM   #81
Trilby
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gravdigr View Post
ATTN LumberJim: Do something that makes you laugh.

Right now!

I dare ya.

In AA that's known as rule #62:

Don't take yourself so seriously.
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Old 07-22-2010, 01:45 PM   #82
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That is awesome LJ!
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Old 07-22-2010, 02:35 PM   #83
Stormieweather
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My biggest enemy in recovering from my addictions was my own brain. Oh I could argue my willpower into submission like none other! Such reasonable arguements too!

No one will know. (I will)
It's just this once. (It won't be)
It's not hurting anyone. (It's hurting ME)
I can't go without. (Yes I can)
I'll do better tomorrow. (Do better NOW)
I need this. (No, I don't)
It's just ___<Insert justification here>___ . (Shut up self, I am stronger than this desire)
Everybody does it. (Not me.)


It helps if you can identify your self-talk and overwrite them with talk designed to control the addiction.
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Old 07-22-2010, 02:44 PM   #84
classicman
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That belongs in the Hall of fame Stormie!
Only thing I'd change is the last one
Quote:
Everybody does it. (No They don't)
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Old 07-22-2010, 04:23 PM   #85
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Oh that is Excellent Stormie!!!

That is pretty similar to what I do, but requires less introspection... which for me is actually better... I'm so very OCD.

I've gone through The Work of Byron Katie... if you aren't familiar she pretty much gives you the tools you need in her book titled Loving What Is. It changed my life.

LJ... I sincerely hope this proves an opportunity to create a deeper bond between you and Jinx. I wish you guys the best.
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Old 07-22-2010, 05:28 PM   #86
lumberjim
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pooka View Post

LJ... I sincerely hope this proves an opportunity to create a deeper bond between you and Jinx. I wish you guys the best.
thanks, Pooka.

Today, my mind is thinking of how I neglected that bond. If I get another chance, you can bet your life I will not make the same mistake again. This has become a larger issue than the eating. The eating may be at the root of it, it may be a collateral result of something else. I don't really know. Standing outside of the circle gives you a much clearer perspective on things.

I AM a loving husband. I expressed my love constantly in words. I believed what I was saying too. I was telling myself that everything I was doing, I was doing to keep them all happy. But I was doing it the same way I was eating to be happy. Satisfying the momentary desires at the cost of the future. I feel love. I say I love. My actions, however, were not expressing love. I can see that very clearly now. In the end, it was hurtful, not loving. Ask me if i regret that.

I'm sorry to be maudlin, but I'm in a glass case of emotion here.
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Embrace this moment, remember
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Old 07-22-2010, 06:05 PM   #87
limey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lumberjim View Post
thanks, Pooka.

Today, my mind is thinking of how I neglected that bond. If I get another chance, you can bet your life I will not make the same mistake again. This has become a larger issue than the eating. The eating may be at the root of it, it may be a collateral result of something else. I don't really know. Standing outside of the circle gives you a much clearer perspective on things.

I AM a loving husband. I expressed my love constantly in words. I believed what I was saying too. I was telling myself that everything I was doing, I was doing to keep them all happy. But I was doing it the same way I was eating to be happy. Satisfying the momentary desires at the cost of the future. I feel love. I say I love. My actions, however, were not expressing love. I can see that very clearly now. In the end, it was hurtful, not loving. Ask me if i regret that.

I'm sorry to be maudlin, but I'm in a glass case of emotion here.
Oh, I do hope that you all get another chance.
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Old 07-22-2010, 08:37 PM   #88
xoxoxoBruce
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Sometimes tough love is better, although it's, well, tougher.
When you're not wealthy, but do have a large cash flow, it's easy to put things off thinking it'll work out. The squeals of delight, and adoration, produced by providing the "extras", are very intoxicating.
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Old 07-22-2010, 08:47 PM   #89
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LJ, The book Wolf mentioned, The Five Love Languages (or somethign like that) is another good book to add to your reading list, but the gist of it is:

Everyone expresses love and experiences feeling loved in different ways. He has a multiple choice quiz that asks Qs like: "Would you rather go on a long walk with your lover or have a long talk?" after answering the questions you determine if your "love language" is touch, communication, quality time, acts of service, and I forget the other.

For example, couples can have problems if one person's love language is "communication" and the other's is "acts of service."

Why does she feel I don't love her? I tell her so all the time. vs. He doesn't love me, he never fixes things or picks up things at the store when I ask him to. etc etc

It is a quick read and helps determine if you are speaking in a language the other person doesn't understand.
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Old 07-23-2010, 10:21 AM   #90
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I'll third that book.
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