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Old 05-17-2005, 12:13 PM   #16
lookout123
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i think you should just screw with them.
- let a bottle of ipecac fall out of your purse.
-let them see you come out of the bathroom wiping your mouth like you had just barfed.
- ask if anyone has a mint - "i don't want to smell like vomit, you know"
- when anyone offers you a small piece of food look at them in horror and gasp - "do you know the amount of laxatives i would have to ingest if i ate that thing???"


my aunt works as a therapist at an inresidence eating disorder clinic. my wife and i have a lot of fun messing with her.
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Old 05-17-2005, 01:03 PM   #17
mrnoodle
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has anyone actually accused you of having an eating disorder, or is it possible you're mistakenly inferring it from otherwise innocent comments?

The one I got all the time was, "Smile! It's not that bad, is it?" Patronizing mumblemumblemumble grrrr. Apparently it wasn't enough that I abstained from ripping their tiny rocklike hearts from their Ambercrombie & Fitch exoskeletons, now they want me to SMILE ABOUT IT???

No, really. Apparently people mistook the natural non-tooth-showing hang of my face for unhappiness or depression. I'm forever accused of scowling, even when I'm completely happy. But I really don't think they're being jerks, and I've finally overcome the selfconsciousness that makes me feel like I have to walk around with a permanent rictus.

You can't control other people, but you can control your reaction to em. I never had witticisms at hand, the ones everyone has come up with here are good, though.
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Old 05-17-2005, 03:10 PM   #18
Clodfobble
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"Yep, harpoons are the last thing *I* worry about"
That's some funny ass shit.

I heartily agree with Beestie, mock them. I'd pay money to see you say the above line to someone. I, too, get the "You need to eat more" comments, and I've always said, "Yeah, but you should see what I look like without the methamphetamines."
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Old 05-17-2005, 03:22 PM   #19
staceyv
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Oh Noodle, I get the same damn thing about my facial expression- it's always "are you okaaaay?" And it's always when I'm deep in thought. I guess thinking makes me look like I want to cry, who knows...

To answer the question about actually being accused, yes, I have definitely been accused. My ex-boyfriend told me everything his family said about me, and they were dead set on that.
The girl at work who won't shut up about how GREAT I look and how I was too skinny before, and how GREAT it is that I gained weight- every single fucking day,
Has accused two other girls I know of having eating disorders. And she talks behind a lot of people's backs- so don't tell me that she isn't saying it about me!
She even had a conversation with one of the cooks about my weight and thank God I gained some weight. He told me later.

Yesterday, she mentioned it AGAIN, for like the fifth time this week.
She says "Stacey, I was talking with so and so about how pretty you look and good it is that you gained some weight."
I said :wow, I gain 3 pounds and everybody here is talking about it! You guys keep track of my weight better than I do!" And I tried to say it with a smile so she couldn't tell if I was being rude or not.

Like I said, I've known my coworkers for five years and I don't want to be a total bitch to them...
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Old 05-17-2005, 09:17 PM   #20
SmurfAbuser
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These people are obviously jealous of you, and when people get jealous, they want bad things to be true in order to "even the score." Sad but true.

There are so many overweight people in this country, and most of them will always be overweight. They see you and think "wow, I wish I had a bod like her," but instead of doing anything about it they order a Biggie Meal from Wendy's and spend all their time in front of the TV, on the computer, playing video games, etc.

So take it as a compliment, girl--the best revenge is living well!
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Old 05-17-2005, 11:55 PM   #21
lookout123
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no the best revenge is to set them up on a date with your friend who is really nice, but unfortunately has herpes.
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:07 AM   #22
lumberjim
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just tell them that you got tapeworms from not cleaning your toilet for 3 years.

you could back it up with pictures.
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Old 05-18-2005, 05:35 AM   #23
staceyv
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now THAT might actually work!
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Old 05-18-2005, 10:29 AM   #24
kerosene
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Beestie had some great comments. Too bad I don't have the necessary situation in which to use them.

When I was pregnant, a guy I worked with had the nerve to actually tell me "Hey, I didn't know you were pregnant!" (at 6 months it was pretty obvious). I told him "Oh, you just thought I was REALLY getting fat...like I was sitting around eating doughnuts all day, didn't you?" I then laughed like he had told the best joke all day. He shut up.
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Old 05-18-2005, 10:39 AM   #25
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Just for the record, as a guy, I can tell you that we can be pretty unobservant. One day he probably noticed you were pregnant, and said "hey, I just noticed you are pregnant." Dumb, but not mean.

Last edited by glatt; 05-18-2005 at 10:44 AM.
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Old 05-18-2005, 10:40 AM   #26
wolf
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Better for him to call you fat and you be pregant, than you be fat and he ask if you're pregnant ...
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Old 05-18-2005, 10:48 AM   #27
kerosene
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I suppose that is true. I didn't like this guy to begin with, so I wanted to embarass him, even if it meant embarassing me in the process. I am more difficult to embarass. (I realize that by saying that, I am asking for trouble!)

I hated the after-pregnant questions people would ask, like "Are you pregnant again?" It took me a while to lose a lot of that babyfat.

I also hated when people made comments about how hot I must have been when I was 9 months preg August 100+ degree weather. I wanted to make a hole in their heads with my fist. I did smack a few people for touching my tummy without my permission. A pregnant tummy is not a public touching spot. People don't get that! Sorry, that was a rant meant for another thread.
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Old 05-18-2005, 10:51 AM   #28
jaguar
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no the best revenge is to set them up on a date with your friend who is really nice, but unfortunately has herpes.
No, that's cruel and unusual revenge. And will be remembered for future use.
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Old 05-19-2005, 07:33 AM   #29
staceyv
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Case, I totally sympathise with you.
If I ever decided to have children (AFTER I quit smoking and got out of debt!),
I don't think I would ever leave the house because if I had people trying to touch me and rub my belly all the time I would think I would flip out.
All the hormones in my system probably wouldn't strengthen my self control, either.
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Old 05-19-2005, 10:18 AM   #30
OnyxCougar
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Maybe it's because I'm over 6 foot tall and scowl at people that approach me, but when I was pregnant, *NO ONE* came up to me or touched my belly.

They would have lost a hand.
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