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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 12-27-2004, 09:22 AM   #16
OnyxCougar
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*smiles* thanks for the happy vibes. we needs em!
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Old 12-27-2004, 10:48 AM   #17
wolf
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Onyx, stop reading NC law, and start reading GA.

NC will just administer the decision of the GA courts.
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Old 12-28-2004, 04:47 PM   #18
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Crap.

OK so per GA code 19 - 6- 15, section c, looks like we'll have to pay $437 to $532, and provide the health insurance (which we are paying for anyway).

This can be mitigated by the court (or CSE) and two reasons out of many they may mitigate is his responsiblity to our household (ie we're supporting 3 kids at our house), and her income.

GA law is different than NC law in that NC law takes income from both parents and sets an average of what should be paid toward the children, then halves it, mitigates, and that's how much we pay. GA law goes flat rate percentage (23% to 27%) based only on Husband's income, and then mitigates.

I think we were better off under NC law, but wolf's absolutely right. We're under GA law here, NC is just collecting.

Dammit.
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Old 12-28-2004, 05:45 PM   #19
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This thought has been flitting through my mind:

She's getting child support from Husband.

My oldest son's father is in prison (ever), can I get child support from the state of Oregon? Like....back dated from the time I was awarded custody by the state?
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Old 12-28-2004, 06:04 PM   #20
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You certainly can...of course, you'll never see a dime from him, but...
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Old 12-29-2004, 02:05 AM   #21
wolf
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Prisoners are paid for the work they do while incarcerated. Not much, but paid.

It's worth a shot.

The real question may be if there is a statute of limitations for filing for the support ... You can only collect until the kid's 18, typically, but would you have had to file the claim prior to a certain date, and does any other court order or filing impact your ability to claim the support?

I'm not a lawyer, and I don't play one on TV.
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Old 12-29-2004, 07:58 AM   #22
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You can file anytime before the kid's 18, but usually you can't backdate it very far unless you can prove that he was hiding and you couldn't locate him, etc.

But yeah, you're not going to get much out of him. I think prisoners make something like thirty cents an hour? And that's assuming he's in a labor program.
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Old 12-29-2004, 09:21 PM   #23
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OC my thoughts are with you. I have to say to a lot of what I have read here, your posts and others I think Sixfeet and I are lucky.
We were together before she met the donor. When she was with him he always treated her and the kids as trash. When she and I first got back together he use to ocme see our son, but he always treated him as an annoyance while he tried to convince Sixfeet to come back to him. After a lot of crap from her mother she and I seperated(not really or choice,even longer story) she ended up with him again. She was in a bad state and I still say there was a lot more shit going on in that house than I ever found out about. I lived 12 hours away and could not convince her that she didn't deserve the scumbag. She felt she was owed punishment for what happened between us. SHe got Pregnant again and the jerk actually tried causing a car accident to make her lose it.
SHe wise up some and moved in with parents. so did he not long after. After our daugther was born she realized that most of the real trouble and pain in her life came from him. She called me and asked if I really meant it when I told her that I loved her. I said yes and asked her what she wanted. She said a home for her kids. MAybe even something better for herself. I like to think I came through on that. We dont have much, but we are happy. as are the kids.
The point of this incredibly rambling post is this. We got lucky. He never cared about the kids. Never really wanted them, they were a barginning chip to get to Sixfeet. Since our marriage five years ago there has been one phone call. Him asking her mother if she was home. Her mother told him she had moved and was getting married. Just like she had told him. SHe offered the phone number and addie, he said he didn't need it and hung up. With any luck that will be the last we ever hear from him. Our children will know who he was. Beyond that he is owed nothing but pity.
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Old 12-30-2004, 07:42 AM   #24
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Ah well, just as with my second son's father, I'd just as soon they not know where I am. I'll be poor but I won't have to deal with them.

Nightsong, your wife's ex sounds like my first ex (father of my oldest...who just turned 17 yesterday, BTW....I'm old). I'm glad the scumbag isn't in your lives, causing problems.
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Old 01-24-2005, 02:29 PM   #25
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She finally called to find out where HER money was, and my husband was WAY calmer than I would have been. He told her that he's put it in a bank until the court order is established.

We filed the answer on Thursday.

I received the copy of their divorce and you should SEE the crap she wrote about Husband. It was melodrama to the max. She was deceitful then and she's deceitful now. ***grr***

So we answered and now we wait for a court date, I guess....
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Old 02-04-2005, 05:24 AM   #26
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We have our court date on March 11.
We're asking not to pay back support, since it was never ordered in the first place and we've been sending money.
We're asking for court ordered visitation, with her paying their way home.
We're asking for either one girl every year for taxes or both girls every other year for taxes.

I'll let you know.....
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Old 02-05-2005, 01:32 AM   #27
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Try for the younger girl every year.
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Old 03-13-2005, 04:11 PM   #28
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OK. So we had The Hearing (tm).

We arrived at 8:15 for a 8:30 start time. They opened up the security checkpoint at 8:36 and we got scanned in.

We stood outside the court room door in the hallway with about 30 other people. There were 91 cases on the docket, all child support.

The case workers (the 4 ladies who actually work on the cases on the state/plaintiff side) arrived at 8:51.

We walked in and sat on the benches. The assistant DA introduced herself and told us that the case workers would call up every case before the judge arrived to try to get a "consent" (i.e. this is your last chance to settle).

Of the 91 cases on the docket, only 44 or so showed. Of those, about 20 were continuances (most were waiting for genetic testing) or motions for dismissal (due to exclusion by genetic testing). About 10 consented out, and that left about 15 people that had to go through the judge.

The case worker called Husband and he went up there to discuss "consenting". It's called consenting, but that's just another name for "We're going to give you a raw deal and we're hoping that now that you're in the court room and would rather be somewhere else that you'll take it up the ass just to get out of here."

She offered $537 a month, and back pay starting from Dec 1, 2004. No credit for the over $3000 he's paid her in 2004. He brings home $1100 a month, so that's fully 50% of his check. He said, "uh, I don't consent, and I'll talk to the judge."

At about 10am the judge showed up. They got through all the continuances and consent orders. The judge saw 3 cases before ours. In each he seemed to be fair, and not lopsided, (ie favoring the women). We were pretty excited. We had brought every piece of documentation we could think of.

He called Husband up and the case worker told the ADA what they asked for in consent, and that Husband declined. The judge read the answer we filed and looked at the ADA and asked her why they are seeking child support when no custody has ever been established.

He looked at Husband. In the divorce, was custody ever established? Husband said, no. "Was any support ordered?" No. He said that he didn't have any jurisdiction to award custody, esp with the kids in Ga. so he lloked at Husband and said, "Sir, I can't give you legal advice, so I'll ask you this: would like to get an attorney in this matter?" This was completely different than he had been with others...he really wanted us to get an attorney.

Husband elected to get an attorney and Judge gave us a continuance until 4/20. The child support clock is ticking as of April 1, tho, whatever the outcome. Any back support will be from April 1st.

We went out and called some people, and basically, if we hadn't have filed for a continuance, and the judge issued a support order, in effect, he would have been awarding custody, and Husband would have waived all rights to the kids and visitation. That has to be done first, then we worry about support.

So. It's off to find a family attorney. We're going to go for full custody of the girls, and if we can't get that, we'll ask for joint custody, where the girls stay with us 6 months of the year (Christmas to June) and her the rest, and we're going to try to waive child support completely, since we'll both have them the same amount of time, and it's silly to pay her and then her pay us... and we'll want to claim one of the two kids for tax purposes.

And so it goes....
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Old 03-15-2005, 09:54 AM   #29
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So Husband called around and all the NC lawyers said he has to hire a Ga lawyer and do a phone consultation with them to discuss the case and the fees.

Greeeeeeeeeeeat....
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Old 03-17-2005, 09:39 AM   #30
OnyxCougar
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So we got a GA lawyer. $1000 retainer and $105 for the filing fees.

*sigh*
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