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Old 05-04-2007, 02:24 AM   #916
Crimson Ghost
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On your parents bed.
Try to time it so that you climax just as the folks walk through the door.
Worked for so many teenagers.

Also, try pulling your knees toward your chest just before, during and after orgasm.

If that doesn't work, just fuck as much as you can.
If you don't get pregnant, at least you'll have a smile on your face and a wiggle in your walk.
I know other ways to put a wiggle in your walk, but they won't help you conceive.
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We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark.

I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them,
I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period.



Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
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Old 05-04-2007, 08:48 AM   #917
bbro
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I don't know about positions, but I do know that it is recommended that you orgasm right before he does, that way, the contractions help pull the sperm into the uterus. (don't ask how I know these things)
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Old 05-07-2007, 02:26 PM   #918
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In a kind of backwards way, sometimes it seems the best way to get pregnant is by trying not to, but the above posters seem to know better than I. :p

After reading all 62 pages of the Sex Thread, I really really need a cookie . . . or maybe a new lung. I seem to have coughed up both of mine from laughing so hard.
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Old 05-07-2007, 03:25 PM   #919
Trilby
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyM View Post
In a kind of backwards way, sometimes it seems the best way to get pregnant is by trying not to, but the above posters seem to know better than I. :p

After reading all 62 pages of the Sex Thread, I really really need a cookie . . . or maybe a new lung. I seem to have coughed up both of mine from laughing so hard.
You darling girl. Welcome.

Is LadyM a reference to that most awesome of Ladies--Lady Marmalade?
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In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic.

"Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her.
—James Barrie


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Old 05-07-2007, 03:27 PM   #920
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Welcome to the Cellar, ladyM.
Knock off the laughing, this is a serious scientific examination of the subject, here.
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Old 05-07-2007, 03:35 PM   #921
Trilby
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce View Post
Knock off the laughing, this is a serious scientific examination of the subject, here.
LadyM! LookOUT! This is a TRAP!
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In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic.

"Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her.
—James Barrie


Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum
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Old 05-07-2007, 06:11 PM   #922
LadyM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brianna View Post
You darling girl. Welcome.

Is LadyM a reference to that most awesome of Ladies--Lady Marmalade?
Ah, no. The M stands for Melodrama! (and a variety of other pertinent adjectives).

Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce View Post
Welcome to the Cellar, ladyM.
Knock off the laughing, this is a serious scientific examination of the subject, here.
Of course, of course.
Sex is serious stuff.
Let me just stuff those lungs back in . . .
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Old 05-07-2007, 06:23 PM   #923
Griff
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crimson Ghost View Post
On your parents bed.
Try to time it so that you climax just as the folks walk through the door.
Worked for so many teenagers.
Man that was funny... hmmm... could be the booze. I'll check in tomorrow.
Just go and go and go from a couple days before ovulation until he just won't put out. This is one one of those beautiful moments, do whatever you want whenever you want as much as you want. For us it was sex in the snow on skis. When all the junk is nice and cool...
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Old 05-07-2007, 08:26 PM   #924
monster
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Oh the not trying thing is so true. This is an excerpt form the Sex Ed book we gave our kids (the one that got me into trouble with the school bus driver who reported me to the police.....)



Pay particular attention to step three. To see all possible positions, you need to buy the book.

Over here it's called Mommy laid an Egg. it's by Babette Cole and I wouldn't be surprised if the best pages were censored!
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Old 05-08-2007, 02:43 AM   #925
Crimson Ghost
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Griff View Post
Man that was funny... hmmm... could be the booze. I'll check in tomorrow.
Thanks.
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We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark.

I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them,
I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period.



Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
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Old 05-18-2007, 10:05 PM   #926
mitheral
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brianna View Post
Why are all the crazy ones (females as well as males) always so good in bed? Is it some sort of evolutionary trick? I've noticed that the alcoholic, drug addicted, bi-polar nut cases were usually very attractive people (well, until their various addictions came to collect) and I'd have lots of chemistry with them. Electric! You go to bed with them, nearly die of what they do to you and THEN you find out that they are completely insane. Is that how insanity manages to pass along it's genes? Thru packaging and pheremones?
It's a key sub plot point in Larry Niven's Known Space series that crazy people (specifically schizophrenics) are sexy.
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Old 05-21-2007, 12:13 PM   #927
LabRat
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Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately my husband is having 'issues' with a disk in his back, so sex is one of the last things on his mind right now. I was able to convince him to get me doggie style one night on vacation, using a couch and a LOT of pillows so he basically just had to stand there. Frankly, it wasn't any fun, and his back still hurt later. Maybe next month. *sigh*
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Old 05-23-2007, 12:01 AM   #928
Crimson Ghost
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I had to re-read that second sentence.

Have you tried with you on top?

(Mental image forming...)

Sorry, I went to my happy place there for a sec.
It's ok, they know me there.

Anyway, cowgirl or reverse cowgirl might be the way to go, what with his wonky back.
Just a thought...
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We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark.

I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them,
I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period.



Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
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Old 05-23-2007, 12:33 AM   #929
DucksNuts
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Great minds Ghost.

Was gonna suggest the same thing, you on top...not great for baby making unless you flip onto your back really unromantically after the gravy stroke.
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Old 05-23-2007, 12:59 AM   #930
Crimson Ghost
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DucksNuts View Post
Great minds Ghost.

Was gonna suggest the same thing, you on top...not great for baby making unless you flip onto your back really unromantically after the gravy stroke.
Hmm...
Me on top...
I like it, but...
Not sure Labrats hubby would care for that...
Not sure my missus would either...

Oh, wait...
That was to Labrat...
Sorry.
I now return you to your previously scheduled thread.
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We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark.

I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them,
I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period.



Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
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