View Single Post
Old 03-23-2009, 10:38 AM   #117
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
Son of a bitch

My toddler got high this weekend.

We had a miscommunication with one of his Sunday School teachers--they rotate every two weeks, and while we'd had a long group email thread with all of them about his new diet, this particular one doesn't ever check her email and apparently was never following along at all. So this Sunday was her day, and she gave him cheddar goldfish crackers for snack. Two whole cups full, because of course after the first half-cup he demanded another one, and another, and after they finally cut him off at four servings he collapsed to the floor in a junkie rage... I knew as soon as I came to pick him up that something was wrong, because he was over in the corner spinning a toy car two inches from his face, and he hasn't done that in weeks.

Anyway, it's been sorted out with that teacher now, and she was deeply apologetic when she found out what she'd inadvertently done. But in the meantime I've got my old nutter back for at least 3-4 days until it clears his system. I had to shut off the water to the kitchen sink at the valve, because he couldn't be persuaded away from the faucets and I was terrified he'd discover the little black water gun handle (who the hell uses that thing anyway? What a stupid feature.) Now he's finally moved on to watching Cars, just like the old days:



Ah, hindsight. I'm eagerly awaiting the time when it becomes less bitter, and more funny.

BUT! The silver lining is this event finally convinced Mr. Clod that the dairy thing is real. Before, he was just sort of taking my word for it, in the way that husbands don't question their wives when it comes to the children. But this, he saw with his own eyes. So now he's enthusiastically on board when I start questioning things like whether Minifob's skin lotion has dairy in it (it fucking DOES) instead of just nodding politely.

And in other good news, I think Subsitute Waffle v. 5.0 (that's the new homemade baking mix with yellow food coloring added) has been deemed acceptable. We'll see if he changes his mind in the next few days, but he's eaten three of them so far. I think we finally have a dairy-free waffle solution, and just as a bonus it happens to be gluten-free too.
Clodfobble is offline   Reply With Quote