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-   -   What might be making you a tad apprehensive, but might not, as it's too soon to tell (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=23955)

BigV 06-16-2018 06:37 PM

The margaritas are preventing me from answering your question in the manner to which I am accustomed.

HOWEVER!


I shall return.

[/Gen George McArthur ]

Gravdigr 06-20-2018 01:35 PM

Damn, when that boy moves he makes it count, don't he?

Don't worry too much, I'm betting ya done good.

:comfort:

Gravdigr 06-20-2018 01:37 PM

And tell margarita hello for me. I haven't seen her in a while.

glatt 06-21-2018 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt (Post 1009904)
We're filling in details now.
...snip...

Things out West are so far apart.

I'm not worried. Only have a few details to finalize. And there is still some time.

Orange things are messing up our trip.

First it was the wildfire.

Now it's the orange man here in DC.

One of the dads on the trip is a lawyer, and his biggest client just got slammed by these moronic tariffs. They have been forced to lay off something like 80% of their workforce because their only product is wire and they depend on steel imports. Virtually all their orders for wire have been canceled in the last week. Anyway, this lawyer dad has spent the past week lobbying folks on the Hill, and has to travel with a congressman to Missouri to give a tour of one of the plants the orange man shut down. This is right in the middle of our trip that he has to be babysitting a congressman. He would love to skip it but can't afford to abandon this client that is fighting for its existence.

So it turns out our van reservations were in this guys name, and with all the driving we are doing, we were really counting on having three drivers to take shifts. I think we can still pull this off with only two adults, but it's going to be much more brutal, and we may have to pay more to make new van reservations.

Fuck.

Gravdigr 06-21-2018 02:21 PM

Well, shit. If it's not one thing, it's another.

Griff 06-22-2018 06:24 AM

Man, this is upsetting in so many ways. Is there no emergency Dad you can drag into it?

glatt 06-22-2018 07:44 AM

So the working plan we have now is that I rent the van. Done.

Not sure if I can add him as a driver if he isn't there in person. Maybe if I have a copy of his driver's license.

And this lawyer dad is going to fly to his important St. Louis meetings with all his backpacking gear in addition to all his lawyer shit. After the meetings he's going to the airport hotel, pack up, change into camper mode, and fly to Billings MT in the morning and meet us at the KOA when we arrive that afternoon. Or maybe we will pick him up in the Billings airport. I guess we'll be driving around with his big briefcase and suit/garment bag at the bottom of the pile under the camping equipment and backpacks.

So he will miss the first week of the trip, but that's the relaxing fewer miles driven part of the trip anyway.

Clodfobble 06-22-2018 10:21 AM

That's awesome. I'm glad that he was able to figure out a way to make it work even with his lawyerin' obligations. Seems like everyone's really on board with making this happen for the kids no matter what, which makes success a lot easier.

glatt 06-22-2018 10:36 AM

Oh yeah. Right. This is for the kids. I keep forgetting. :blush:

xoxoxoBruce 06-22-2018 11:36 AM

:lol2:

Gravdigr 06-22-2018 12:51 PM

Heheh...

Griff 06-22-2018 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt (Post 1010515)
Oh yeah. Right. This is for the kids. I keep forgetting. :blush:

:lol

Could he UPS his lawyer stuff to his office?

sexobon 06-22-2018 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt (Post 1010508)
... Not sure if I can add him as a driver if he isn't there in person. Maybe if I have a copy of his driver's license. ...

If he gives you a limited power of attorney, it's the same as him being there. Make sure you charge him an attorney's fee. :D

monster 06-22-2018 09:09 PM

Started to drive pologirl to Toronto this morning to catch the flight for her two month European thing starting with 6 weeks on the dig in Greece.... border easy... then we hit traffic. serious traffic. Forced off the freeway, no explanation, no diversion posted. So we followed the trucks for a couple of hours. crawling interspersed with nothing. Roads on a grid system through flat farmland -we could see lines of trucks like hedgerows.

Found a truck stop once we realized flight was not happening. Nasty accident closed main freeway in Ontario. They let us use a phone, pologirl rebooked for tomorrow (at a cost of $1000ish)

Google maps still thinks freeway is closed.... just a tad apprehensive. Dig requires arrival on a specific day, not happening. Dig director likes pologirl though and seems ok, may even send special shuttle to airport.

still apprehensive tho

glatt 06-22-2018 10:04 PM

I'm sorry for your apprehension, but love the image of lines of trucks like hedge rows. I've looked at maps more than once and noticed those road grids out there and wondered if you couldn't just pick a random little farm road and drive for 50 miles in a perfectly straight line.

Griff 06-23-2018 08:10 AM

Good luck monster. Also good imagery.

BigV 06-23-2018 10:03 AM

I'm back.

Thanks all for your concern and your patience. I really do appreciate you.


*****


So, SonofV made it to NY safely and is set up in an apartment and is submitting job applications at a rate of about ten a day. Well, ten *today*(yesterday, actually, when I started this reply...), so that's one datapoint. Obviously, he needs a job so he can pay the rent--right now he's just living off the generosity of others. When he gets a job, he'll be able to pay his fair share on the apartment he's applied to rent with the people he's staying with now, when the new lease takes effect. Fingers crossed!

Seattle was tough for him. He had a tumultuous adolescence / early adulthood, chronicled here in other threads. My divorce from Tink blew up his family unit, my prolonged unemployment cast an economic pall over his half-home, and his mother's illness and physical decline made him a full time caregiver. Her death was equal, copious parts tragedy and relief, two tastes that taste like shit together. My county-changing reemployment and subsequent move ejected him from his natal home and into years of couch surfing. Very tough. Not living under a bridge tough, but still pretty sucky.

He had some low skill, low reward jobs, nothing with any upward trajectory, but enough to pay for food and Xbox Gold. Absent from the lamentations above is any mention of post high school education. We tried community college (I paid, he bailed) but he wasn't into it #hammeringoncoldiron. As a loving parent, which I am, I want the best for my kid. I want him to succeed. Success doesn't have a specific shape or numeric value, I'd consider it a success if he became a functioning, autonomous, happy, resilient adult. An adult who has the creativity and grit to get back up and find a way to work it out.

This sounds lofty and all, but that's only because it takes a big sacrifice on my part. Specifically, it requires me to stand by, to hold back, while my kid suffers. Pain can be instructive. Watching my kid suffer while I know I have the ability (and the desire, definitely) to alleviate that suffering has revealed depths of restraint I didn't know I had.

That's part of the "blessing" this move represents. I really, really, can't hop on the ferry, I mean, airplane after work and buy him dinner as we chat at the laundromat because he's out of quarters. Or some shit like that. Or, show up at the ER *again* because he's faceplanted into the grab bars on the bus and broken his nose and teeth so he can have a ride home/back to his couch.

This letting go, truly emptying my nest, represents a transition as surprising as the birth of his eldest sibling. I saw both events coming, I recognize both events as normal and desirable, and I was really not prepared for the reality they represented. Reading about it didn't convey the emotional impact, the physical experience of such a change. Some of the parents reading this know what I'm talking about.

Twil and I had planned a weekend getaway awhile ago, just a Saturday night halfway around the peninsula. The plan had been made before SonofV's move was discussed let alone had a departure date. He'd agreed to watch Andy (The Reluctant Outdoor Dog) for us. Well, he was good for his promise, and Twil and I packed up the car on Saturday morning, I kissed SonofV goodbye, waking him on the couch as I did so, "Hey, we're leaving now. Loveya!"... He was groggy, hugged me back and we left. As we were in the drive through at Starbucks five minutes down the road Twil asked me what I wanted. And I didn't answer. She looked over at me. I couldn't answer. I was in the throes of a debilitating attack of separation anxiety. All I could manage was to squeak out "It feels like that's the last time I'll ever see him." Twil, compassionately suggested, "Why don't we ask him to come along?". Fast forward, I called him (woke him up again) and asked him if he'd like to join us on a little road trip. He said sure so we went back and he hopped in the car (he was already packed, he basically lives out of a suitcase). And the dog was just fine spending the weekend outside with food and water and shelter and fair weather.

The trip was nice, not extraordinary by travel standards. But we all had a good time. Twil's genius and insight and love for me and for him saved me. It certainly saved the weekend, I was completely unsuitable company before he joined us. And it gave me a little rehearsal for the actual separation on Monday, which went pretty smoothly. And now we're back to the opening paragraph.

Since then, he's settled in nicely. He's staying with friends of his brother who lives in the next little town down the road. I expect his brother can tell him stuff he can't hear from me, despite the fact ElderSon and I are saying the exact same things. Also totally normal. I'm fine now. I'm functional, though recounting the experience has made me cry again. He's got more work ahead of him, work that is hard and has real consequences. The stakes are pretty high. And he's going to fail. I know it. I welcome it. Just as I welcome the image of him getting back up, and trying again.

Gravdigr 06-23-2018 03:10 PM

My eyes are humid.

Undertoad 06-23-2018 03:17 PM

i am humbled by all parental tales told in earnest

Clodfobble 06-23-2018 04:01 PM

Bummer, monster. Hope she gets there. :(

Griff 06-23-2018 04:22 PM

Letting go of offspring stuff can be really tough. We are at a similar time brother. They need to succeed or fail on their own terms but knowing that does not make letting go any easier.

glatt 06-23-2018 05:43 PM

It's an exciting time for him.

monster 06-23-2018 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble (Post 1010590)
Bummer, monster. Hope she gets there. :(

The plane departed. I have no reason to believe she wasn't on it, although the sucky wifi at Pearson meant we weren't able to communicate after security. I'm back home now, thanks

BigV 06-23-2018 10:29 PM

Safe travels!

Gravdigr 06-24-2018 02:21 PM

I simply canNOT tell you how glad?happy? I am that I don't have offspring.

It might be the thing for which I'm most thankful.

Griff 06-24-2018 03:21 PM

The young ladies are flying to Europe and the Mrs. is in Texas. Weird. I guess I'll binge watch soccer and the Expanse.

Undertoad 07-09-2018 01:34 PM

come on, internal recruiter at new job possibility

you know you want me, just get them to talk to me. I'll handle the rest

xoxoxoBruce 07-09-2018 03:04 PM

Want me to give them a recommendation?
No wait, you want this job right? Nevermind :lol:

BigV 07-09-2018 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 1011407)
come on, internal recruiter at new job possibility

you know you want me, just get them to talk to me. I'll handle the rest

Rooting for you!

Griff 07-10-2018 05:50 AM

Go Tone!

fargon 07-10-2018 05:51 AM

Good for you Sir!

limey 07-10-2018 04:36 PM

Attaboy!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Undertoad 07-11-2018 08:09 AM

~ phone interview confirmed ~

I want to be a technical writer. I've never done it professionally, so I have to make a case for myself. I'ma can and would tell the persons i have write good before

limey 07-11-2018 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 1011475)
~ phone interview confirmed ~

I want to be a technical writer. I've never done it professionally, so I have to make a case for myself. I'ma can and would tell the persons i have write good before



Rootin’ fer ya, kid!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Clodfobble 07-12-2018 08:22 AM

Good luck!

glatt 07-12-2018 04:39 PM

Good luck UT. You would be good at that, I believe.

Undertoad 07-13-2018 01:58 PM

Aced the phone interview, my prospective manager and I connected really well

In-person interview to be scheduled

~ it's happening!! ~

Griff 07-13-2018 02:48 PM

sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

xoxoxoBruce 07-13-2018 04:05 PM

Excellent! :thumb:

glatt 07-13-2018 06:09 PM

Kick ass!

Gravdigr 07-16-2018 04:03 PM

:cheerldr:

xoxoxoBruce 07-16-2018 05:26 PM

1 Attachment(s)
And the winner is...

orthodoc 07-16-2018 07:09 PM

Good luck, UT!

Gravdigr 07-17-2018 04:02 PM

Ortho!!

Where the hell ya been?

BigV 07-17-2018 08:13 PM

welcome back ortho!

orthodoc 07-17-2018 08:23 PM

Hey, guys! I’ve been hiding out in Pennsyltucky working long days butting my head against a brick wall. I should have stayed in touch. Just been tired and overwhelmed. I need to catch up on things here.

fargon 07-17-2018 08:24 PM

Hiya Doc.

orthodoc 07-17-2018 08:29 PM

Hi fargon!

glatt 07-18-2018 07:53 PM

Mother in law was just a victim of a phishing scam.

Gave out bank account info.

These guys are good at what they do. The details are not clear, but there were multiple people who got her to give them access to her computer so they could fix it, and then bank routing information to pay for the service.

So we got her to take battery out of the laptop and understand that it's now the enemy. And she will go to little local bank when it opens to freeze the account. And she's going to give us all her various passwords so we can change everything from here. She is trying to remember all the information she gave them. I don't think she does much financial stuff on there.

What am I missing?

Undertoad 07-18-2018 08:02 PM

Dammit.

Listen to Reply All podcast episodes 102 and 103 to understand where all this shit is coming from. The Reply All gents explain it in a true-life, marvelously dramatic way.

xoxoxoBruce 07-18-2018 08:59 PM

I suspect tomorrow when the bank opens the money will be long gone. :(

Clodfobble 07-18-2018 09:21 PM

Maybe--banks are very aware of this sort of thing, and most have started limiting the amounts you can move quickly. It's a pain in the ass when you legitimately need to do something like buy a house or close an account, but as long as you realize your mistake and jump on it quickly, you can often get in ahead of the scammers. The real problem is when folks don't realize until weeks or months later what they've done. (Or when they get tricked into physically pulling the money out themselves--my stepgrandfather got suckered by a scheme that involved him buying iTunes giftcards and then reading the numbers to the guy over the phone.)

xoxoxoBruce 07-18-2018 11:02 PM

Could be, but we don't know when this happened, "just" could be hours or days. Scammers are probably smart enough to make numerous transactions below the bank's radar. Hopefully not.

glatt 07-19-2018 06:42 AM

My post was within an hour or so of her giving away the keys to the castle. All happened after hours.

We will see what they got soon enough.

She received an email receipt from them for a $300 transaction shortly after my post.

I actually hope they get the $300 just to drive the lesson home with her. I'm worried it will be the whole account balance, which she didn't know. At least a few thousand. Maybe over 10k? She has multiple accounts and only gave them the one.

My wife is debating driving the 4 hours down there this weekend.

MIL is still confused. Every once in a while she lets it slip that she was talking to Amazon and Cisco. She doesn't fully understand that it was all bad guys the whole time.

Is that laptop trash now? Or is there some reliable way to get all Spyware off it? Can't some spyware hide?

xoxoxoBruce 07-19-2018 07:40 AM

There may not be spyware, possibly they just told her something was wrong and they would fix it by giving them remote access... and paying for it of course.

Clodfobble 07-19-2018 07:59 AM

You can also put a fraud alert on her three major credit reports. Makes any new loans, etc. really hard for the next year, but will stop anyone from opening things in her name and stealing her identity along with her money.

xoxoxoBruce 07-19-2018 08:18 AM

And close all her bank accounts then send the cash to me for safe keeping. :apimp:

Undertoad 07-19-2018 09:02 AM

Quote:

Is that laptop trash now? Or is there some reliable way to get all Spyware off it? Can't some spyware hide?
If you entirely reset it, like reinstall the OS, it should be fine;

My concern wouldn't even be with trojan horses, but with things like browser home page and bookmarks that have been added/altered. If you run an anti-virus full scan, it would find trojans, but it would be harder to figure out that the hackers have, say, switched out random URLs on the bookmarks bar.

Undertoad 07-19-2018 09:44 AM

Quote:

In-person interview to be scheduled

~ it's happening!! ~
Is it? Hello? No word for four days...

*sigh* i'll just assume the deciders are on vacation this week

glatt 07-19-2018 06:31 PM

So the word from MIL is that she got to the bank before they did. The bank was extremely helpful. They closed her account and opened a new one for her. The manager at the bank called her pension and social security while she was there and arranged to have the direct deposits made into the new account. All her money is safe.

Her phone has been ringing off the hook from unknown numbers today, but she isn't answering.

She is going to take her laptop to her computer guy and pay him to erase everything off the hard drive and reinstall the system. She will lose some pictures but doesn't care.

She is incredibly lucky.

She had answered the phone last night because the caller ID said it was Amazon, and this was after she made an Amazon return.

She gets it now. They have her name and phone number and old credit card and bank info. They don't have her SS#


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