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-   -   What might be making you a tad apprehensive, but might not, as it's too soon to tell (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=23955)

Griff 08-25-2016 06:01 AM

nice

classicman 08-27-2016 08:13 AM

Eh hem ... I believer there is more news to share. El Sic!!!!

elSicomoro 08-27-2016 01:11 PM

Oh, I put it in the "Happy" thread...got the job, going to Detroit for 10 weeks. Gonna kick ass!

glatt 08-27-2016 07:24 PM

Sweet!

orthodoc 08-28-2016 03:20 PM

Great! Congratulations!

Clodfobble 09-24-2016 07:10 AM

Stepdaughter got fired yesterday from her job at my kids' school. Apparently there were four main issues:

1.) Her group never got anywhere on time
2.) She couldn't/wouldn't communicate what was going on with other adults
3.) She routinely drifted into inappropriate conversation topics with her kids--never sexual, but often death-related, like how the -icide in suicide can also be found in matricide, patricide, etc. Not awful, but not something all parents want her going on about with their kids. She'd been warned and continued to do it.
4.) She was yelling at the kids constantly, in a shaming and aggressive way.

The first three don't surprise me in the slightest. The last, however, was stunning to me when I first heard of it (again, there were multiple warnings, and the program director even reached out to me as a friend to find out if there was anything else going on,) but in retrospect it's obvious that she was screaming at the kids because that's how her mother treated her. We're waiting for the right moment to gently share this insight with her, when she's not still teary over getting fired.

The thing is, we knew she had no ability to project authority and would not be a good teacher in the long run. She had said before that one of the reasons she thought she would make a good middle school teacher is that she could be a great friend to all of them. We told her that's absolutely not what makes a good middle school teacher, but she insisted being a great listener was critical because, "Every teacher I ever had said to me, 'you know, if there's ever anything going on that you want to talk about, you can tell me.'" Well, no shit, honey--anyone can see you have major emotional problems, and they were only saying that to you, not to the kids with a fully-developed ego. To which she replied that she didn't act like a depressed unstable kid in school, she was more like [insert half a dozen super-obvious maladjusted attention-seeking socially-inappropriate behaviors here.]

Anyway, it's not necessarily a bad thing overall, hence the "tad apprehensive" thread, because we knew she needed to get off this teacher career path and onto something more suitable, and she also needed the experience of getting fired to convince her that the real world has real consequences. But we thought it would be more like, "Ugh, these kids are so annoying, I think I want to quit," not "You are so terrible at this we can't even let you stay on for a seventh week." The thing we thought would get her fired, oversleeping, has not yet been an issue, except that now that she's been fired from the job she really cared about, there's a distinct possibility she'll say "fuck this other job" and stop getting out of bed for it.

Meanwhile her first driving instructor passive-aggressively fired us, but now that she has all this room in her schedule we could probably find another one. Sometimes she's fine on the road, and sometimes she tries to change lanes into the car directly beside her and doesn't stop until I grab the wheel. But at least I have one fewer place to escort her to every day...


TL;DR - Stepdaughter got fired, which was inevitable, but the brutality of it may be too much for her to handle. I'm sick of cleaning up her mother's mess and I'm not anywhere near finished yet.

Sundae 09-24-2016 07:28 AM

I get why she was fired. And I know you get why too.
But that's really shitty. She'll have issues with that for years. Well, maybe. Maybe she'll shake it off. Don't want to be too negative.

But I am genuinely sorry you are having to pick up the pieces.

When I've messed up something important to me, there isn't really anything anyone can do but love and support me. I'm smart enough to know when it's my fault, but it doesn't make it hurt less. When it really hasn't been my fault (lousy boss, clash of personalities etc) it's hurt more initially, but I've faced it down. It's when I've caused the problem - emotional issues, drink, health - which recur in dreams and I end up reliving them every time I'm upset.

If you ever need someone to go round and kick her Mum up the cunt, I'll do it.
Prison can't be worse than hospital, right?

sexobon 09-24-2016 10:12 AM

Scratch my previous suggestion that SD consider being a nursing assistant. She apparently lacks the sound judgement needed to be a people person in the workplace.

Perhaps she needs an occupation working primarily with things rather than people, where one learns through on the job training and progresses by becoming skilled in a wider variety of things; or, on more sophisticated things rather than by supervising or taking care of others.

With her disposition, she may sooner or later find herself somewhere in logistics. The sooner the better. Companies like to train them young to add long term stability to their workforce. She could start out with something like packaging things in a factory and move up to operating machines that make the things. Could be there's an analogous situation in construction, shipping, maintenance ... etc. that she might like if she tried it.

Guard against her repeatedly applying for jobs she doesn't have the profile for. It's just as tempting to some to become a professional "terminee" as it is for others to become a professional student to get out of working for a living. I wouldn't give her more than three chances (i.e. jobs) to learn that she has to conform to doing what it takes to hold a job without getting fired. While getting fired may be devastating the first time, by the third or forth time it's old hat.

You may have to reassess your priorities and focus on first getting her independent transportation in that city. Her best bet may be working through a temp agency where she can experience a variety of places without having them as references. A single cumulative agency reference will take into account the totality of her work and obscure the places she went to that may have made her DNR (Do Not Return). She can still ask supervisors at the places that really liked her if she can use them as phone references. :)

Clodfobble 09-24-2016 09:43 PM

She is not polished enough to work for a temp agency. She has mild hygiene issues and no care for her appearance. Most temp jobs are at reception, and she is scared to answer the phone.

Independent transportation is absolutely our number one goal, but it's still up in the air as to how long that's going to take. What she'd honestly be great at is programming. She could get away with her social awkwardness in that environment, and she does well when left alone with a defined non-social task. She did very well in the one low-level programming class she took, and even enjoyed it, but the problem is she relies 1000% on peer validation, and no one in her computer class ever complimented her (adult compliments don't count because adults are all idiots.) But one time this one kid thanked her effusively for tutoring him, which is the moment she became convinced that teaching was for her.

sexobon 09-24-2016 11:57 PM

I brought up agency work because my BIL owns and runs a couple of factories in two states which are reliant on agency workers since the workload ebbs and flows too much to maintain a full complement of permanent employees. Some of the same temps have been going there for years and a few even hired for training to replace retiring employees. I suppose your city isn't exactly a manufacturing; or, transportation hub though.

Still, agency work is popular for its flexible scheduling. She might be able to find an agency that provides temp staffing in something like data entry or transcription services (where she would have her nose to a monitor all day and minimal contact with others) which would allow her to pursue additional coursework in programming or other area of interest.

Just a thought, maybe a contingency plan.

monster 09-25-2016 08:51 PM

CF, does SD see a counselor of any sort?

Clodfobble 09-26-2016 12:03 AM

Oh for sure. She was in therapy on and off from ages 4-10, then continuously (and on medication) from 10 until today. For the last 2.5 years she's had a separate, second counselor in Austin, because her mother insisted on sitting in on all her Houston sessions and then holding everything she said against her, so we set her up with one here that she could actually trust. We were limited by who would take Saturday appointments, though, so I wouldn't necessarily say the one in Austin is especially great, but it's been a neutral 3rd party for her to talk to, at least.

Clodfobble 09-27-2016 03:22 PM

And again with the apprehensive, but might be okay... She passed her driving test!! Is she safe on the road? Not really. Is she worse than any other teenager? I don't know.

What I know is I don't have to drive her to and from work every day, and we have an umbrella policy with our insurance. So I'm happy, at least, and whoever's car she inevitably hits, well, it'll be paid for.

One of these days I'll stop being a one-topic pony, but apparently not today.

Lola Bunny 11-20-2016 08:37 PM

As some of y'all may already know because I posted it on FB, I recently got into a car accident and totaled my car. Fortunately, I am okay. I need a new car ASAP because I don't have a set work schedule, so my husband can't always take me to work. We're going to go look for a car tomorrow. I can only afford a used car at the moment. I hope we don't end up buying one with hidden problems. [emoji53]

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G850A using Tapatalk

footfootfoot 11-20-2016 08:44 PM

Well buying cars with obvious problems is overrated. At least the hidden problems give you surprises to look forward to.

Lola Bunny 11-20-2016 08:58 PM

Ha....I've been too tired to want surprises. [emoji30]

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G850A using Tapatalk

Clodfobble 11-20-2016 09:31 PM

Glad you're safe at least, Lola. Happy car-hunting!

Lola Bunny 11-20-2016 09:38 PM

Thanks! I put all the responsibility of choosing a car onto my hubby. Don't want to be my fault when the car breaks down. LOL...I'm very good at not placing blame when something goes wrong, so he doesn't have a problem of making all the decisions.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G850A using Tapatalk

Gravdigr 11-21-2016 11:56 PM

Three bouts of "OhshitI'mgonnapuke!", with no results, thank goodness. Coinciding with full body sweats, and and bouts of "OhshitI'mgonnashit!", with unfortunate results.

I've been eating a few saltines while screwing around here for a few minutes, we'll see how that works out...:fingerx:

fargon 11-22-2016 04:54 AM

Oh No, get better soon.

Lola Bunny 11-23-2016 10:07 AM

How are you feeling today, Grav?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G850A using Tapatalk

footfootfoot 11-23-2016 11:52 AM

He lost an ear.

Gravdigr 11-23-2016 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lola Bunny (Post 974363)
How are you feeling today, Grav?

Well, I'm not sure. The unpleasant actions have ceased, but, now I have a mild headache (sinuses, most likely), a little bit of a stuffy head, and I feel like I've been hit by a truck. A big one.

I thought at first that I'd picked up the flu, but, I think it's just some bug I caught. I think it's packed its bags, though, and is on it's way away. It had me a little worried, because I just don't ever get sick.:fingerx:

Thanks for asking.:)

Are you looking for another car yet?

Gravdigr 11-23-2016 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot (Post 974373)
He lost an ear.

Fooooouuuuuuunnnnd iiiittt!

xoxoxoBruce 11-23-2016 01:31 PM

Well there goes your chance to be a famous artist. ;)

Lola Bunny 11-23-2016 01:44 PM

I just bought a new car 2 days ago. I'll post the picture soon. I'm heading off to work now. Glad you're feeling a little better. Now those bugs arses out of town, so they can't near ya anymore.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G850A using Tapatalk

Gravdigr 11-23-2016 01:59 PM

:D

orthodoc 12-02-2016 07:50 PM

I might be in for a whole new experience next week: live-in medical support during a work action.

If said work action takes place it will be with only a few hours' notice, and as I am contracted to provide medical services to the involved location I will be expected to live-in for 72 hours while the legal aspects sort themselves out.

I'll take a bag to work on Monday so that, if I am unable to go home at the end of the day, I'll have necessary changes of clothes to keep me going. It seems I'll get to sleep on the gurney in the emergency room of the on-site clinic where I currently provide services.

I am a little apprehensive about violence. There has been some in recent days, against property not persons, but things are still developing. I will cross my fingers and hope there isn't anything significant.

sexobon 12-02-2016 08:13 PM

A 30cc syringe with a 4-5 inch cardiac needle and maniacal laugh can be an effective deterrent at close quarters.

Hey, you never know when someone's going to tamponade. Best to be ready.

orthodoc 12-02-2016 08:23 PM

Good point. I was a Girl Guide (Girl Scout here in the USA) and all that.

glatt 01-18-2017 08:45 AM

House guests this weekend.

We agreed to three. (My brother, his wife, her daughter.) Welcomed them with open arms, even.

Then yesterday I got a whiff of the possibility that my sister wanted to come. And within an hour it was my sister flying in from NM, and my sister in law driving down from Ottawa with her two kids, my niece and nephew.

And then last night, I learned my 2nd cousin from Harrisburg was coming too.

That's 7 guests on top of the 4 who live here. Slumber party!

I just hope our house's old plumbing can handle it all.

footfootfoot 01-18-2017 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt (Post 979788)

I just hope our house's old plumbing can handle it all.

"If it's yellow let it mellow,
if it's brown flush it down."

glatt 01-18-2017 11:31 AM

"and eating a little fiber isn't gonna kill you"

Gravdigr 01-18-2017 11:52 AM

Of course there's always "Everybody!! GTFO!!".

Eh, family's cool, I guess. If ya got cool family. I do not.

Hope e'erthang goes smoove.

anonymous 01-18-2017 12:09 PM

Harrisburg east shore or west shore?

Undertoad 01-18-2017 12:16 PM

^ posted by me on the phone. For some reason it was logged in as anon

xoxoxoBruce 01-18-2017 12:39 PM

glatt, glatt, the diplomat
house full of family
he can handle that

glatt 01-18-2017 01:09 PM

No idea which part of Harrisburg. She's liberal if that tells you anything.

classicman 01-21-2017 12:10 PM

All there for the inauguration protests?

glatt 01-22-2017 04:45 PM

Nope. For the Women's March. It was a fucking awesome weekend and the plumbing held up just fine.

footfootfoot 01-22-2017 11:25 PM

You stud, you.

classicman 01-23-2017 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt (Post 980262)
Nope. For the Women's March.

Same thing :neutral:
I was going to attend the march in Philly until I did a little research and found out it was a basically a pro-choice event and opposing views weren't welcomed. My sister also re: the Washington one.

glatt 01-23-2017 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman (Post 980308)
Same thing :neutral:

Maybe you meant them as the same. But I thought you were talking about the protests the day of the inauguration where a bunch of criminal punks trashed my favorite Starbucks.

Glad to hear some of your peeps were doing the peaceful women's march too.

Gravdigr 01-23-2017 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman (Post 980308)
...and opposing views weren't welcomed.

Are opposing views on anything welcomed anywhere on this planet?

I don't think so, Scooter.

classicman 01-23-2017 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt (Post 980313)
Glad to hear some of your peeps were doing the peaceful women's march too.

Yeh, I know a loot of people who went to Philly or DC. They all said they had a great time and that they were overwhelmingly peaceful.

glatt 08-29-2017 09:36 AM

The bank lost my daughter's deposit she made a week and a half ago.

She deposited two checks from summer jobs, totaling about a thousand dollars. It's her spending money and book money for her first year of college. And of course when she went off to college, she cleaned her room and threw away the receipt of the deposit they gave her.

She had gone up to the window with her bank card and asked that the money be deposited into that account. They scanned the checks, and gave her a receipt. They must have put it in somebody else's account since there is no record of it ever being in my daughter's.

Not sure how this is going to pan out.

Luckily, I have the Estate's money in the same bank before I distribute it to the heirs, so they think we are high rolling customers they should take seriously.

We know the date of the deposit and the rough amount. Also who gave her the checks. That's about it.

Save those receipts people!

Griff 08-30-2017 06:42 AM

Yikes!

glatt 08-30-2017 08:04 AM

My wife was unsuccessful at the bank yesterday getting it resolved. There were a couple people trying to help her, but they had almost no information to go on.

She reached out to the people who had written the checks and even got images of the processed checks from one of them. So she is heading back to the bank today to see if this additional information and images of the cleared checks will help find the money. It's somewhere.

Ugh.

orthodoc 08-31-2017 06:58 PM

What a nightmare. I hope your wife had success today.

Pico and ME 08-31-2017 07:47 PM

Quote:

...and even got images of the processed checks from one of them...
THAT should work! Good Luck!

glatt 08-31-2017 08:20 PM

She checked her account today and the money was there!

Pico and ME 08-31-2017 08:21 PM

Thank goodness.

monster 09-01-2017 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt (Post 995009)
She checked her account today and the money was there!

was the apology that is clearly due anywhere in sight?

glatt 09-01-2017 07:59 PM

Ha!

glatt 09-01-2017 08:04 PM

Actually, I just asked my wife, and she doesn't remember an apology specifically, but the body language and tone of voice were all very apologetic and they may have said the words. They did thank her for her patience.

orthodoc 09-01-2017 08:32 PM

Great news. A major confidence-shaker on the bank's part, though - I'd have thought they would be a little more forward with the apologies. Maybe some light grovelling.

Flint 09-01-2017 08:40 PM

Glad it worked out. I'd ask for the specific steps they are going to take to ensure it can never happen again. Otherwise, how could I trust them with my money. Or.. anybody. Of all the people I know. Who bank here.

BigV 12-23-2017 02:04 PM

Apprehensive / too early to tell:

The biopsy results from my recent colonoscopy. That there were polyps to be removed is bad enough, hearing about them and seeing the pictures.... Whatev..

We shall see, in a week to ten days.

sexobon 12-23-2017 02:17 PM

Now you have to trade in your alcohol for green tea.

classicman 12-23-2017 02:24 PM

Well V ... not exactly that uncommon.

**This is the one time "Pics or it never happened" is NOT an applicable response... :/


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