"flicking the bean"

As you may all know, there are about ten trillion euphemisms for male masturbation, e.g. 'waxing the dolphin'. There are precious few such terms for female masturbation, e.g. 'clubbing the clam'.

Yes, yes, we've all heard the tripe about how "We don't talk about it, we just do it." That is about as believable as a guy saying he doesn't do it. Which may be why guys have ten squintillion terms for it, you need a lot of ways to talk about what you never do.

So what we are looking for in this thread are only euphemisms for female masturbation.

You know you talk about it, you say you do it.

So spill the beans, flicked or otherwise.

talking to the little man in the canoe

Hmm.

Actually, I don't do the "it" you're talking about--wrong plumbing. But I've heard "get yourself off", unimaginative as it may be.

polishing the pearl

'rub one out'

not too graphic, yet slightly nasty

Oh, come on people!

"Pat the bunny."

Rustle the Cabbage

Bush Whacking?

finger licking

How about:

Ridin' slidesaddle.

Yee-haw!

edit:

great. I thought I thought that one up, checked my link above and found it. Maybe I read it when I skimmed the article and it just slipped (!) my mind. Fine. Whatever, take it.

Hmmmmm....mostly men telling me what women don't say to men.
Color me sceptical. :eyebrow:

ahhhh a drunken night with radio people (us radio people can be weird)
came up with this gem my personal fav.(it makes it sound so regal and defined)


"Tickle Her Fancy" and I'll tell ya sometimes those little buggers are quite "Fancy"

Say what? hello.

gusset typist

I'm fond of the anime onomatopoeias "fap" and "schlick", myself. (q.v.. urbandictionary.com). It occurs to me that I'm probably one of the few Cellarites who have done both. :-)

Is "animetopoeia" a word? It is now.

For some reason 'whaling up the Thames' flashed into my mind

Cyclefrance wrote:

For some reason 'whaling up the Thames' flashed into my mind

Brilliant! Cycle!

MaggieL wrote:

I'm fond of the anime onomatopoeias "fap" and "schlick", myself. (q.v.. urbandictionary.com). It occurs to me that I'm probably one of the few Cellarites who have done both. :-)

Expert testimony. :D

hahahaha

My god, this is so funny

- Just to let you guys know, keep them coming.

'Rustle the Cabbage' is my fav so far!

"Keep them coming", Wendy? :rolleyes:

Flying Manual (hands)
Flying Automatic (vibrator)

Flipping the Flaps

Muff Ruffling

Parting the Petals

Digitizing

1 post would have been sufficient to hold them all. :eyebrow:

Probably...but I just put one, then I thought of another...then another...then I kept thinking of them, so I decided just to stop. ;)

OMG! a woman has her finger on The Button.

:lol2:

barefoot serpent wrote:

OMG! a woman has her finger on The Button.

Don't all women have their finger on the button at some stage?

Until you get about 50 yrs old, women have their finger on the button most ALL the time. ;)

Oh, I do, I do.

[YOUTUBE]JgEXRKIZRvc[/YOUTUBE]

Translated from French:

Playing a mandolin solo

Big V - good fun & all that, but she uses Pingu as a euphemism!
Pingu?!
Pingu is a penguin.
I spose he smells fishy, but that's about it.
(Although I adore the episode where Pingu is drunk and incontinent. No, really.)

And she misses out Tuppence and Twinkle.
Two of my favourites.
They don't rhyme well though.

I'll have to dig out my Profanisaurus to come up with some female masturbation slang.

Thank you, BigV.

That made my day.

It is my pleasure, GunMaster357.


so to speak.

Flick the bean? Does that mean Mr Bean has a new movie? Or that cops have staked out movie theaters looking for PeeWee Herman?

Stuffing the muffin.

Teasing Lady Margaret.

Rubbing one out with the Pink Pearl.