Tough love motivational platitudes
This could be under relationships or parenting, but ultimately they seem a sort of philosophy.
I am soliciting your examples of sayings you use or have heard from parents, grandparents, drill instructors, friends, coaches, etc. that were intended to give you a needed kick in the ass. Attributions are helpful. (e.g. my aunt Nellie)
A few I've collected to date:
"You can wish into one hand and shit into the other and see which one fills up first." (co workers grandma)
"If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between 'shit' and 'syphillis'." (David Sedaris)
"NO." (friend)
"Put it to music and sing it to someone who cares." (trad)
"Losers try and winners fuck the homecoming queen." (Sean Connery to Nick Cage in 'The Rock')
You get the idea. Not sympathy, but a "get a grip" kind of sentiment.
"Life is difficult" -- M. Scott Peck
Does this count?
"Yeah, you're pretty funny--but looks aren't everything."
My orchestra director used to say that one all the time.
"Life sucks, get a helmet." Dennis Leary
"Doing the right thing isn't always fun or painless, but you do it anyway. That's why it's the right thing to do." My grandmother.
"Pain heals, chicks dig scars and glory lasts forever." - The Replacments
"Fight your own battles" -- my parents
"It'll add character" -- my grandmother, speaking about the scar from my baseball injury.
"Go away boy, you bother me" -- Foghorn Leghorn
"There is no shortcut to success" - a book i have called moments
"Better an empty house than a bad tenant" - my great grandmother used to say this and as a rental manager in a busy real estate.. i use it as a "fire me up" every week at least! (but i think great nan used to say it after farting as joke :) )
My 7th grade Social Studies teacher, holding up his hand and rubbing his thumb and forefinger together - "Do you know what this is? This is the world's tiniest violin playing 'My Heart Cries for You' " - in response to another student whining that he hadn't had time to complete his Communism study worksheet. (The guy was one of the kindest, funniest, best teachers I've ever had the pleasure to know, BTW)
baseball- "Rub some dirt on it." I actually caught myself telling my kid to do this when she got hit by a pitch... it still works :)
"Pull up your skirt, Nancy" was an all purpose guy to guy admonition before the advent of PC.
"That's tough." -- my father, to just about anything
"Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!"-- my mother, to me, constantly.
I'm pretty sure it's impossible for one to acutally PULL themselves UP by their own bootstraps, but I keep trying.
"That's too bad, but did you learn anything?" my father, to encourage me to learn from my mistakes.
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Tell the truth.
"Eat it fast, eat it slow, after that you ain't gettin no mo." You're responsible for pacing and budgeting your own resources.
"Why are you asking me? You know the right thing to do."
"You won't say that once you've had children" - my Mum whenever I was grossed out by something (she thought I was too fussy).
"Its a lot colder in the garden" - my Dad when we were shivering and hopping around after getting up on cold mornings.
[QUOTE=Sundae Girl"Its a lot colder in the garden" - my Dad when we were shivering and hopping around after getting up on cold mornings.[/QUOTE]
My father is your father? :lol:
Separated at birth, I knew it!
"Its not what happens to you, its what you do about what happens to you" - my Mother.
"Wrap your heart in an alligator's hide." my Dad to me when I was upset over something that happened in school.
"I wish the whole damn world a Merry Christmas, but I see no need to send them all cards saying so." my Dad to my Mom when her Christmas card list had reached unmanagable proportions.
"stop being stupid"
--when Papa wasn't being mean...
"If a thing is worth doing, it's worth doing well."
Repeated over and over in: Euphonia And The Flood by Mary Calhoun. Also the mantra of my father.
One of my favirite books growing up.
"Losers try and winners fuck the homecoming queen." (Sean Connery to Nick Cage in 'The Rock')
"You're best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and (snog) the prom queen."
sorry for the correction, The Rock is one of my favorite movies
Whenever my dad has some little trick to doing something easier, he always say "Here, an old indian taught me this.."
"Never turn down a drink offered in friendship"- Dad
"I dont care what job it is, if its done well, its a beautiful thing to see." - Dad
"mummmmmm, nannnnnnnnnnn, neeennnnnene" (sound of zen-like, centering golf approach from Caddyshack) addressed to me when grandpa said something amazingly rude and racist that made me want to blow.- Dad
"It was dinnertime in Russia, Soviet" - Dad
"All the cow men knew her" - Dad
"If you don't have time to do it right the first time, How in hell do you think you can find time to do it again." Over heard on job once when boss asked a guy why he screwed up. Said he knew was a rush job and in a hurry.
"Tell the truth and shame the devil."
"Rub it." (After whacking some body part, head, hand, shin, etc.)
"Wrong nail!" Especially stoic remark made while hammering iron nails, mostly.
"That's a lazy man's load." Observing me trying to minimize the number of trips by taking more than I could really handle.
I miss hearing them in his voice. I hear them all the time in my own head.
How could I forget, the Classic: "No, I WILL NOT bail you out of jail. You'll just have to sit there and figure out how you got there!"----my dad, again.
You cry and I'll give you something to cry about -Pop
Here's a dime...call someone who cares -dunno
Because I said so -Mom
Engage brain before starting mouth -classic
What were you thinking?....oh nevermind, you weren't -Boss
A couple more:
"too soon old, too late smart" -my boss, attributed to her granma
"You'll always work hard, because you don't work smart"- my BIL
"How could this accident have been avoided?" – my BIL watching someone getting ready to be stupid
"he's got his head so far up his ass, he has to open his mouth to see where he's going."
"how about a knuckle sandwich?"
"you want some cheese with that whine?"
Thanks for the correction Bullit: The palest ink is better than the best memory!
Warch:
"It was dinnertime in Russia, Soviet" - Dad
"All the cow men knew her" - Dad
WTF???
Mari:
"I wish the whole damn world a Merry Christmas, but I see no need to send them all cards saying so."
I LOVE IT!
Another favorite of mine from my dad: "Boy, I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it"
Mari:
"I wish the whole damn world a Merry Christmas, but I see no need to send them all cards saying so."
I LOVE IT!
Thank you. My father had a wonderful dry wit. I miss him and his observations, both.
"Get your ass in gear."
"Drop your cocks and grab your socks." (I have never actually heard anyone use this, but I like it)
"But I thought..,"
interrupting, "I didn't tell you to think, did I? I told you to do ___."
sheesh.
Another favorite of mine from my dad: "Boy, I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it"
....and make another one just like you. :D
I'm not
John Beresford Tipton, sorry - Dad
"Don't threaten. If you are going to do something, don't talk about it, just do it." - advise from my ex-husband
"COME to hell!" my Dad when he was especially mad about something or at somebody, said in place of "GO to hell!"
"Just do your best."
Dad never watched The Rock.
An e-mail i got recently ,
Tough Love vs. Spanking
(a psychological conundrum)
Most of America 's populace think it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of "those moments."
One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk.
They usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together.
I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.
Sincerely,
My mom always used to say "sorry Charlie"
God I hated that, however, I have caught myself saying it to my kids more than once.
Another one of my mom's mom-isms was "because I said so". That is one that I happily use on my kids.
"You're one in a million. And on any given day there are eight more just like you in Manhattan."
My friend Nick, whenever someone got to feeling too impressed with themselves.
Adapt and Survive
...other half on moving to America
Opinions are like assholes; everyone has one and all of them stink.
A schoolmate of mine used to say this.
everything I ever did wrong was a "SHENANNIGAN".
"All the cow men knew her" - Dad
I love that.
yes, i know you are an only child. so was your older brother, until he pissed me off. no you will never get to meet him.
make your bed hard.... you're the one that has to lie in it.
you lay with dogs you get fleas.....my granny on chosing friends.
Life is a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less shit you have to taste.
from my Step-father, who smoked himself to death at a very early age.
You don't wanna wind up like me do you?
My uncle who always got drunk at the family reunions. (we all have at least ONE of them).
Not sure if I already posted this, don't think so:
Would you like some cheese with that whine?
"If wishes were horseshit, the whole world would be a garden" ~ My Father.
I like the way you think V.
"Get your shit in one sock and get moving"~ courtesy of the USN.