"Caught by Mom, Masturbating" NSFW

Mr.Anon.E.Mouse • Aug 12, 2005 7:12 pm
"Caught by Mom, Masturbating"

An excerpt: "I was laying on my bed one day when I started watching a dirty video my girlfriend had bought me. It was such a turn-on I started masturbating. I was going at it really hard, and was really getting into it so much that I forgot my mother was in the next room. As I was getting closer to coming I began to make some noise because I find making noises turns me on more. As I got louder and louder, my mum must have heard and thought I was in pain, because just as I reached the point of no return she hurried into the room to see what was wrong with me. I shot my load right on her stomach!!! She was so disgusted she couldn't look at me for days! I lock myself in the bathroom to masturbate from now on!"

And another: "Every year around Christmas we clean the house so it will look presentable for Christmas Eve dinner. Anyway, about two weeks before Christmas I was getting some decorations out of the attic and I found two tapered candles. I got an idea and set the candles aside for my private use. Later that night I broke out one of the candles and banged myself to orgasm with it. It felt so awesome!! In fact, it felt so good that I continued using the candle every day, sometimes more than once a day, for the two weeks leading up until Christmas Eve. On the morning of Christmas Eve, my mom was setting the table and she said, "I could have sworn I bought new candles last year. Where in the hell are they?" I didn't want to get caught, so later I slipped the candles back into a box of decorations while she wasn't looking. Needless to say, she eventually found them and put them in the upright candle holder on the dining room table! So on Christmas Eve my extended family came over because we always have dinner at our house. Eventually, my mom went to light the candles, but they wouldn't light (could this be from all the vaginal fluid that seeped into the wick). After many tries, my mom finally got the candles to light, but I guess vaginal fluid had seeped into the wick because it smelled like a rotten vagina as it burned!! My whole family started gagging and made faces of disgust, and my mom, still gagging, threw the candles away and my whole family looked very disturbed throughout the whole dinner. They didn't know it was me, but my face was red through the whole ordeal!!"

I'm sure you can top these stories! :lol:
Trilby • Aug 12, 2005 7:42 pm
How do we keep up with MOUSE?
BigV • Aug 12, 2005 7:48 pm
email mrs mouse.
Mr.Anon.E.Mouse • Aug 12, 2005 8:04 pm
BigV wrote:
email mrs mouse.



Oh, you! :lol:


:headshake
calsubgirl • Aug 13, 2005 3:09 am
I am a new member and have been in the bdsm scene for 12 years, but I knew I loved being spanked by the age of 7. I am a kind giving and loving woman, I am beta wolf and lost my alpha wolf. I love meeting at starbucks and I love only real time role play and d and s situations. I love your smiles and will use them. Thank u J
Perry Winkle • Aug 13, 2005 8:46 am
calsubgirl wrote:
I am a new member and have been in the bdsm scene for 12 years, but I knew I loved being spanked by the age of 7. I am a kind giving and loving woman, I am beta wolf and lost my alpha wolf. I love meeting at starbucks and I love only real time role play and d and s situations. I love your smiles and will use them. Thank u J


Excuse me? Baking powder?
SteveDallas • Aug 13, 2005 8:47 am
wolf? she's looking for wolf? H m m m m m m . ...........
grazzers • Aug 13, 2005 8:56 am
Wow, those are sooooo much worse than the traditional "opened my eyes to see a cup of tea by the bed" stories. Very odd.
richlevy • Aug 13, 2005 9:02 am
SteveDallas wrote:
wolf? she's looking for wolf? H m m m m m m . ...........

Don't go there :spank: :queen:

BTW Grant, what is the reference to baking powder about?
Trilby • Aug 13, 2005 9:18 am
Baking powder? = Beg your pardon?
wolf • Aug 13, 2005 10:46 am
SteveDallas wrote:
wolf? she's looking for wolf? H m m m m m m . ...........


[jedi]I am not the wolf she is looking for[/jedi]
wolf • Aug 13, 2005 10:47 am
Brianna wrote:
Baking powder? = Beg your pardon?


I think he's making a reference to a particular brand, Clabber Girl.

Just a guess.
melidasaur • Aug 13, 2005 10:54 am
Brianna wrote:
How do we keep up with MOUSE?


Once he starts law school, we will never see him again. :lol: Just teasing you, Mouse. You'll need to take a break once in awhile.
Clodfobble • Aug 13, 2005 11:48 am
wolf wrote:
I think he's making a reference to a particular brand, Clabber Girl.

Just a guess.


What? No! Come on guys, it's a quote from "Wayne's World!" The first half is "ex-squeeze me?" though.
wolf • Aug 13, 2005 11:53 am
You mean that movie I didn't see?
Clodfobble • Aug 13, 2005 11:54 am
I know, you weren't the right age when it came out. 1992 was such a good year for adolescent humor. :)
Elspode • Aug 13, 2005 1:47 pm
When did The Cellar get to be a trolling zone for BDSM?
Happy Monkey • Aug 13, 2005 2:09 pm
When wasn't it?
SteveDallas • Aug 13, 2005 2:17 pm
Elspode wrote:
When did The Cellar get to be a trolling zone for BDSM?

Were there other examples that I missed?
richlevy • Aug 13, 2005 5:46 pm
SteveDallas wrote:
Were there other examples that I missed?

You've obviously missed the subtext in Urbane Guerilla's posts. :p
Bullitt • Aug 13, 2005 7:51 pm
SteveDallas wrote:
Were there other examples that I missed?

"That's it, ball gags for everyone!" ring a bell?
:scream:
SteveDallas • Aug 14, 2005 11:06 am
Obviously.
Troubleshooter • Aug 15, 2005 9:10 am
Bullitt wrote:
"That's it, ball gags for everyone!" ring a bell?
:scream:


Hey, you leave my tagline out of this!
capnhowdy • Aug 15, 2005 3:15 pm
:headshake masturbation?.....well I never...........
wierd tales on that site.
How does one "stumble" across sites like this?

My little brother told on my older brother one morning at the breakfast table. He even included the spitting in your hand part. The room was filled with a scary silence until the housekeeper exploded with hysterical laughter. Then it was dropped instantly and never mentioned again. My mom did, however, confiscate the Playboy mags Bro had stashed. :mecry:
BrianR • Aug 16, 2005 10:33 am
Cap'n, you said the operative word..."stumble".

Some folks have discovered the joys of the StumbleUpon plugin for the Mozilla Firefox web browser.

Basically, it allows you to channel surf the web, hitting more or less random web pages that other people have liked enough to add it to the database. You preselect categories when you register (free, no spam) and create an account. This likely came from the humor category. Sometimes you find some interesting things there. and sometimes I also Stumble across something dumb like a Google search page.

The worst side effects are loss of sleep and a huge bookmark file.

Brian
cowhead • Aug 16, 2005 8:04 pm
I have nothing for this one.. other than.. I liked the story.. and uh.. hubba hubba (yeah I know there are a few kinks in there).. beyond that.. you don't want to know
eiffelenator • Aug 16, 2005 9:10 pm
Terrible, thought I got caught one time but she didn't see. Oh man...woulda been bad.
BrianR • Aug 17, 2005 9:08 am
I never got caught per se but I came close one time getting a BJ.

We were up in my room (door open) while our respective parents were outside socializing. One thing led to another and I wound up with my zipper down and...well you get the idea. I heard the distinctive creak of the top step and knew I would have less than five seconds until we were discovered. I could not stuff it back in that fast so I thought fast, grabbed her and sat her on my lap.

Mom peeked in to tell us that the food was ready and gave us the strangest look...she was bright red and giggling like mad sitting on my lap! She never found out exactly why though :D

Brian
mrnoodle • Aug 17, 2005 10:25 am
I was cheerfully wanking away one evening (at about age 14 - it was a newly discovered thing) when I discovered that just because you're in the bathroom doesn't mean no one can hear you.

My dad's voice was very matter of fact -- "Stop playing with yourself and get ready. We're late."

I was mortified at the time, but it's funny now.
plthijinx • Aug 18, 2005 4:11 pm
never busted but i did loose a 'zine stash or two
itzBoo • Aug 21, 2005 1:53 am
never got caught by my parents, but my mom did see a picture of my boobs on my computer. it was embarrassing
xoxoxoBruce • Aug 21, 2005 4:12 pm
I'd be glad to keep that picture on my computer for you.
Um...you know... so that can't happen again. :p
SteveDallas • Aug 21, 2005 4:42 pm
sorry
footfootfoot • Aug 21, 2005 5:02 pm
xoxoxoBruce wrote:
I'd be glad to keep that picture on my computer for you.
Um...you know... so that can't happen again. :p


You know Bruce I just searched and searched my computer and I'll be damned if I could find that picture. Maybe itzBoo could post it so I could be sure I didn't just pass it by. you know, as reference. :D
itzBoo • Aug 22, 2005 12:47 am
footfootfoot wrote:
You know Bruce I just searched and searched my computer and I'll be damned if I could find that picture. Maybe itzBoo could post it so I could be sure I didn't just pass it by. you know, as reference. :D

um...it's ok, i can keep it myself lol