France Nukes the USA

sproglet posted

A lot of people make the mistake of underestimating the French.
They've got big bombs, the Foreign Legion and enough arrogance to use both.

This got me wondering, if France nuked an American target, even by accident, what would we do? What could we do?
Nuking France puts a lot of other countries in serious danger. Especially Briton, Spain/Portugal and the Low Countries, down wind from France.

What would Bush do?
What would a normal person do in his place? :question:

define "by accident".

if they nuked us i think it is safe to say that we would wipe the frogs from the face of the earth. and we do not need nuk u ler weapons for that.

Biblical Justice??

The French are already Frogs ...

Mad Cow would count as a murrain in cattle ... did they have any cases there? (probably not a big issue since they'll eat horse).

Watch for more news on rivers turning to blood and taking of the firstborn sons.

lookout123 wrote:

define "by accident".

if they nuked us i think it is safe to say that we would wipe the frogs from the face of the earth. and we do not need nuk u ler weapons for that.

Rogue General or missed the Raimbow Warrior would be an accident.
Obviously we couldn't just push a button and obliterate them because of colateral damage to friends. ;)

xoxoxoBruce wrote:

sproglet posted
This got me wondering, if France nuked an American target, even by accident, what would we do? What could we do?

Send in the tanks. Why bother nuking them back? We outgun them with conventional weapons and I'm sure our boys would love a romp thru gay Paree as a sort of reward for all those tours they've been doing in Iraq.
Nuking France puts a lot of other countries in serious danger. Especially Briton, Spain/Portugal and the Low Countries, down wind from France.

xoxoxoBruce wrote:

What would Bush do?

Bush would invade Quebec and put its leading government officials on trial for crimes against humanity and cruelty to frogs for eating all those saute'd frog legs. There would be collateral damage to Calgary and Ottawa. When Canadians became upset about this, Bush would arrange for the Army to film a heart warming scene of a GI bandaging up the missing legs of a French Canadian school child who had thrown a spitball at a group of US soldiers at a checkpoint outside St Catherine's.

The French President, looking fit and tanned, would appear in a videotape just before the US 2008 election. He would demand the return of the Statute of Liberty. Nobody would be able to figure out where he was living in hiding, although a mountain looking suspiciously like the Matterhorn would be seen in the background.

xoxoxoBruce wrote:

What would a normal person do in his place? :question:

Blow up all of Europe. The EU hasn't been very co-operative with us, anyhow. It's about time we taught them a little lesson in etiquette.

Bush would invade Quebec and put its leading government officials on trial for crimes against humanity and cruelty to frogs for eating all those saute'd frog legs. There would be collateral damage to Calgary and Ottawa. When Canadians became upset about this, Bush would arrange for the Army to film a heart warming scene of a GI bandaging up the missing legs of a French Canadian school child who had thrown a spitball at a group of US soldiers at a checkpoint outside St Catherine's.

The French President, looking fit and tanned, would appear in a videotape just before the US 2008 election. He would demand the return of the Statute of Liberty. Nobody would be able to figure out where he was living in hiding, although a mountain looking suspiciously like the Matterhorn would be seen in the background.

y'know that is probably the funniest thing i've ever seen you post.

And close enough to reality to actually scare me a little.

But shoot, all we have to do is stomp our foot like you do to get a dog out of your front yard, and the entire populace would collapse in incontinent fear. The UN would have to mobilize an emergency diaper drop.

Send in the tanks.

All the tanks that were stashed in Germany have been sent to Afghanistan and Iraq. ;)

You're arrogant racists...

and you are a humorless prick. drop the superiority complex.

wait a minute? racist? how? most of us are white - so how is talking about our "hatred" of another white culture racist? xenophobic, sure. racist, no.

Pi you need to take a chill pill hombre.. first the Boy Scout homophobia crap, and now the French..

"I fart in your general directiooon!"

that was Pie, not Pi. there are two different posters involved there Bullitt.

heh.. whoops, apologies

I'd be surprised if anyone here nurtured an actual hatred of the French, Pi. It's more like a soccer rivalry, only for hygiene.

Bullitt wrote:

Pi you need to take a chill pill hombre.. first the Boy Scout homophobia crap, and now the French..

What do you expect? Pi is irrational. :lol:
Pie, however, is great no matter how you slice it.
- Pie

Pi wrote:

You're arrogant racists...

Pi, it was a joke. J-O-K-E I know we Americans have a crude sense of humor. Put our lack of refinement down to our lack of proximity to the French. Maybe we should annex Luxemburg after the French nuke us, and send our young there to learn some manners. Then the US could be a kinder gentler super power. :cool:

marichiko wrote:

Maybe we should annex Luxemburg after the French nuke us, and send our young there to learn some manners. Then the US could be a kinder gentler super power. :cool:

That'd be like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop..

Pie wrote:

What do you expect? Pi is irrational. :lol:
Pie, however, is great no matter how you slice it.
- Pie

AlaMode Baby. :love:

wait a minute? racist? how? most of us are white - so how is talking about our "hatred" of another white culture racist?

I'm not sure there is such a thing as racist. It's all simply tribalism. My tribe is better that yours, etc..

Every time I take a look at the cellar, I find a discussion in which you try to explain why you don't like the French and France and most part of Europe in general. It's rather disturbing and no sign of respect and tolerance. Even if you consider it as a joke!

me? I like the French.. after all I make my living doing their cooking.. good stuff.. and all I have to say, is that someone needs to nuke us.. well maybe not us here, but this country need a wake up call *ring ring uh fat bastard time to put down the mc. rib and walk a bit* (although I do have a guilty pleasure in the mc.rib) but our country has become a nation of fat lazy bastrds/beeyothes... let them flames begin I'll stand by this statement and take all comers.

do any of you play civ 1 or 2?

LCanal wrote:

It's all simply tribalism. My tribe is better that yours, etc..

For some reason the song IKO IKO came into my head...

My flag boy and your flag boy
sittin' by the fire
My flag boy said to your flag boy
"I'm gonna set your flag on fire!"

Hey now.

Pi wrote:

Every time I take a look at the cellar, I find a discussion in which you try to explain why you don't like the French and France and most part of Europe in general. It's rather disturbing and no sign of respect and tolerance. Even if you consider it as a joke!

It's a good thing you can't find the secret Luxembourg thread. :lol:
Lighten up Pi, if we really didn't like them, we wouldn't discuss them at all.

Every time I take a look at the cellar, I find a discussion in which you try to explain why you don't like the French and France and most part of Europe in general. It's rather disturbing and no sign of respect and tolerance. Even if you consider it as a joke!

see the french at least have thick skins - they can take a joke. hell, they deified jerry lewis.

luxembourg... apparently can't take it, so we don't have any open threads for you all - those are kept in the "members only"area.


[SIZE=1]now how manyof you cellarites said, "members only? HOT DAMN! i knew i kept that jacket for a reason"?[/SIZE]

Well, the answer to your question is actually simple. Let's go back to when the Japanese dropped bombs upon Pearl Harbor, what exactly did our president do when they did that? We nuked Japan right away, therefore, if the French ever nukes us by "accident"(a word that i dont believe in), Mr. President Bush will probably take on with a-bombs too.

wait...but how can we do anything if the rest of us will be dead by then I BELIEVE haha

and No one is racist in this forum! we love everyone :D

gotta love the legions. their training is the roughest in the world. even your american troops go over to train with them, only thing is, they leave, the legions continue. american troops hold weapons but the legions are trained weapons WITH weapons.

australian SAS troops are my favourite though. not just cause they protect my country, but they can accomplish any task you give them and do it well.

itzBoo wrote:

Well, the answer to your question is actually simple. Let's go back to when the Japanese dropped bombs upon Pearl Harbor, what exactly did our president do when they did that? We nuked Japan right away, therefore, if the French ever nukes us by "accident"(a word that i dont believe in), Mr. President Bush will probably take on with a-bombs too.

We didn't actually nuke them right away.. there was this little thing called "The War in the Pacific" that happened inbetween.

itzBoo wrote:

We nuked Japan right away,

Four years of R&D is not quite "right away."

We had to build them first.

And it's really a fascinating story.

If I may recommend, The Making of the Atomic Bomb.

And any of Feynman's memoirs.

Happy Monkey wrote:

And any of Feynman's memoirs.

I love Feynman's writing style. The bonus of reading his memoirs is all the additional cool anecdotes, e.g. the lock hacking stories.

the one screwed up thing about the american government at the time on the atomic bomb was that the scientists told them there was a slight (very very small) chance that detonating one of those things could ignite the oxygen in the air causing a chain reaction that could incinerate the earth. to which the american government replied "do it"
as small as the odds were. thats still a big risk. imagined the scientists biting their fists waiting to see if it would happen

eh. people once cautioned us that driving in an automobile at speeds faster than 38 mph would cause one's eyeballs to implode. the scientists were wrong then, they're probably wrong now...

Ok..it's obvious that I never passed My US history class llooll

Kagen4o4 wrote:

the one screwed up thing about the american government at the time on the atomic bomb was that the scientists told them there was a slight (very very small) chance that detonating one of those things could ignite the oxygen in the air causing a chain reaction that could incinerate the earth. to which the american government replied "do it"
as small as the odds were. thats still a big risk. imagined the scientists biting their fists waiting to see if it would happen

Actually, that thought has always fascinated me. I usually remember that bit of trivia if I happen to be down Los Alamos, New Mexico way. I imagine the physicists kissing their wives good-bye on the morning of the first test then going to stand on a mountainside somewhere and wondering...

The scientific detachment, looking at the blue sky, fluffy white clouds overhead, perhaps hearing the call of a meadowlark...

Waiting under the New Mexico sky...

For the end of the world...

Do you suppose they placed bets among themselves?

Kagen4o4 wrote:

... that the scientists told them there was a slight (very very small) chance that detonating one of those things could ignite the oxygen in the air causing a chain reaction that could incinerate the earth. to which the american government replied "do it"

Not quite.

The "atmosphere catching fire" was a speculation raised fairly early on in the development of the bomb by Edward Teller, I believe. They stopped work for a bit, put a team of theoretical physicist to work on the math, and decided that wouldn't happen.

By the time they were ready to go on the Trinity Test (July 16, 1945) that was no longer even a consideration. Even so, Manhattan Project lore states that a press release was prepared announcing the death of several dozen prominent physicists in an industrial accident of some kind.

Seriously, read the book I posted a link to earlier.

itzBoo wrote:

Ok..it's obvious that I never passed My US history class llooll

You never had an opportunity to learn this stuff in US history class ... it's not taught.

I thought it was cool and so I researched it on my own.

marichiko wrote:

Do you suppose they placed bets among themselves?

There were bets placed on the yield of the Trinity gadget.

Fermi won.

wolf wrote:

You never had an opportunity to learn this stuff in US history class ... it's not taught.

I thought it was cool and so I researched it on my own.

To wolf,
Yes it's being mentioned in the book, we've also learned about the us dropping a-bombs over japan, and the making of it as well.

If you got much more than "following a crash development program, two atomic bombs were dropped on historically and culturally significant Japanese cities after the Japanese had been virtually defeated," you had a very unusual history textbook and instructor.

No, it wasnt much into details. But it did cover the us dropping a-bombs. and etc. What we used as a textbook was that greenish cover US history book.

ItzBoo wrote:

What we used as a textbook was that greenish cover US history book.

Oh, that one. :worried:

I come from an era in which history books had red, white, and blue covers and had the founding documents printed on the endpapers.

We spent a lot of time on the endpapers.

Most "Social Studies" classes involved "World Cultures" ... you didn't get exposed to American History until your Junior year. American History ended at the Civil War.

There are many in education who, if the technology were available, cause American history books to drip actual blood. Be nice if the R,W & B ones were more in fashion.

i think the world has done well so far not to use nukes in wars since then. its like if boxers were going at it then one of the decides to kick the other in the balls a couple of times, saw the effect it had and decided "maybe this sport can do without that". even "terrorists" would think that using nukes is like a kick in the nuts. a slap in the back of the head isnt fair either but its a little more tollerable

wolf wrote:

I come from an era in which history books had red, white, and blue covers and had the founding documents printed on the endpapers.

We spent a lot of time on the endpapers.

Most "Social Studies" classes involved "World Cultures" ... you didn't get exposed to American History until your Junior year. American History ended at the Civil War.

Right on Wolf, I was a junior last year and had US history class.

Kagen4o4 wrote:

i think the world has done well so far not to use nukes in wars since then. its like if boxers were going at it then one of the decides to kick the other in the balls a couple of times, saw the effect it had and decided "maybe this sport can do without that". even "terrorists" would think that using nukes is like a kick in the nuts. a slap in the back of the head isnt fair either but its a little more tollerable

The countries (so far) having the capability have also had too much to lose. :cool: