Tales from the Nuthouse: Lest You Think I have a Really Suck Job
One of the entertaining things about what I do is that I never know what each night will bring me ... Will I track someone else's feces into my house, or will I be touched in some way, save a life, or hear about one ending? Sometimes this is all in one night.
Tonight I worked with a fellow who just hasn't been doing well lately. He's been back in the hospital with a quick turnaround time ... a couple of weeks ago he'd gotten out of another hospital that day and didn't last out the ride home with his case manager ... this time he'd been out for not quite two weeks, but wasn't maintaining well. His apartment was a shambles, he was dishevelled and malodorous (this means he looked scruffy and was stinky), and he wasn't making sense much of the time. So, we get him in, the doctor sees him, and decides to admit him. I now have to call his insurance company and see what I can do about getting paid for admitting him. We eat about a half-million dollars each year in unfunded treatment ... I'm the first step in the chain that lead to operating capital, so I do my darndest to get people authorized for treatment (if you've ever been to any hospital, not just a nuthouse, a good portion of the time you spend waiting has to do with someone arguing with your insurance company to get your treatment paid for).
So, I'm talking to the care manager at the insurance company, and give the patient's name. Her response is totally off the cuff, as it's a somewhat unusual name ... "You mean like [first and last name of nationally known murderer]?" "Yeah," I reply. "This is his brother. And he insists that his brother is totally innocent of the crime." "You're kidding me, right?" "Nope. Totally serious. Really is his brother."
Just as I'm finishing up on this fellow's paperwork, I get my next joy of the evening. An older woman who was religiously preoccupied.
I mean really religiously preoccupied. I was reminded of one of several evolution threads here.
Satan is at large in the world, you know, and first will come Armageddon. Well, actually Armageddon will come after the Great Tribulation which will precede it.
Okay, ma'am. Could you tell me though, what's the Great Tribulation?
(I don't think she actually knew ... she just told me to read Revelations. Apparently the whole deal is revealed there or something. I tried to get some more details on the scheduled date for Armageddon, but apparently she hasn't been given this information yet. It would be helpful for me to know, as I need to make a point of buying extra ammunition.)
Do you believe in Satan?
No ma'am.
Do you believe in Christ, and in his power?
Ma'am, I'm not a Christian. (she never, incidentally, asked me what I was. I wouldn't have told her anyway, as I don't think it's therapeutically appropriate. I won't lie to a patient, but that doesn't mean that I'll give them information that I think will set them off. Bad. Extra bad in this case.)
Do you believe in the Bible?
I have seen one, so I think they exist, yeah (yes, I did actually say this. set her back for a few minutes).
Do you believe in EVOLUTION? Do you believe that you came from an ape?? (see, I told you this was like the evolution v. creationism threads!)
Yes ma'am, but I don't think that there is any conflict between the Biblical account of creation, evolution, and the creation myths of many cultures including the Ancient Egyptians, the Celts, Native Americans, the Germanic peoples ...
(she seemed satisfied with this as well. It worked with this very unfortunately psychotic woman in four-point restraints. Why doesn't it work with you guys as a line of reasoning?)
Do you read the Bible??
Not lately ma'am. I've been reading the Koran.
She spent a lot of time praying very loudly and begging and pleading with God to make me see the light and come to Jesus. She was a bit upset over my advising her that I wasn't terribly concerned over not being forgiven of my sins through the power of Christ, but settled back down a bit when I told her that I did accept the existance of the historical Jesus.
Aw, go ahead and lie to 'em. Be what they want you to be. What happened to the customer is always right? :lol:
Falls flat in the face of "don't ever become part of a patient's delusional system."
Falls flat in the face of "don't ever become part of a patient's delusional system."
Are you saying that by strictly adhering to the truth, you're able to avoid this problem?
wouldn't they just believe what they're gonna believe anyway? I mean, isn't that part of the definition of delusional? How can your saying one thing or the other keep you on the right side of these tracks?
They believe what they are going to believe, yes, but working to keep the patient grounded in reality is part of beginning treatment. You also can't get into a pissing match with somebody over their delusions. It's kind of like walking a tightrope that occasionally moves unexpectedly. I guess what I'm really trying to get across is to say that you don't play into someone's delusions ... don't pretend to understand or agree with the conspiracy or whatever it is, because that WILL backfire.
It's really a lot easier sticking to the truth too ... you don't have to keep track of the lies. I also won't lie about little things like "The doctor will be right in to see you" when "right in" could be any period of time between 15 seconds and three hours. Most of the patients understand and respect that.
Wolf, you bring back memories for me. When I lived in Tucson, my temp agency had me working as receptionist/secretary for Pima County agency which did job counseling for mental patients with substance abuse problems (The emphasis was on getting them away from the substance abuse so that the underlying mental problems would not prevent them from living independently). So all day long I took phone calls from these poor souls or their supervisors, directed them to counseling sessions, and tried to be reassuring and keep them calm in the lobby while waiting for various doctors or social workers to see them. After a month the program director offered me a permanent job, telling me that I seemed to have a way with these people and a good grip on the work at hand while still being empathetic and friendly with everybody. I needed the work desperately, but I declined and told her I would have to be leaving instead. I explained that I would have to work 9-10 hours there and go home to the exact same situation for the rest of the day and night and I just could not handle it. My husband had alcohol abuse problems, his brother had died of an overdose, his mother was under psychiatric care, my father-in-law was adicted to Codeine and in a wheelchair, living on welfare, and my husband couldn't hold a job. (Of course this whole crew liked to get all incensed about how unfairly they were being treated and call our house to take it out on me and the husband, that is when the husband was not also taking it out on me). She said she was disappointed but understood perfectly.
There is only so much any one person can handle, no matter how strong they try to be. You have my admiration, Wolf, you are amazing. Hang in there.
There is only so much any one person can handle, no matter how strong they try to be. You have my admiration, Wolf, you are amazing. Hang in there.
My sentiments exactly. I worked in psych for only three years and crashed and burned. xobruce tells me there is a complete spectrum of nursing and I have been working the wrong end (for my particular personality.) It's not that I mind doing social work, I just would rather do it among the rich! ;) Dealing with nuts all day caused a major melt down for me. I admire wolf's dedication and compassion. I just couldn't do it anymore.
My wife used to do what Wolf does. She noted several instances of involuntary commitment by zealous parents of teenagers whose only psychological malfunction was being non-Christian. On many occasions, her pre-admission interview revealed intelligent, well-grounded kids, making good grades and characterized as being socially adept by their own parents. Their only "malfunction" was having the audacity to explore alternative spiritual paths, most particularly anything having to do with witchcraft.
Just one more area of the profound Christian bias in this country...and yet, increasingly, we are being told that Christian freedom of speech is being suppressed by activist judges...go figure.
Just one more area of the profound Christian bias in this country
Or, you know, the presence of some extremists in this country. The government wasn't committing them, their own parents were. Lots of parents are shitty in lots of different ways.
Paganism is not grounds for involuntary commitment in Pennsylvania.
Not on my shift, anyway ... ;)
When we get parents of bad teens in, typically the kids are majorly bad. Circumventing Columbine bad.
Or, you know, the presence of some extremists in this country. The government wasn't committing them, their own parents were. Lots of parents are shitty in lots of different ways.
The hospital has to accept them for the committing to occur...
O
(she seemed satisfied with this as well. It worked with this very unfortunately psychotic woman in four-point restraints. Why doesn't it work with you guys as a line of reasoning?)
Might have something to do with the restraints.
Drop me a line if you get that apocalypse warning; we can do a group purchase on the ammo. :-)
...Drop me a line if you get that apocalypse warning; we can do a group purchase on the ammo. :-)
Me too, I have a little room left on the credit card.
We can form a mutual reciprocity pact. Each can tell the other when the little voices tell us that it is time.
Drop me a line if you get that apocalypse warning; we can do a group purchase on the ammo. :-)
Maggie!!!! Hugs, honey! Long time no post!
Good idea on the group ammo thing. When you can have a full pallet drop shipped you can get a really good deal.
WB Mags, dave's not here any longer.
Might have something to do with the restraints.
Drop me a line if you get that apocalypse warning; we can do a group purchase on the ammo. :-)
Welcome back.
BTW, ordering a metric ton of ammo is a nice invitation to the ATF to try for a second Waco. :cop: :rattat: :flamer:
One of the entertaining things about what I do is that I never know what each night will bring me ... Will I track someone else's feces into my house, or will I be touched in some way, save a life, or hear about one ending? Sometimes this is all in one night.
Is this where you are thinking you have had enough, or was this just a more 'entertaining' week?
Have you ever had a patient where you can really just not see why he is so screwed up. just someone who you think - nope. no help for you, your born bad and you should be locked in a dark cell for the rest of your life. someone who you think - there was never any hope for you. cant see a good bone in your body.
Or is everyone saveable?
Have you ever had a patient where you can really just not see why he is so screwed up. just someone who you think - nope. no help for you, your born bad and you should be locked in a dark cell for the rest of your life. someone who you think - there was never any hope for you. cant see a good bone in your body.
Or is everyone saveable?
Some people are just plain broke in my opinion. This one kid we had come to us one evening was this skinny little white 14 year old. He'd been picked up down in the 9th Ward of New Orleans by the sheriff's department before he'd been shot. I was working with Big Al Laurent, 6'6" and 350, hence the big part. When the kid arrived on the ward he took one look at Al and yelled at the top of his lungs "Fuck you, you fat nigger!" Al's creole by the way. Yeah, the kid really knew how to make an entrance.
One of the highlights of the evening was when he ran and hid under one kid's bunk and we had to wake that kid up. It's really disturbing to the milieu to have to tell the paranoid kid on the ward that we were waking him up to pull another crazy kid out from under his bed...
Anyhow, back to the broke part, the new kid's mother was a deaf, schizophrenic, alcoholic, chain-smoker who had been raped by another resident of the institution she was sporadically required to attend.
You tell me, what is the likelihood of this kid turning out right?
No, not everyone is saveable. And not everyone I see is actually mentally ill. When a person is irreclaimable because of their own stupidity (drug users and criminals, for instance) I don't feel much for them. They did this, and they have to face the consequences of their actions, which are sometimes quite dire.
On the other hand, there are folks who are very, very crazy. They just are. Multiple attempts to stabilize these folks on medications have failed ... and often these are fairly bright people, folks that when they can grasp reality are pretty cool ... those are the ones who hurt.
These groups are usually separate from each other, but every now and then someone from group II will be an alcoholic or something.
There was a guy, Ross. Ross was someone that I saw if not every month, every other month. He was pretty mild mannered, drank like a fish, and became very suicidal every time he missed getting his testosterone shot (he had a condition called Klinefelter's Syndrome). It took us a while to figure out the suicidal/lack of testosterone link, but one we got it, it was one of those smack yourself in the forehead moments.
So anyway, poor Ross was not terribly functional. He was on welfare and SSD, hadn't worked productively in 30 or more years, and divided his time between the bar, his apartment, and the nuthouse. He had a few friends in the community, but was essentially a loner.
We knew Ross wasn't worth a whole lot to the world in the general scheme of things, but it's important to understand that we never treated him that way. And he let us know that he appreciated that care, and especially that respect that we gave him.
On one of his last admissions I was working with him and had let him out of seclusion to use the restroom. He emerged and I asked him to go back to the exam room, where I was going to lock him back up to wait for nursing to escort him to the unit.
He drew himself up to his full height (he was about 6'2") and said "no."
"Ross, whaddaya mean "no." You can't say no. You have to go back to the room."
"No, I'm not going in the room."
"Ross, if you go back to the room, I'll give you a cigarette." (bribery is an effective therapeutic tool."
"No, I'm not going!" (Ross, who was very soft spoken, actually shouted.)
"Ross, you're going to make me put on the gloves. You know I don't want to put on the gloves ..." (repeat patients know that prior to entering ass-kicking mode I put on a pair of black leather gloves)
He looked at me as I very deliberately and seriously reached into my back pocket for the takedown gloves. His shoulders drooped, his posture relaxed, and he truly looked defeated as he walked back to the exam room.
I went with him and sat with him a while, as he cried, telling me that he knew that he was a worthless piece of shit. I told him I didn't agree with him, and tried to help him regain what shreds of his dignity remained. And I gave him the cigarette. He cried at the thought that somebody gave a damn. Which I truly did. (I don't incidentally, get this way with all of my patients. some of them are one and done, some of the frequent flyers much less compelling. I couldn't survive if I did. You need to step away to keep doing this.
It was a month or two after that discharge that he was found dead, of an overdose that was believed to be accidental. He didn't leave much behind him in the way of a legacy ... few friends, no children, hadn't had contact with his parents in 30 or so year.
But I will always remember Ross.
Aw, Wolf. It must be so hard to detach yourself sometimes.
Not usually, which is why I can still do this.
Or If I care, I care for about 15 minutes and then I get over it.
You know, John Titor says that we should all know someone within 100 miles away and be ready to get there when the civil war breaks out this year.
If I promise not to proselytize, will you let me hang out witchyall? I'm voting slang, NBN and Wolf "the people I most wanna be friends with when all hell breaks loose".
Even I know someone about whom I can say ... "The world is going to end tomororw. X is ready for it."
Sure you can hang out. Proselytize away, I can use the practice.
So, what celebrity did you lock up tonight?
YAY! New Year's Eve Party at Wolfie's place everyone! Will that thing buy us all tickets out of the country, afterwards?
:celebrat: :guinness: :band: :bolt:
Oh, for the love of...
Finish it. ;)
Minor hijack: what's a John Titor? -- and why should we know him?
Purported time traveler. Google him, kind of an interesting bunch of info.
pete.
Pete? Griff has a Centurion card? :lol:
How do you think he got the goats?
How do you think he got the goats?
Many Cellarites are experienced goat-getters.
Pete? Griff has a Centurion card? :lol:
Shush. You're gonna tip off The Man.
Too late, Griff! The goat is already out of the barn. I believe it was last seen headed in the direction of Sunsparkz's place. ;)
Shush. You're gonna tip off The Man.
Too late...I'm already here.
Oh...sorry, bro. You meant THE Man.
Too late...I'm already here.
Oh...sorry, bro. You meant THE Man.
No. A man, you're excused. :p
[SIZE=1]
This was originally posted to the What I Learned Today thread, but someday I will go looking for it again, and I won't find it unless it's posted here.[/SIZE]
Today's lesson: There are psychiatrists in the world who are too stupid to be allowed to continue to practice.
wolf: Hello, suicide hotline, how may I help you?*
Dr Stupid: Yes, I need you to send someone out to see this patient of mine
wolf: We don't typically just go "see" someone. Why should we?
Dr. Stupid: Well, she left me a message early this morning telling me she was going to kill herself, and she hasn't responded to any of my phone calls.
wolf: It's 7:00
Dr. Stupid: Yes?
wolf: At Night.
Dr Stupid: So?
wolf: You didn't do anything other than try to call your patient?
Dr Stupid: No, what do you mean?
wolf: Did you call the police?
Dr Stupid: Why would I do that?
wolf: To check and see if your patient is not answering her phone because she is dead.
Dr Stupid: Oh.
wolf: Do you need the number for 911?
* This is the only line not an actual quote from the call. What I really say is "Emergency Service." None of the "how may I help you" crap on the initial answer of a call.
heh
heh
heh
oh my god
and I'm still laughing at "Do you need the number for 911?"
This sounds to me like a classic example of being unable to see the forest for the trees on the part of Dr.
I will probably never know.
That part of the job would suck for me. Never knowing.
Tonight was one of those truly interesting nights ... not the regular nut business, though. That was pretty run of the mill.
One of my cop buddies showed up just to show off some pictures. Completed suicide, residence awash in blood ... wouldn't be really remarkable, except that the guy had been dead for a month.
No, I didn't get copies. Sorry.
Did he bottle the smell, too? :greenface
Tonight was one of those truly interesting nights ... not the regular nut business, though. That was pretty run of the mill.
One of my cop buddies showed up just to show off some pictures. Completed suicide, residence awash in blood ... wouldn't be really remarkable, except that the guy had been dead for a month.
No, I didn't get copies. Sorry.
At one point I took a class in crime scene photography at a well known forensic school. For a while I thought it would be a good alternate career. Then I thought about all the images and smells I'd rather not have rattling around in my memory. I bet a little goes a long way.
Glad it was just pics, and not "scratch-n-snif".
Say, wolf...
I hope you weren't along for this ride. But you're not involved with the in-patents there, as I recall...
Funny how the Times Herald got though the entire article without actually mentioning NSH by name.
Not one of my patients, that's the actual state hospital.
Reporter could have been confused about which sub program on the grounds the patient came from. I did find it interesting that they didn't name the patient. That's rare.
When I worked as an ocean lifeguard in southern CA, we had a "dead" book of all the corpses that had rolled up on the beach. It was my favorite.
Tonight was one of those truly interesting nights ... not the regular nut business, though. That was pretty run of the mill.
One of my cop buddies showed up just to show off some pictures. Completed suicide, residence awash in blood ... wouldn't be really remarkable, except that the guy had been dead for a month.
No, I didn't get copies. Sorry.
Welcome to the Cellar, BabbleOn5. :D
I guess that book didn't have many autographed pictures.
A family brought a lady in last night. She was not really wanting to see the doctor, but agreed, just to please her family. My assistant came back from his interview, barely able to stutter out, "Oh man, she's crazy." Seems that Jehovah chose her for a mission, and she let my asst. know that he was among the Annointed.
Oh boy.
Probably not the best patient for me to deal with ... she likely had some Old Testament thoughts about witches.
So, I go out. She turns out to be the nicest person I've ever dealt with that was that far out there. She kept making reference to a variety of Bible stories that I don't remember, but luckily she believed that I was part of the tests from Jehovah, because although I knew the stories, of course, I wanted to make sure she understood them properly.
Oh, and I'm one of the Annointed too. Because of this her Angels told her to tell me everything, so I was able to complete my interview.
The Mission from Jehovah, is that this lovely young lady has been sent from Heaven to bring about the End of the World.
Everybody better get your affairs in order, because it's happening sooner than we thought.
Thanks for the heads up. Will we still have time for the last night of the local high school performance of West Side Story tomorrow?
Thanks for the heads up. Will we still have time for the last night of the local high school performance of West Side Story tomorrow?
???
[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=5][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2] When you're a Celt,
You're a Celt all the way
From your first dish of Haggis
To your last dyin' day.
When you're a Celt,
If the spit hits the fan,
You got Clansmen around,
You're a family man!
You're never alone,
You're never disaffected!
You're home with your own:
When company's expected,
You're well protected!
Then you are set
With a capital C,
Which you'll never forget
Till they cart you away.
When you're a Celt,
You stay a Celt! [/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]
Thanks for the heads up. Will we still have time for the last night of the local high school performance of West Side Story tomorrow?
That should be fine. Don't expect them to have an exceptionally long run, though. Jehovah is working on a short schedule right now. Many pressing deadlines.
A family brought a lady in last night. She was not really wanting to see the doctor, but agreed, just to please her family. My assistant came back from his interview, barely able to stutter out, "Oh man, she's crazy." Seems that Jehovah chose her for a mission, and she let my asst. know that he was among the Annointed.
Oh boy.
Probably not the best patient for me to deal with ... she likely had some Old Testament thoughts about witches.
So, I go out. She turns out to be the nicest person I've ever dealt with that was that far out there. She kept making reference to a variety of Bible stories that I don't remember, but luckily she believed that I was part of the tests from Jehovah, because although I knew the stories, of course, I wanted to make sure she understood them properly.
Oh, and I'm one of the Annointed too. Because of this her Angels told her to tell me everything, so I was able to complete my interview.
The Mission from Jehovah, is that this lovely young lady has been sent from Heaven to bring about the End of the World.
Everybody better get your affairs in order, because it's happening sooner than we thought.
Great job, Wolf. That is "active listening" at it's best. Seriously, good job.
But, I don't understand, if it's the end of the world, why do I need to get my affairs in order? It's only if the world continues do I have to have things straight when my time is over.
I have some other balls in play, so to speak, to try to fend off the end of the world.
Be just and fear not.
Be just and fear not.
On the other hand, you might want to get your affiars in order, damn the torpedoes, praise God and pass the ammunition!
Yes, for god's sake get your affairs in order.
If they get messy and overlap, they are likely to meet each other and it'll be the end of your world.:worried:
Speaking of nuts, just be glad you don't work with
this woman.
Cops: Bus monitor beat disabled adults
The Associated Press
June 23, 2006, 9:18 AM EDT
A bus monitor was accused of beating disabled passengers with a leather belt because she felt they were being rowdy.
Martine Barber, 26, of Manhattan, was arrested and charged with three counts of endangering the welfare of an incompetent or physically disabled person.
Barber allegedly hit the three developmentally passengers on a bus contracted by the Institute for Applied Human Dynamics' St. Jude Habilitation Institute in Tarrytown, police said. Barber told police that the passengers, ages 20, 21 and 30, were unruly.
Barber worked for the Tremont Ambulette Service in the Bronx.
Let me guess. It will turn out that the woman has no training and was working for less money than she could have gotten behind the counter at a McDonalds.
I am amazed that we put human lives and safety in the hands of people who are sometimes paid less and have less experience than the people who handle our trash.
That is so typical.
Several years ago SWMBO worked as a direct care provider for two men who had severe autism, one of whom was possibly retarded as well. The guys needed 24 hour care. A couple of the other staff members along with SWMBO were dedicated and ethical people who really put in 100% despite making less than they would at Burger King (truth).
Other staff members were not so ethical. One example was when one staff member wanted to play a prank on the other staff member at the expense of their charges.
The guys were on pretty strict diets, most importantly NO sugar or caffeine. The second shift gal had a grudge against the third shift gal who was an overnighter. She'd put the guys to bed and hang out all night to be sure they were ok.
On this particular occasion the second gal let the guys chow snickers bars and mountain dew all day, didn't say a word, and dropped the guys back at the home and left the third shift gal with a couple of boucing off the walls autistic men who didn't get a minutes sleep that night and were almost completely wild.
There was no point in the woman reporting it, the other woman would have denied it, there was no evidence (beyond her laughing about it with her compatriots). The place was chronically understaffed so they weren't gonna fire her, and if anyone went to the state about, they'd get fired for making waves. The company wanted these guys because they got extra money for them.
The owners of the company were immensely wealthy, btw and would frequently hire their own clients to do yard work etc., paying them some miniscule prison wage. For which the owners were reimbursed with a bonus by the state.
What a disaster.
Speaking of nuts, just be glad you don't work with this woman.
Let me guess. It will turn out that the woman has no training and was working for less money than she could have gotten behind the counter at a McDonalds.
I am amazed that we put human lives and safety in the hands of people who are sometimes paid less and have less experience than the people who handle our trash.
When people become more profitable, they'll get better care. Until then...mooooooo!!!
Speaking of nuts, just be glad you don't work with this woman.
Let me guess. It will turn out that the woman has no training and was working for less money than she could have gotten behind the counter at a McDonalds.
I am amazed that we put human lives and safety in the hands of people who are sometimes paid less and have less experience than the people who handle our trash.
S-a good way to get stabbed.
--snip--
Be just and fear not.
Thank you, wolf. You made my day, not to mention my new sig (first change to sig, evar.) :bows:
When people become more profitable, they'll get better care. Until then...mooooooo!!!
Oh they already are quite profitable. A big part of that profit comes from paying staffers minimum wage.
Open up a privately run direct care facility and within the year, you'll be farting through silk. Can't say the same for your staffers.
Thank you, wolf. You made my day, not to mention my new sig (first change to sig, evar.) :bows:
I am very honored, even if it's really Richard O'Brien's fault.
Tonight I declined an admission of a woman who is pregnant.
Not just because she's pregnant ... we've had plenty of pregnant women in the nuthouse. I declined her because she is due in three days.
There is no fucking way that I'm going to allow the mentally ill antichrist to be born in MY hospital on Christmas.
We had a near miss with that a few years back ... that crazy lady's name was Mary, so I was really worried, especially when I thought her water broke in my secure exam room.
[innkeeper]
... There is no fucking way that I'm going to allow the mentally ill antichrist to be born in MY hospital on Christmas. ...
[/innkeeper]
There is no fucking way that I'm going to allow the mentally ill antichrist to be born in MY hospital on Christmas.
LOL Thanks for the diligence.
I dunno wolf, you may have passed up your chance to be remembered for all eternity.
I have other irons in the fire for that. The nuthouse is just my dayjob, in a manner of speaking, since I actually work at night.
Aw, dude, I wanted to hear about the beginning of the end! Now you've ruined it for me.:sniff:
Tonight I declined an admission of a woman who is pregnant.
Who was trying to admit her, herself or a relative or court-ordered?
In this case, an obstetrician at a local medical hospital ... but all that doctor can do is request that the person be evaluated for psychiatric treatment. There are no automatic hospitalizations under the Pennsylvania law. Even if a judge "orders" someone to be in a psych hospital, s/he can't really. It's all up to the doctor's evaluation and recommendations for level of care. Other states do things differently, however.
When a family member wants to commit someone, they have to come to me, fill out paperwork, and I review it against the criteria for "clear and present danger as a consequence of being severely mentally ill." If I think the information meets that test, I sign a warrant. If it doesn't, I deny the warrant. I have the equivalent power of a Common Pleas Court Judge of the Commonwealth with resepct to issuing a civil body warrant to have someone brought before a psychiatrist against their will for evaluation for inpatient treatment. The doctor decides if the person stays in the hospital or goes home.
An actual judge doesn't get involved until the passage of the first 120 hours of treatment. Up until the end of that time, the treating doctor can file a request for extending treatment up to 20 additional days. The patient goes before the mental health court and usually is represented by a public defender, although they do have the option of using a private attorney. Handy hint: if you ever end up going to mental health court, take the public defender. Private attorneys don't know a darn thing about mental health law, and tend to excell at screwing up a perfectly simple case, and charging you $400/hour for the privilege.
There's a way to extend that further, up to 90 additional days. I typically don't have anything to do with those parts, although I know how the process works.
...There is no fucking way that I'm going to allow the mentally ill antichrist to be born in MY hospital on Christmas.
...
Don't you have a set of your own Omen knives,
Just for such an emergency?
In a manner of speaking ...
I have the equivalent power of a Common Pleas Court Judge of the Commonwealth with resepct to issuing a civil body warrant to have someone brought before a psychiatrist against their will for evaluation for inpatient treatment.
Have you ever been tempted to have some body locked up just to mess with them ???
Yes, but thankfully I don't live in her jurisdiction. :haha:
Have you ever been tempted to have some body locked up just to mess with them ???
I had to promise to use my powers only for good.
But yes, I do have an "in" with the doctors. I could make it stick.
reminds self to be nice to Wolf !!!!
In a manner of speaking ...
You can't kill the son of satan with that! Come ON!
You can't kill the son of satan with that! Come ON!
Did you not see the fedora in back?
You can't kill the son of satan with that! Come ON!
All depends on how you bless the bullets, sonny.
This security guard approaches me in a parking garage. He motions to this SUV parked across two spaces and demands to know what to do about it. Like I know?
He tells me he's got a weapon and 11 bullets.
So shoot out the tires I say.
He says the problem is, at the end of his shift he has to return all 11 bullets back to the powers that be.
What good does it do to have it if you cain't use it??
I had a friend posted on the DMZ (Korea). They had their own ammo stashed, just in case.
This security guard approaches me in a parking garage. He motions to this SUV parked across two spaces and demands to know what to do about it. Like I know?
He tells me he's got a weapon and 11 bullets.
So shoot out the tires I say.
He says the problem is, at the end of his shift he has to return all 11 bullets back to the powers that be.
What good does it do to have it if you cain't use it??
You have the authority to tell people to screw with badly parked cars? What the hell do you do for a living?
You have the authority to tell people to screw with badly parked cars? What the hell do you do for a living?
Hey, I'm a MOM, the highest (okay, second highest) authority there is!!
So, this man walks into a bank.
A lot of the banks hereabouts have started posting "No Concealed Weapons" signs on their front doors. Well, especially the Wachovia, which has a little picture of a pistol with one of those international "no" symbols across it, so I only take the AK when I do any banking there ...
So, where was I? Oh yeah.
A man walks into a bank.
And feels that he has to prove that he is not carrying any concealed weapons.
So he strips.
Naked.
Not even a wristwatch.
Bare-ass.
Which is exactly how the police brought him to me.
Apparently he wanted to prove he wasn't armed to them too. With any luck his short arm fires blanks. We don't need any more of these.
A couple of hours later the cops brought in a man with no feet.
No, that's it. There is no punch line.
He must have decided he didn't like the wheelchair he'd stolen from a Philly hospital (this wasn't the first time for him). He was dragging himself across the street.
Just wow, wolf! The things you see and deal with, don't think I could do it!
I expect one day, you're going to have to write a book.
Shhhh, I've already stolen all her stories. Gonna write that book, get famous on Oprah, then O is gonna chastise me when she finds out none of these things happened to me!
Shhhh, I've already stolen all her stories. Gonna write that book, get famous on Oprah, then O is gonna chastise me when she finds out none of these things happened to me!
I don't think that's a wise idea ...
I have the equivalent power of a Common Pleas Court Judge of the Commonwealth with resepct to issuing a civil body warrant to have someone brought before a psychiatrist against their will for evaluation for inpatient treatment. The doctor decides if the person stays in the hospital or goes home.
I do have an "in" with the doctors. I could make it stick.
...and thats before we even get to her personal armory, and any mystical powers she may have to boot.
Well, when you put it that way!:bolt:
I have the equivalent power of a Common Pleas Court Judge of the Commonwealth with resepct to issuing a civil body warrant to have someone brought before a psychiatrist against their will for evaluation for inpatient treatment. The doctor decides if the person stays in the hospital or goes home.
What a great responsibility. I pray for wisdom for you.
I expect one day, you're going to have to write a book.
I'm working on it. My boss who went crazy was going to do that, but well, he went crazy and stopped showing up to work, so somebody has to take up that particular mantle.
What a great responsibility. I pray for wisdom for you.
Thank you. Just so you know, I do the same.
I missed this thread.
There's a companion piece..... My boss who went crazy was going to do that, but well, he went crazy and stopped showing up to work...
Uh-oh.... it's contagious?
I'm working on it. My boss who went crazy was going to do that, but well, he went crazy and stopped showing up to work, so somebody has to take up that particular mantle.
...There's a companion piece.
Which mantle:eyebrow: ?
I mean, I should know, right? I am a professional ... Incidentally, this is the replacement boss for the boss who went crazy and just stopped showing up to work.
He comes in yesterday and starts telling us all about this dream he had the night before.
You know that commercial for the flea and tick medicine, with the really cute yellow puppy at Summer Camp? And he goes around singing "There ain't no bugs on me, there ain't no bugs on me, there may be bugs on some of you mugs, but there ain't no bugs on me." That one.
So anyway, he has this dream were all the patients in the Center Hall organize a revolt. This is very far from the truth. The nuts on Center Hall couldn't organize their way down to the Cafeteria, much less manage a revolt.
So, anyway, havoc is breaking loose, and they all break out in song ...
There ain't no meds in me
There ain't no meds in me
There may be meds in some of you SPEDs,
But there ain't no meds in me.
That's how my week is going.
Seriously.
I give it an 8. It's got a good beat, you can dance to it.
Maybe crazy is contagious to some. All those bad vibes hanging in the air.
Perhaps this boss has something up his sleeve that his predecessor didn't. Scrutinize your benefits Long Term Disability policy for a "psych" clause that would allow him to just stop showing up for work while still collecting 60% of his wages for mental disability. He knows you'd be a credible witness. :D
I'm with noboxes here - perhaps you could learn something from these guys?
[by the way -WB Wolf :D ]
When a family member comes in to file commitment papers, we make them fill out a demographic information sheet.
I have one in my hands that lists the patient's race as "Afro-Italiano."
Franco Harris finally blew that gasket eh?
Bastard ken of chef boyardee? :)
There's a demographic for ya!
Tonight I was interviewing a young man who came in for an evaluation. He was one of those scary-intense kind of people that make you want to sit with your back to the wall. Instead of leafing through the pile of not terribly stale magazines in our lobby he was reading a book he had brought along.
Catcher in the Rye.
I could not make this stuff up.
and that concerns you...how?
Crazy people, especially young men, have a tendency to think that book is the most amazing piece of insightful literature ever.
And it has more of a draw for its notoriety than its actual literature.
I thought it sucked, but maybe that was because it was required reading.
I was okay with the character as a flawed character, especially since this point was driven home in the final chapter where he finally starts to show signs of growing up. What I couldn't stand were the people who thought the character was supposed to be a complete protagonist who had all the right ideas. The kid was a tool.
THANK GOD! I thought I was the only one on earth who didn't find that crappy book "delightful."
Maybe the mental health field should create a new standard for evaluating the mentally ill. Do like they do for chimps and present two literature pieces down on a table and if the person picks up the 'Catcher in the Rye' then we'll know just how disturbed they really are for choosing such a crappy book.
I enjoyed it when I read it in freshman high school English class, but I found its charm diminished quickly as I got older.
In the movie Conspiracy Theory, Mel Gibson's character is always compelled to buy Catcher in the Rye when ever he sees it.
Also,
Mark David Chapman who murdered John Lennon, and John Hinkley the man who attempted to assassinate Ronald Reagan but failed were both found with copies of The Catcher in the Rye.
After killing John Lennon on December 8th, 1980, Chapman dropped the gun and proceeded to take out a copy The Catcher in the Rye, and calmly started reading, while waiting for the police to arrive. When police entered the apartment of John Hinkley, they found a copy of the book on his coffee table.
Also, if I'm not mistaken, Chapman told police, "If you want to know why I murdered John Lennon, read The Catcher in the Rye."
In The Good Girl (a wonderful indie film) Jake Gyllenhaal's character, Thomas "Holden" Worther, thinks himself the incarnation of Holden Caulfield. He's about a half bubble off plumb, as well.
He's about a half bubble off plumb, as well.
:lol2:
It was so long ago, I don't remember much of what he said, but Will Smith has a really long scene talking about Catcher in the Rye in the movie Six Degrees of Separation. I remember that it was interesting.
The movie "Field of Dreams" featured a reclusive author (played by James Earl Jones). The movie was based on a book called "Shoeless Joe" by W. P. Kinsella. In the book, the narrator/author has always been struck by the fact that a character with his name has a cameo in Catcher In The Rye. In the book, the reclusive author is actually J. D. Salinger. I understand it was changed in the movie due to legal issues.
I thought I hated Catcher when I first read it (I was far too young to read it) and then, when I was old enough to read it, it just sounded dated. THEN I read Frannie and Zooey and loved that....then I read Raise High the roof beams and threw the book across the room by page four. Whaddya gonna do?
I like Esther Greenwood as a Catcher type person---but she's dated as hell, too. At least she goes really crazy, though. I always got the feeling Holden was laughing at me as a reader....but, that's just me and my cocaine induced paranoia talking.
So, I was dealing with this teenager and her parents. I don't even remember at this point what was wrong with her. It really wasn't that spectacular. Relatively normal teenage stupidity, with some minor drug use for flavoring, probably. The specifics aren't important. I was talking to her insurance company, trying to convince them why my hospital should get paid for dealing with her. I found myself saying to the insurance company care manager, "Well, what it comes down to, really, is that these people do not need Dr. Tim (our shrink d'jour). They need Dr. Phil."
~~~~~~~~|~~~~~~~~
Phone call from last night
wolf: Emergency Service.
caller: Oh, I have a wrong number. Is Jeffery Smith there?
wolf: (*transfers obvious blonde without further comment*)
OK, I was an English major who read Catcher in high school and liked it. Send the nut wagon.:nuts::cop:
Seriously, back then there wasn't a lot of good fiction about teen angst.
Plus, any book that so many people want to burn or ban must be good.
It is 2326 hours on 10-23-2008.
One of my patients has just walked in the door.
Why, you may wonder?
Because she is upset over the Phillies' performance in Game #2 of the World Series.
Yes, really.
She started crying uncontrollably, and also realized that her medications aren't working.
All because of the Phillies.
The Curse of Billy Penn reaches all the way out here to the suburbs.
You have a patient who is self-aware enough to accurately realize when her medications aren't working? And calmly brings herself into the building?
I didn't know those existed in your line of work.
I would say calmly exactly.
We do have a couple of folks who do know when they are not doing well and show up on their own.
Most of them get dragged in screaming and kicking.
And then there's a bunch who come in when they are doing well, but they're just looking for three hots and a cot.
Frankly the "I'm upset over the Phillies losing" lady is one of the latter, but I have to applaud her creativity tonight.
-sighs- I usually get taken in when I know I'm not doing too well but am too stubborn to admit it and go myself. But fortunately that necessity is rather rare... maybe once a year...
Tomorrow (Thursday) morning, I am going to get to take a tour of the Forensic building that is down the street from my hospital. It's a specialty prison unit for the Criminally Insane.
I did take a tour there 15 or so years ago, but at that time we weren't permitted on any of the occupied units. They just put us all in a ward room that was part of an unoccupied unit that was being renovated.
I don't think they have anybody notable there right now, but a few years ago they housed John DuPont while he was awaiting trial (he was considered too high security for us ... ordinarily we get Delaware County Prisoners who are mentally ill), and I believe that Sylvia Segrist ended up there after the Springfield Mall Shooting in the 1980s.
I wasn't even aware that they were going to allow a tour ... one of my cow orkers who moved into our Criminal Justice Department called me the other night because he thought I'd be interested and he saved me a slot. They're only letting ten people in, apparently.
That will be very interesting, wolf. Please submit a report afterward. I toured a place in Lima OH in college (psych major) but I don't remember what it was...I do remember thinking I didn't think I had what it takes to do the kind of job you do...I'm too wimpy. But I still find it all fascinating, how the mind can work.
Christmas brings families together.
Sometimes it doesn't go well.
Especially when the identified family psycho clocks her retarded cousin with a snow globe.
This is how you get to meet Sanity Clause.
I suppose that's just a small bit better than if Christmas is when the unidentified family psycho gets identified. (Speaking of psychos, I'm reading Carrie Fisher's new book.)
Tomorrow (Thursday) morning, I am going to get to take a tour of the Forensic building that is down the street from my hospital. It's a specialty prison unit for the Criminally Insane.
I did take a tour there 15 or so years ago, but at that time we weren't permitted on any of the occupied units. They just put us all in a ward room that was part of an unoccupied unit that was being renovated.
I don't think they have anybody notable there right now, but a few years ago they housed John DuPont while he was awaiting trial (he was considered too high security for us ... ordinarily we get Delaware County Prisoners who are mentally ill), and I believe that Sylvia Segrist ended up there after the Springfield Mall Shooting in the 1980s.
I wasn't even aware that they were going to allow a tour ... one of my cow orkers who moved into our Criminal Justice Department called me the other night because he thought I'd be interested and he saved me a slot. They're only letting ten people in, apparently.
So how did it go? Give us a play by play. Should have been interesting.
We have a new ward clerk.
She's clueless.
I mean, like, really.
The guys like looking at her. Blonde, big hoots, apparently doesn't know her actual clothing sizes and keeps buying things that are too small.
The guys do not like talking to her because she is as dumb as the post that she should be dancing next to.
Oh, and she's rumored to be Amish. Yeah, that kind of Amish ... bonnets and buggies, Kelly McGillis in Witness Amish. I don't know how, she must have gone on Rumspringe and never went back.
She actually said something funny last night.
We got this dude, he's an old pillhead. Games ERs for pain meds, carefully simulates a number of chronic and acute pain conditions.
She came out looking for some of his property and asked, "you know that new admission guy, the one who looks like Gollum?"
Well, as it happens, he does.
If that wasn't funny enough, one of my cow orkers says "Smeagol wants it, needs it, Oxycontin, yessss."
ah, wolf. How I envy you.
some little bits I recall from being on both sides of the desk:
a woman talking with her therapist about whether the doc was correct in his diagnosis (of her bipolarity) "Well, with that doctor, I take everything he says with a grand of salt,"
A 20-something schizo, on being told the refridgerator was unlocked: "that's probably not a good idea. I'm a compulsive thing-taker."
Replying to the question of how this man found himself at the State hosp.: "I really don't know. I just went to the police station to get a restraining order against God."
Replying to the question of how this man found himself at the State hosp.: "I really don't know. I just went to the police station to get a restraining order against God."
:lol2:
Wolf. Click the link, sixth frame down. Click the video. I think I found one of your patients. :lol2:
http://creativedisease.com/index.htmIf a Mormon marries a woman with multiple personality disorder, is that considered polygamy?
Yes, of course this is based on a real life situation. Sort of, I mean. She wasn't married.
If a Mormon marries a woman with multiple personality disorder, is that considered polygamy?
Yes, of course this is based on a real life situation. Sort of, I mean. She wasn't married.
I vote 'yes' on the polygamy. It's not as much fun as you'd think, though.
I vote 'yes' on the polygamy. It's not as much fun as you'd think, though.
I watch Big Love. I know.
For the first time in the history of policing ...
An officer will return to the station and tell his Sergeant, "Well, Sarge, you won't believe this, but the suspect, he was a real 96er, Sarge, and I put him in cuffs and he started banging his head onto the hood of my brand new cruiser, all on his own, and that's why the hood has five big dents in it."
And the officer has car-camera video to prove it.
Suggest to 'em that they stash the video and tell the insurance company it was hail damage! :rolleyes:
Yesterday I got to see our criminal justice system at work.
Or not work.
There is a lot of waiting around involved.
On the upside, I got to hear a police sergeant tell funny true stories.
He's a real cop. He says you're not a real cop until you've been suspended, sued, and divorced. He has also been hung in effigy. I had seen the effigy, but didn't know it was he.
Anyway, I had to tesify at a trial for the drugs I found. This one was for the recipient.
They forgot to bring him from the jail. So that meant waiting another two hours until the sheriffs brought him down from the county.
Pre-trial testimony prep is not like you see on Law and Order. I did not meet with the ADA in a nice office. I stood in a hallway and she gave me a printed sheet of the questions she was going to ask me, with answers filled in, pretty much based on my initial witness statement to the police.
I ended up not having to actually testify. Probably just as well. We were heading in towards lunchtime and the judge wanted to wrap things up. Prisoner pled to some lesser offence to avoid a two year minimum manditory sentence for contraband.
I go to a preliminary on the one who smuggled in the drugs next week. At least that one's at the District Justice's office that's down the street from my house. I get to sleep in. For this one I had to be up before 7am, and at the courthouse by 8:30, was stuck there until past noon, never got any sleep ... I can't nap. So by the end of my shift my butt was dragging something awful. And it was busy.
But all the time at the court was OT, so that's something.
So, I'm dealing with this kid, 19 years old. He's not merely gay, he's a complete screaming queen. Lisp, limp wrist, lilty voice, glided across the floor when he walked, wearing more Silly Bandz than the average tween girl. So flamey I feared the couch would catch fire.
So, he sashays into the interview room with me. I start by asking, "Your paperwork says your name is 'Charles.' Are you are a 'Charles,' 'Chuck,' 'Chas,' or something else?"
"Nibbles."
"What?"
"They call me Nibbles."
"Young man, I cannot call you Nibbles. Let's just stick with Charles."
So, I'm dealing with this kid, 19 years old. He's not merely gay, he's a complete screaming queen. Lisp, limp wrist, lilty voice, glided across the floor when he walked, wearing more Silly Bandz than the average tween girl. So flamey I feared the couch would catch fire.
So, he sashays into the interview room with me. I start by asking, "Your paperwork says your name is 'Charles.' Are you are a 'Charles,' 'Chuck,' 'Chas,' or something else?"
"Nibbles."
"What?"
"They call me Nibbles."
"Young man, I cannot call you Nibbles. Let's just stick with Charles."
This is the funniest story I've heard in quite some time! :lol:
"They call me Nibbles."
Something tells me they don't call him Nibbles because he's always snacking on something... (unless that's what you wanna call it)
:eyebrow:
Are you sure he didn't say Nipples? :D
So, I'm dealing with this kid, 19 years old. He's not merely gay, he's a complete screaming queen. Lisp, limp wrist, lilty voice, glided across the floor when he walked, wearing more Silly Bandz than the average tween girl. So flamey I feared the couch would catch fire.
So . . . "Young man, I cannot call you Nibbles. Let's just stick with Charles."
We've got a local trial upcoming of the guy who shot a kid that was a lot like Nibbles. I think a lot of very ugly stuff is going to come out about both the shooter (a juvenile) and his none-too-functional family... something like John Belushi and those mashed potatoes.
There was a kid who worked at the Speedway for a while, who was like that. I loved this kid, he was always cracking me up. One day I went in and they were particularly busy and he just kept saying (in that voice) "This is OUTRAGEOUS. Where are they all COMING FROM?"
I think that was the last I saw him there. :)
I had a Chihuahua named Mr Nibbles. He like to nibble my ankles to get my attention. No tooth marks just a friendly reminder that he was on the floor "pick me up!" :)
I just read an article about a guy who got drunk and passed out and his dog nibbled his toe right off. He ate the whole thing.
I read that article. The dog saved his life, apparently.
But has now had the taste of human flesh.
I wouldn't sleep in that guy's house.
(and yes, I'm sure it wasn't nipples.)
You never know what kind of impact you're going to have on someone.
There's this guy, I'll call him Dave.
Dave is a classically crazy guy. Hears voices, has difficulty understanding and participating in interpersonal interactions, all that, but he's a nice guy.
As I went into work last Wednesday, who do I walk past in the lobby, but Dave.
After I was on the clock, I sat out on the couch to chat with him for a little while, catch up on how things where going, and all. I wasn't working with him, just chatting.
He remarked, as a lot of our frequent flyers do, on how long I'd been working at the nuthouse, and started talking about the first time we met. He remembered a lot of details about that day on the unit, which for me, honestly, was just one of a bunch of days on the unit. I mean, I remembered Dave and all, but no real specifics. He mentioned that I had been wearing a hat from a concert that I had gone to ... I remember the concert, and I had remembered the hat. What I didn't remember was this ...
He remarked that it was common in those days (about 16 years ago) for nursing staff members to spend their time on the unit talking to nursing staff members, except for the time that they were supposed to spend interviewing their caseload of patients. What Dave said was that I didn't do that. I spent my time talking to the patients ... and when he asked me about that, I told him that I wasn't there to talk to my cow orkers, I was there for the patients, who came to the nuthouse because a lot of the time they didn't have anyone else. He said that was very important for him ... that he knew that I really cared.
So, you never know how you're going to touch people. Be mindful of that.
I'll bet that felt good, Wolf. I'm proud to know you.
So it's your fault, they keep coming back to see you. :haha:
Didn't Heart sing about that?
I took a call of an elopement from the State Hospital last night. "Elopement" is a nice way of saying "Security didn't notice a patient was missing."
This happens relatively infrequently, and usually doesn't involve the sort of manhunt for a dangerous maniac that you see in movies.
Usually they turn up. Sometimes a nut just really wants to wander around for a bit, have a Dunkin' Donut, or grab a quick adult beverage at a nearby watering hole.
The notice consisted of the patient's name, and a description:
"Last seen wearing a brown trench coat and black ballerina tutu."
So, I guess sometimes it really is like the movies.
Hey, who doesn't want a donut every now and again?
:D and I like that use of "elopement"
Yesterday, I saw something I thought was nice at our local grocery.
A customer placed all of her groceries on a check stand that had no cashier.
My cashier called her by name three times asking her to come to his register
The woman had a blank stare and didn't move.
My cashier then called for assistance by saying: "We have a "lost customer" at stand #4"
From nut house to donut house and back
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I took a call of an elopement from the State Hospital last night. "Elopement" is a nice way of saying "Security didn't notice a patient was missing."
This happens relatively infrequently, and usually doesn't involve the sort of manhunt for a dangerous maniac that you see in movies.
Usually they turn up. Sometimes a nut just really wants to wander around for a bit, have a Dunkin' Donut, or grab a quick adult beverage at a nearby watering hole.
The notice consisted of the patient's name, and a description:
"Last seen wearing a brown trench coat and black ballerina tutu."
So, I guess sometimes it really is like the movies.
There but for the grace of Thorazine...
Sometimes there is no suitable response to visions of tutu's and donuts tucked away in a long trench coat.
I wasn't wearing a tutu, it was a muumuu!
So wolf, have you put up a sign outside your office door that says "Nutcracker Suite"?
If not, maybe you can print this out and tape it to your desk or monitor:
[ATTACH]30199[/ATTACH]
No, but we do have a sign that says "Empathy Free Zone."
How about a cuckoo clock?
We briefly had a box of Cocoa Puffs, but the boss noticed.
Two years ago in the land of no fun, someone brought in an honest to goodness leg lamp for our Christmas display. It could NOT be seen by patients or visitors.
One of the bosses found it offensive, having never seen the movie. Our cries of "But it's a major award!" went unheeded. The light went out and never came back on.
She didn't think it was funny when someone hung luncheon meats on the administration tree, either. That's referred to as the Salamity incident (she was so incensed she was unable to separate the words "salami" and "calamity").
Our family's favorite X-mas movie.
"You'll shoot your eye out"
On stage here in town.
'A Christmas Story: The Musical' Hits The Stage In Seattle
Christmas just wouldn't be the same without a marathon of the classic A Christmas Story. If nothing else, the movie taught an entire generation that sticking your tongue on a frozen flagpole isn't the best idea.
Now the movie has been turned into a musical for the stage, being executive produced by none other than Ralphie himself, Peter Billingsley. A Christmas Story: The Musical! includes an original score by Broadway composers Benj Paske and Justin Paul which Billingsley hopes will help the show become as popular as the original film.
He recently explained why he was so interested in the project, saying, “I’m excited to bring this film to the stage because the story and the characters lend themselves so well to the world of musicals… Just think about the idea of a leg-lamp kickline.”
A Christmas story: The Musical! is making its debut this month at the 5th Avenue Theatre in Seattle. The show runs through December 30, 2010 with performances each day, except for Dec. 24 and 25. Tickets range from $23 to $68 and can be purchased online at 5thavenue.org.
i can only imagine the things you go through at work wolf. the average IQ in the tdcj is 85. and i believe it. seen it. been there and unfortunately bought the t-shirt. some stories though are funny as hell!
You seem to think you have a lot of "t-shirts".
You seem to think you have a lot of "t-shirts".
lmao! yeah, i do don't i? dang it!
We had the big customer service meeting. Someone who didn't attend asked what the essential message was.
I said, "She said, 'Be excellent to each other.'"
The 26 year old blinked blankly. (she mostly blinks blankly, she's not really swift, but she is very thin and young so that gets her through most situtations).
My partner, who is approaching fifty with me, looked at me and said, "You summarized an hour long meeting by quoting Bill and Ted?"
I finished the conversation by strumming my air guitar.
Nothing more needed to be said.
I couldn't do what you do, but gawd you'd be a hoot to work with!
We had the big customer service meeting. Someone who didn't attend asked what the essential message was.
I said, "She said, 'Be excellent to each other.'"
The 26 year old blinked blankly. (she mostly blinks blankly, she's not really swift, but she is very thin and young so that gets her through most situtations).
My partner, who is approaching fifty with me, looked at me and said, "You summarized an hour long meeting by quoting Bill and Ted?"
I finished the conversation by strumming my air guitar.
Nothing more needed to be said.
Sounds like a tale right out of the Zen koan book.
I said, "She said, 'Be excellent to each other.'"
Perfect!
Phone Call
"you know, my shrink knew this nurse who worked at Lankenau and was there the night that Jerry Penacoli came in and said it was absolutely true."
I just spoke with a federal marshall.
He was looking for a patient that I don't have.
Someone that I don't have sent a letter to a federal judge.
It had teeth in it.
Were they trying to get him his quarters?
At first I thought you were being metaphorical. But then I realized no, you probably meant literal teeth.
That's gotta be breaking some post office laws, right? Medical specimen transport or something?
Better get the gumshoes on it. Get it? Gum? Teeth? Yeah, I got nuttin'.
That is too funny. If you were closer and it weren't illegal, I bet we could compare notes and find that a few of the folks I encounter you've dealt with extensively!
You don't even have to lick stamps anymore, let alone bite them.
perhaps the judge is a fairy?
That explains why they wanted to bring him quarters.
oh, I was thinking quarters as in digs. duh.
At first I thought you were being metaphorical. But then I realized no, you probably meant literal teeth.
And bloody gauze, actually.
maybe they want to bite the judge in the ass one tooth at a time.... :rolleyes:
Did he promise to tell the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?
Did he promise to tell the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?
FTW!
There is this doctor who has been with us for about a year. He's young. He's a resident. He's hungry. And so he moonlights.
Like many psychiatric residents, he's foreign.
Pakistani Muslim.
He apologized during Ramadan for being irritable because he had not yet broken his fast, so I know he's observant. We also have a Pakistani Muslim apostate.
But anyway.
Pakistani Muslim doc was engaging in some conversation with the ambulance and crisis staff. He was asking the ambulance guys whether they were married, one of the fellows said no, and asked if the doc knew any rich doctors.
Later, the doctor and I were talking, and he said, "So, this Ambulanceboi, he is not married?"
"No," I said carefully, "but I think he is in a long term relationship."
He asked a few other questions that I deftly avoided answering.
Why was I so circumspect?
Because Ambulanceboi is as gay as a three-dollar bill, and I didn't think I should be the one to out him to the Muslim.
"There are no gay Muslims,"
I think that's the company line...
nut: This phone isn't working!! I need to call 911 to have the police come and rescue me! I am being held prisoner!!
wolf (to ASL interpreter team): Is it inappropriate to remind her that she is deaf, the phone works just fine, and the police will not come and rescue her?
hahaha. Who needs sitcoms?
hahaha. Who needs sitcoms?
right, wolf has the proverbial cool job. like the go kart track only more intensified. we get what i like to call 85's there all the time. aka...slow people. but the shit wolf puts up with? lmao....honey you got my vote in any category!
nut: For my wellness recovery action plan, I need to have my medications, my therapy, and a cigarette.
wolf: The doctor has put your medication orders in the computer, you'll see your therapist tomorrow, and you are here because you set yourself on fire. You can't smoke.
Tell Doc to add a diuretic to the medication orders so if the patient sets [him]self on fire again he can put [him]self out.
wolf, was going to start this in it's own thread but thought perhaps it should go here because the "patient" was right up your alley back in december. the end result is not good.
a friend and ex-coworker at the tracks' life long friend killed himself a few days ago. in fact said coworker was up at work with dr. froth and i when he got the phone call that they'd found him. only then we didn't know how he killed himself. i knew the guy as well. ok, met him a few times but that still counts. seemed like a decent person. so ex-coworker was talking about how "john doe", i will call him, tried to commit suicide just before xmas by hanging himself. he was committed to do this mind you. his brother just happened to show up and save him. dude was hanging and purple. he'd taken pills and was almost to the afterlife. well, they committed him to the psychiatric ward and a few weeks later let him out. i guess he told them what they wanted to hear and did the things they wanted him to do (wolf can you help me understand this?) and his depression continued. so the other day john's family is calling ex-coworker telling him they cannot find him. he'd left his house, lights on, tv on, keys home, phone left behind too. tonight while closing up the track dr. froth told me what happened. dude jumped in front of a train of all things in the woodlands which is a suburb in north houston. i feel horrible for the family of john and ex-coworker. hell they'd been friends for 30 years. some of you may remember my rant about 6 years ago when a great friend and pilot committed suicide. i know what ex-coworker is going through. he's pretty stout and can handle this. (it's really deeper than what i'm letting onto here from a separate incident that happened back in december don't know much about it except someone else had said "see ya" as well) i've been very depressed before, like last november for example but i could never do that. step in front of a train? wow. i dunno. that's pretty heavy. like i said he was an acquaintance so it doesn't hit me as hard as a good friend would. just makes me say "damn".
as an afterthought on my previous post i'm wondering wolf....how can you tell or can you tell the difference from someone who is calling out for help and someone who is serious? when my great friend mike committed
suicide i had no idea he was serious. hm. got caught up in rereading that thread. anyway....thoughts wolf?
Sorry not to have responded to this sooner ... often people with real suicidal intent don't "look" suicidal. They are calm, they are even sometimes happy. They have what they see as the solution to all of their problems. I have worked with a lot of genuinely suicidal people and a bunch more who know that they have to say the right things to get hospitalized, including the crack-a-cidal, the heroin-a-cidal, the jail-a-cidal, and the homless-sidal. We usually don't hear from the ones who complete suicide.
Okay, maybe not "ever," but at least tonight.
I was in the back room (ambulance hangout) using the nuke-o-matic and heard a call being dispatched on the scanner.
DISPATCHER: See the woman, 123 Juniper, report of demons in the basement.
COP: repeat. (this is cop for WTF did you just say? You can't have actually said "demons in the basement.")
DISPATCHER: See the woman, 123 Juniper, report of demons in the basement.
COP: Demons?
DISPATCHER: Yes, demons. She is afraid of the demons in the basement and will meet you on her front porch.
COP: I'll take my garlic and silver bullets.
Now, of course, garlic and silver bullets won't do much for demons, but at least he's trying. Could be he picked the right tool for the job, woman might not have demons in the basement.
[COLOR="White"](and yes, I already thought of that. My money is on bats in the belfry)[/COLOR]
Cop needs to stop right now and call in Harry Dresden. :D
Just on the off chance that I might someday have demons in my basement,what would you recommend?
Exorcism, but don't let just anybody do it. You don't just evict the demon ... you have to entice a good/balanced spirit into taking up residence.
I've done a couple of these.
That cop just needs some salt and that will take care of most of it. That is why I have salt in my car at all times.(I'm not even kidding about the last part)
Can you provide a recipe?
Exorcism, but don't let just anybody do it. You don't just evict the demon ... you have to entice a good/balanced spirit into taking up residence.
I've done a couple of these.
This from the person who has to decide if other people are nutso. Hmmmm.
I think Wolf should have been sent out to Demon-Woman's house.
If Demon-Woman is crazy, Wolf can admit her.
If there are demons in the basement, Wolf can exorcise them.
If there is something other than Demons in the basement, Wolf could shoot them.
Unless it is bugs.
Apart from the bugs, this is the complete set of end-of-the-world skillz.
Sorry not to have responded to this sooner ... often people with real suicidal intent don't "look" suicidal. They are calm, they are even sometimes happy. They have what they see as the solution to all of their problems. I have worked with a lot of genuinely suicidal people and a bunch more who know that they have to say the right things to get hospitalized, including the crack-a-cidal, the heroin-a-cidal, the jail-a-cidal, and the homless-sidal. We usually don't hear from the ones who complete suicide.
no problem. i did see your post the other night but was too tired to answer and thank you. i guess i was looking for a specific reason to mike committing suicide. the mind is a world of intrigue and webs of things. am i making sense? anyway, thanks for your input. much appreciated!
oh and love the dispatch!
I have bats in my belfrey.
wolf needs to write a book, for sure.
Are you sure they're bats?
[ATTACH]31510[/ATTACH]
That does go along with the whole monkey motif.
I'll have wolf check once I've committed to being committed.
This from the person who has to decide if other people are nutso. Hmmmm.
I think Wolf should have been sent out to Demon-Woman's house.
If Demon-Woman is crazy, Wolf can admit her.
If there are demons in the basement, Wolf can exorcise them.
If there is something other than Demons in the basement, Wolf could shoot them.
Unless it is bugs.
Apart from the bugs, this is the complete set of end-of-the-world skillz.
I am multi-talented.
Can you provide a recipe?
Just draw a line with the salt
I think it has to be a circle of salt.
Circle for rituals, line (on the doorsills and windowsills) to keep the demons from walking into your house.
Hell, just fire up some good ole Vodoo......
Hell, just fire up some good ole Vodoo......
That you do so well !
You remind me of a man.
What man?
What man?
The man with the power.
Tasering is entertaining at the best of times, but way better when you know the people it's happening to ...
[YOUTUBE]D08SC1rHi58[/YOUTUBE]
[YOUTUBE]3Yn-edieGZU[/YOUTUBE]
fuck that! i'd rather have my medical revoked by the FAA!
sounds like you're in luck, plt. :(
An ER physician friend recently told me about a woman who attempted commit suicide by toilet.
And I thought I'd heard EVERYTHING. Nothing surprises me. But this did.
See, she took this bedsheet, tied it around her neck, and .... no, please don't try to anticipate. You'll never get it.
She put the loose end of the sheet in the bowl and started flushing.
And kept flushing.
And the sheet around her neck got tighter, and tighter.
Until she lost consciousness.
Would have succeeded, had she not been found.
.
And here I thought only hookers were endangered by their johns! :smack:
Never underestimate the power (and ingenuity!) of crazy.
Never underestimate the power (and ingenuity!) of crazy.
Good working title for wolf's book!
So... A few of the pool members came home today to find a neighbor in their street had cut down all of their backyard trees. I called crazy from the get-go, when I heard the first story, the victim was all no way, no-one is that crazy... and then three more victims turned up, including one who caught him in the act and told him to stop and he verbally abused her in from of her 4yo kid, saying he was improving the neighborhood and she was a*#&$$%whatever. it wasn't her yard he was cuttin down -it was her next-door neighbor's and she just asked him to wait until they were back in town to confirm it was ok..... and then he started yelling at her that he was dying of cancer and so she should efing well appreciate what he was doing and that all the other neighbors did.
Police reports were filed....
The name of the town is now just Ann.
What would you expect from Ann Arborists?
The name of the town is now just Ann.
:lol2:
Sooo... apparently he's been doing this for a while, but on a smaller scale, one yard (and heritage lilac bush) at a time, and people are too stunned to actually do anyhting about it and generally kept quiet because they thought maybe they were pissing off their neighbors with their lack of tree surgery and not realizing it.... so I guess this guy has taken that shocked silence as approval..... The neighborhood is meeting tonight.....
We're the first in lack of freedom.
W00t NY represents!1!!11
Number One in Freedom from Freedom!!11!!
I could only imagine him trying that in my neighborhood (very redneck rural PA). They'd find his bones when they started digging to put in the next housing development (or shopping mall).
