10/19/2004: Hung moose

Undertoad • Oct 19, 2004 12:37 pm
Image

Geodog points out this remarkable one... thanks!

If it's an animal image, and it's not Friday, it's not gonna be good. And that's the case here, as this moose was eventually destroyed. But he's alive in this shot...

Very similar to 1/15/2003: Dead deer mystery, except in this case we kinda know what the full story is.

This moose was happily minding his own business. And his business was kicking the ass of any other moose in the area. He was in "full rut", a condition in mating season in which a male moose is so horny and full of piss and vinegar that he will pretty much fight any other male moose in the area.

Unfortunately he is a moron, and so sometimes he will pick fights with things that aren't other male mooses but kinda sorta LOOK like other male mooses. Anything that looks like another set of antlers and moves. Pissed as hell, horny as hell, dumb as a stump... we've all known guys like that, and the destruction they can cause.

OK. Now, PAUSE a moment and consider stringing up electrical cable over long distances. As tw ponts out, maybe the lines should be buried. But when they're stringing across the Alaskan wilderness, where there's basically nothing, it'll be a lot cheaper to do it this way.

They've come up with an interesting way of stringing the cable, too. They lay the cable out along the ground, and then climb the poles and hang the cable through an eyelet at the top of every pole. At that point, the wire runs along the ground, except to where it rises up to the top of each pole. They leave it like that, and when they've strung FIVE MILES that way, they just PULL the ONE END of the cable, roll up it with a huge winch, and the five mile long cable is pulled, up from the ground to taut on the poles, with 5000 pounds of force. Cool!

Linesmen came through here and rolled out the cable in this way, days earlier. And then, from miles away, they started to pull the line. And this dumb moose saw this large movement, and decided it was fightin' time. But he proceeded to lose the battle spectacularly, as his antlers got caught up in a cable, and Mr. Moose got slowly dragged up in the line as a winch pulled it from miles away!!!

Fifty feet up, hung by his skull, barely alive, horny, pissed... by the time they got him down, he was thrashing about. They couldn't get him free, and figured he would die if they tranquilized him. In utilitarian Alaskan fashion, they decided that the best approach would be to just shoot him and donate the meat to a local needy guy. And that's what they did.
dar512 • Oct 19, 2004 12:45 pm
Let this be a warning. -- Never let yourself get in a rut.
mmmBoy • Oct 19, 2004 1:07 pm
Don Quixote would be so proud.

Never thought I would use "quixotic" and "moose" in the same sentence.
Cyber Wolf • Oct 19, 2004 1:11 pm
When you live out in the middle of nowhere, you'd figure it'd be safe enough to strut your stuff but nooooo.
mmmBoy • Oct 19, 2004 1:17 pm
"Like a moose on the wire
Like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free"

--Leonard Cohen
Brown Thrasher • Oct 19, 2004 1:31 pm
I agree when they took him down, he was probably dying, pissed, and probably terribly confused. I just don't know about his still being horny............ Anyway he won't have to worry about ending up in that situation again. He appears to have sacrificed his life. However, some say something good comes out of all difficult life situations. In this case some hungry soul will have a nice dinner.
Elspode • Oct 19, 2004 1:45 pm
Hey, Rocky...watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat! Nothin' up my sleeve...presto!

No doubt about it...we gotta breed a smarter moose.
melidasaur • Oct 19, 2004 6:32 pm
when I saw hung moose as the headline, i wasn't thinking that this moose was going to be literally hanging - i thought it was going to have huge genitalia.
Undertoad • Oct 19, 2004 6:44 pm
Well the picture isn't that detailed... he just might.
capnhowdy • Oct 19, 2004 7:28 pm
What a really bad day for this guy. Get up ill and horny, can't find a "friend", settle for a powerline, realize you've gotta fight for that, get strung up by the horns, rescued, shot, and eaten. Glad it was only one.
What the hell is the plural for moose anyway? MEESES??????????
Reason for going for the powerline: Closing Time!
Sportsmanship: Getting the moose on the ground before you shoot him.
Happy Monkey • Oct 19, 2004 7:34 pm
MEESES a pig.
xoxoxoBruce • Oct 19, 2004 10:41 pm
Maybe moose get Autoerotic Asphyxiation Syndrome. :elkgrin:
OnyxCougar • Oct 20, 2004 3:16 pm
mmmBoy wrote:
Don Quixote would be so proud.

Never thought I would use "quixotic" and "moose" in the same sentence.


You didn't.
OnyxCougar • Oct 20, 2004 3:22 pm
:smack:

"My guess is he was in full rut and probably seen that line moving out there," and decided to fight, said Marvin Pickens, line construction manager for City Electric in Anchorage.


He probably seen that line moving out there?

So it's not just North Carolina. Good to know. :smack:


Davenport talked to Hanneman about two hours later and made the decision to have City Electric workers shoot the moose, based on reports he got about the animal's condition.

"It was in pretty rough shape in talking to them," said Davenport. Tranquilizing an animal at that point can be deadly, he said.

"If they're really wore down, they'll succumb to (the drugs) and die," Davenport said. "Then you can't salvage the meat because of the drugs in it."


So Fish and Game didn't actually SEE the moose, just made the decision to shoot it based upon the word of people who string electric wire for a living and use poor grammer.

Mhm.
Trilby • Oct 20, 2004 3:37 pm
Kerry came to Ohio and said, "Can I get me a hunting license here?"

Apparently he felt that is the way we Ohioans communicate. He's wrong, though. Most of us speak in E-bonics.

Oh, well. Back to the moose. Poor devil. I can't help but feel his passions had cooled a bit after hanging by the skull all day. I wonder if this would work for teenaged boys?
(that's a JOKE.)
Happy Monkey • Oct 20, 2004 3:52 pm
Apparently the cat was offended by the overly familiar moose.
wolf • Oct 21, 2004 1:19 am
Elspode wrote:
No doubt about it...we gotta breed a smarter moose.


Given the likelihood that this fellow did not get a chance to get his moosey rocks off, we just did.

Can animals win the Darwin Award? This boy at least deserves honorable mention.
Elspode • Oct 21, 2004 2:20 pm
"Moosey Rocks Off"...yet another band name!
wolf • Oct 22, 2004 11:17 am
When one of my coworkers was in college she wanted to name her band "Brief Reactive Psychosis."

I don't know what they ended up with.
xoxoxoBruce • Oct 22, 2004 10:05 pm
I vote for The Fabulous Undertoads. :band:
jojomonkeygirl • Oct 24, 2004 1:22 am
OnyxCougar wrote:

So it's not just North Carolina. Good to know. :smack:

huh??? :eyebrow:
Bitman • Oct 25, 2004 3:42 pm
mmmBoy wrote:
Never thought I would use "quixotic" and "moose" in the same sentence.
OnyxCougar wrote:
You didn't.
Hate to nit-pick your nit-pick, but it's wrong on two counts. First mmmBoy never claimed to use those two words in a sentence. Although the "never thought" construction implies that conclusion, it doesn't make it explicitly.

Second, mmmBoy did indeed use those two words in a sentence, though they weren't subjects in the sentence.
OnyxCougar • Oct 25, 2004 3:50 pm
If I said, "Never thought I'd jump off the roof" it would imply that I did jump off the roof.

And while it does not make it explicitly, as you stated, the implication was there.

So fuck you.



Edit: On reflection, that's a bit harsh. But christ on a cracker, I forget a smilie and I get nitpicked. Cut me some slack, bit.
OnyxCougar • Oct 25, 2004 4:02 pm
jojomonkeygirl wrote:
huh??? :eyebrow:



It's good to know that not just people in NC screw grammer up. ;)

SEE... SMILIE. THIS INDICATES A JOKE. JEST. ATTEMPT, HOWEVER LAME, AT HUMOR. PLEASE DO NOT NITPICK THAT REMARK. THANK YOU.
xoxoxoBruce • Oct 25, 2004 10:08 pm
Onyx, Baby, breath...in...out...in...out...in...out. Now isn't that better? :)
OnyxCougar • Oct 26, 2004 6:59 am
*buries her face in Bruce's shoulder and nods*
Cyber Wolf • Oct 26, 2004 7:44 am
Get a room, you two! :D
Trilby • Oct 26, 2004 11:10 am
Bruce is mine! Back off!!

:love:
404Error • Oct 26, 2004 12:33 pm
Oh cool, a cat fight! But you're in the wrong thread, this is the moose thread... :biggrin:
Trilby • Oct 26, 2004 4:14 pm
We'll need a lot of jello...
mmmBoy • Oct 26, 2004 5:58 pm
Bitman wrote:
Hate to nit-pick your nit-pick, but it's wrong on two counts. First mmmBoy never claimed to use those two words in a sentence. Although the "never thought" construction implies that conclusion, it doesn't make it explicitly.

Second, mmmBoy did indeed use those two words in a sentence, though they weren't subjects in the sentence.


Cheers, Bitman. And I thought that I was the only one with two English professors for parents.

BTW, if I said out loud "Oh, a quixotic moose" and then wrote "I never thought I'd say quixotic moose" it doesn't mean that I want to go bungee jumping. :confused:
mmmBoy • Oct 26, 2004 6:18 pm
Actually it's also wrong on a third count. If I said "Never thought I'd jump off a roof" it doesn't necessarily mean or imply that I had jumped off a roof. I could say "Never though I'd jump off a roof, but after getting ripped on for not including a smilie in what I intended to be a *wink wink* post I'm seriously thinking about it."

Oh yeah, and before I forget, ;)
xoxoxoBruce • Oct 26, 2004 7:24 pm
:corn:
mmmBoy • Oct 26, 2004 7:55 pm
:notworthy Sorry Bruce, that emoticon was too good...

"With this 5 mile long cable and telephone poles we make big trouble for moose and squirrel"
OnyxCougar • Oct 26, 2004 8:38 pm
Brianna wrote:
Bruce is mine! Back off!!

:love:



I will cut you.
Griff • Oct 26, 2004 9:03 pm
brave quixotic moose
fly high you great horndoggie
it's what's for dinner
mmmBoy • Oct 27, 2004 12:25 pm
*said while snapping in a very groovy manner*
Groovy Griff, groovy.
Trilby • Oct 27, 2004 1:15 pm
OnyxCougar wrote:
I will cut you.


Bring it on! *whips out trusty shiv and slowly circles OnyxCougar in menacing fashion* :evil2:
404Error • Oct 27, 2004 1:53 pm
I like this movie! :corn:


*With the tune 'The Rumble' from West Side Story in the background*

Under The Highway - 9:00 p.m.(The gangs come in from separate sides, Brianna and Onyx are just beginning the "fair fight" when UT tries to stop them. Onyx hits Brianna and both open knives. As Onyx is about to kill Brianna, UT moves to stop her. Brianna runs her knife into Onyx. Onyx falls toward UT; UT takes the knife from her hand and kills Brianna.The gangs disperse in panic and confusion, except for UT who stands horrified, over the bodies of Onyx and Brianna. Suddenly he realizes the danger and runs.)
dar512 • Oct 27, 2004 5:18 pm
Nice screenplay 404 -- except they were fighting over Bruce.
Trilby • Oct 27, 2004 5:26 pm
um--who won?

Easy, Action!
OnyxCougar • Oct 27, 2004 5:27 pm
*growls and sizes up her opponent, flicking open a butterfly knife, weaving sinuously in an attempt to intimidate Brianna*
Trilby • Oct 27, 2004 5:30 pm
brianna, totally not intimidated, opens fire and shoots OnyxC in the brisket.

queue swelling "death" music.

And now---after Marichiko!
OnyxCougar • Oct 27, 2004 5:33 pm
Never bring a knife to a gunfight.
Trilby • Oct 27, 2004 5:39 pm
OnyxC---really, I regret that I killed you. I feel badly about that. But...I just met a man named xoxoxobruce---say it loud and it's like music playing...say it soft, and it's almost like praying....xoxoxobruce....
xoxoxoBruce • Oct 27, 2004 6:57 pm
Can't we all get along? :eek:
wolf • Oct 27, 2004 8:53 pm
Count on bruce to find a catfight and turn it into an orgy! You go, my man!! :thumbsup:
404Error • Oct 27, 2004 9:05 pm
dar512 wrote:
Nice screenplay 404 -- except they were fighting over Bruce.



Well Bruce was just sitting back eating popcorn watching the girls go at it. I figured UT would jump in to *moderate* the fight. ;)
mmmBoy • Oct 29, 2004 12:12 pm
Isn't all this posturing over a mate the thing that got the moose in trouble in the first place???
xoxoxoBruce • Oct 29, 2004 8:01 pm
It sure is mmmBoy. I'm not taking a chance on getting hung. After all, I never have been. :blush:
dar512 • Nov 2, 2004 4:18 pm
xoxoxoBruce wrote:
It sure is mmmBoy. I'm not taking a chance on getting hung. After all, I never have been. :blush:


Shot by a jealous husband seems more likely with all these women pawing the ground over you. :)
xoxoxoBruce • Nov 2, 2004 7:18 pm
Cyber pawing, Dar, only cyber pawing. :blunt: