I Need Your Validation and/or Condemnation

When I was 10 years old (back in 1966), I came to the realization that, if I was going to ever get more than a sympathy fuck, I needed something about me that would have some sort of attractive quality. Since it was the heyday of Brit Rock and high Pop Culture, I decided that I needed to learn to play guitar. So I whined to my mom, and in short order I received a piece of shit electric guitar of Italian origin. I wasn't very good with it, and we were too poor for my lessons to continue, so I learned to play on my own, courtesy of Mel Bay and some 'Top 10 Contemporary Hits" books.

Fast forward about 20 years...still basically unlaid (at least, as far as guitar talent was concerned), I found myself involved with a musical partner of some considerable talent, one Lane Lambert, an early and earnest romantic partner. We met as sophomores in high school, and sparks flew. She was 16, I was 15, and we both loved The Arts, especially those promulgated by The Who, Leon Russell and anyone who knew what frets were. She played the mandolin, I played guitar. We could usually be found at high school parties, alternately necking and crooning out Jimmie Spheeris tunes.

Decades went by. Our romantic involvement fell by the wayside, and we both ended up married to others. Her spouse over these past 20 years has always been supportive and omniscient; my spouses have been, variously, unconcerned and (at present) alternately disconnected and outright oppositional.

As life went by, Lane and I always kept in touch, but our mutual love of music (and performance together) fell by the wayside. Sometime in the early 1990's, we got together again and started doing a repertoire of Celtic standards, finding an audience in United Way benefit wine tastings, the Kansas City Mayoral Ball, numerous weddings, Pagan festivals, and the odd "would you like to come play for free?" events. A self-produced/promoted concert at a local Pagan shop received a nice advance notice courtesy of the KC Star's premiere Arts and Entertainment writer, and we ended up with a receptive and enthusiastic audience of 100+ for what could only be described as an extravaganza of original musical performance (thirty minutes into the gig, we found ourselves introducing our material as "another song about lost love and depression", and everyone fucking loved it).

Band alignments changed, morphed, and dissolved, but throughout it all, we built an enduring set of trad music, combined with original ballads and tales of love lost. We ended up one day on a local origin cable channel, doing a couple of her ballads. I was terrified, but we came out alright. Because we survived that, we set out to create a CD of entirely original music. After all, who was to say that we had no clue?

The CD was a tale based on the story of Tristan and Iseult, a subset of the Arthurian legend; a tale which some scholars believe might have been the basis of the Romeo and Juliet drama expounded by Willie Shakes. Entitled "Tristan and Iseult: A Celtic Love Story', Lane's original music and my arrangements/engineering has sold a reasonable quantity of discs through local independent channels, and also through Amazon.com. ( http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000031XCT/qid=1095572627/sr=8-4/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i4_xgl15/102-5469139-4749768?v=glance&s=music&n=507846 ).

It was supposed to have been done as a complete American Musical Theater production...we even wrote the book to go with it, but it sucked (although the casted reading of it was quite a great time...lots of unintentional humor). Once we knew it wasn't ever going to see a stage production, we just decided to record all the music, and move on. If you want .mp3 samples of this work, email me at [email]endymion@lunalushede.org[/email], and I'll get them to you. Wolf has a copy of the complete CD, and might be able to let you know if it is worth your time at all.

So...fast forward a few more months. An ad in the local paper showed up, looking for someone who could do the music for the plays of William Butler Yeats. A Community Theater group was poised to do a compendium of plays written by the estimable W.B. Yeats, and was seeking to find someone who could put the long lost lyrics of Mssr. Yeats to music, and present it as a part of the play cycle.

As luck would have it, Lane is your basic English Lit major, and she whipped our her Yeats play hardbound (yes, I know...none of us own such a thing, but she did) and put a couple of lyrical pieces to original music.

We went to an audition, and within five minutes, we were the band for the whole production. We put together a group of literate and talented perfomers, and did right by WB Yeats for about three weeks of free performances.

This was almost nine years ago. So, in keeping with our bent for recording history after the history is gone, we have been recording those pieces. I have some rough mixes ready in mp3 format, and I would *really* like my Cellar family to give them a listen, and provide me with some feedback.

Please...give a listen, and let me know what you think. Extra credit given for literate opinions.

www.lunalushede.org/songs

Music is really what I'm all about. Your comments would help to figure out whether or not I should sell the guitars or not.


Pax,
Patrick

It should be noted that you may have to do a right click and "save as" to get the files in a playable state, depending on your system setup.

Well, I won’t get any extra points.
Don’t quit your day job. The music is beautiful but I doubt if it’s economically viable in the market place.
Damn, Master & apprentice is great, I love the drums too :thumbsup:
Tell Lane I love her, I’ve always loved her, I’ve been saving myself for her. :joylove:
A woman’s beauty is superb.
All in all an excellent effort and I turned off Austin City Limits to listen to this. :)
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a cd to burn. ;)

This is way out of my style range, but it's beautifully written and performed. I like how, as a guitarist, you're happy to play the supporting role of the song and not need to be way out front. This speaks well to your character. On "Master & Apprentice" (I listened to Bruce's recommendations) there is subtle interesting counterpoint sorta stuff. It must have been really fulfilling personally to develop this music and perform it and record it.

Warch and I talked once about what happens when musicians stop playing. They lose a piece of themselves, and become seriously grumpy. I know that I personally go through phases where playing seems less fulfilling, but it always returns. On Harmony Central I've read a ton of messages from musicians who really regret selling their gear. You might try playing with a different people, or trying something way more challenging, or way LESS challenging, or more popular, or less popular.

So sell the instruments that are stock and lacking in life, and save the ones that are special.

EGAD and ZOUNDS !!!!!!!
Tis' Truely fine playing minstrel !!!!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Fortunately, economic viability has never been the point (not that it wouldn't be swell if lots of people bought the stuff). We fully realize that what we do is not mass consumption, mainstream music. Really, we just try to each do what drives us as creative people. For Lane, it is all about rendering what she hears in her head and puts to voice. For me, it is about making what she writes sound as good as possible, given our respective skill levels and the equipment available to us. I think we do quite a bit with very litle... :D

Playing with Lane isn't all I do. I have a little hobby band that practices at my house, and I can sit in with any number of people and jam. That does help keep me sane. I guess I'm just reaching a point in my life where I need to know that I'm not completely wasting my time. After all, being a performer of any kind is a bit of a masturbatory process without some external validation from an audience... :)

I need to know that I'm not completely wasting my time.

If you enjoy it, it can't be a waste of time. ;)

......being a performer of any kind is a bit of a masturbatory process......

You say that like it's a bad thing? :confused:

Ok, I admit that when I read the title in the new posts search I was not paying attention to which forum it was in. When I read the introduction up until the music, I got a very bad feeling about where it was headed.

I Need Your Validation and/or Condemnation

Fast forward about 20 years...still basically unlaid (at least, as far as guitar talent was concerned), I found myself involved with a musical partner of some considerable talent, one Lane Lambert, an early and earnest romantic partner.

Decades went by. Our romantic involvement fell by the wayside, and we both ended up married to others. Her spouse over these past 20 years has always been supportive and omniscient; my spouses have been, variously, unconcerned and (at present) alternately disconnected and outright oppositional.

Anyway, I listened to your Morholt track from "Tristan and Iseult", and tracks 2 and 9 of your new work. Being a fan of fast paced rhytms and melodies, I liked Morholt very much. While Elizabethan-type music is not my favorite, I found some nice melodies in your new work. Track 2 reminded me a little of Cape Breton music, which is Celtic with a touch of what sounds like me to be Middle Eastern melodies.

Anyway, being a bad amatuer harmonica player and even worse drummer, I would like to add my voice to the values of hobbies. Providing you keep it in perspective and not risk your families financial well being, you have a right and even a responsibility to keep yourself happy. I am a lousy drummer and I own two functioning and two broken drums because I enjoy banging on a drum. You have actual talent and enjoy playing a guitar. As long as you don't take out a second mortgage to finance your hobby you have every right to keep going.

You and Lane play very well together. I think that a chaste and professional collaboration is great if you both enjoy doing it. Good luck.

Please don't throw your guitar away, Patrick! That's some wonderful music there, and while I'm not a musician, I do spend an awful lot of time with a man who plays classical guitar, so I can HEAR the beauty of your playing. The names John Renborn and Loreena McKennett came to my mind as I listened to the music. I love Celtic ballads done in the style you two are doing them, and the music sounds very warm and intimate. You have a gift, hang on to that guitar!

I was joking, really. I would never throw away or sell my guitar. I have a Martin HD28, and it is the guitar I've wanted all my life. It stays, even if my fingers get cut off.

I do have a lot of other gear as well, and sometimes, when it actually becomes a struggle to try and keep a band going, or when I'm stressed, overworked and exhausted (as I have been all summer), I do think about converting my synths and other non-acoustic guitar gear to cash. Then I remember how much I love making music.

I'm late to this thread but...validation.
Its great that you can express yourself this way, whether for 2 or 200 or 2000. Like curiosity, creative events do ebb and flow, but just look at the distance/time/life youve covered here and admit it, own it......somewhere in there you, for you, turned into a musician. No going back. So, what's next?

Christmas music is next. Egad.

Every year, a bunch of my (mostly Pagan) musician friends get together, and we play Christmas music. We have a couple of gigs every year, one for a ritzy-schnitzy retirement home on the week before Xmas, and one for the local British Faire in November. We usually manage to pick up two or three other things, depending on how hard we push it.

I hate practicing for it every year, but the gigs themselves are usually really great. You should see the look on the old folks' faces when we follow a rip-roaring "Jingle-Bells" with "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer".

As far as recording, I think Lane and I are just going to sit down, grab a general idea, turn on the recording equipment, and try to create some completely original themes, then arrange and build them up. I'd like to say that we'll take a break from the Celtic style, but when you have a harpist playing with you, it is sort of hard to leave it completely behind.

When I do stuff that I write (which is real infrequent), it tends to turn out more like this.

Thanks for the kind words, though. Yeah, I'm a musician, I guess. I'm a hack, I'll never do anything remotely commercial, but I'm a musician.

Isn't it great to go to the Jewish Old Folks Home to sing "Angels We Have Heard on High?"

Actually, there are quite a few Christmas Carols that I really like. I have a soft spot for God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen.

And Snoopy Versus the Red Baron.

If Ian Anderson hears Holyman, he'll be quaking in his boots and switching to Country & Western. :)

We do "God Rest Ye" with sort of a reggae styling to it, complete with steel drum sounds on the keyboards...

That should bring back memories for the people that spent Christmas in the islands every year. :rasta:

Els,
I've always dug your posts, and I'm all about Pagans, I'm downloading your music as we speak (note that I did not use the word "tunes" and I appreciate that some day you won't call my photographs "pics") (umm, I guess I'm downloading as I type. We're not really speaking are we?)

BUT, either your math sucks or you are in some kind of warp in the time/space continuum.
To wit and viz:
...When I was 10 years old (back in 1966)...Fast forward about 20 years...She was 16, I was 15...Decades went by...Her spouse over these past 20 years...So, fast forward a few more months...We went to an audition, and within five minutes...for about three weeks of free performances...This was almost nine years ago...

So according to my calculations, and trust me I am no mathmagician, you are either 135 years old or you haven't been born yet. In either case I am so close to getting DSL so I can download all of your music.

Waiting waiting...

Also, you didn't directly ask this, but I feel that you and Lane have a serious soul connection that is constantly being affirmed by the ten thousand things.

Do you know this poem by Mary Oliver? It makes me think of you.
Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Mary Oliver

Just poor wording on my part, not faulty math. I was not familiar with that poem before. It is very interesting, indeed.

As far as a soul connection, I suppose that is possible. I know we used to think so, but as I find time passing by (at an accelerated rate...someone call Einstein, please), I find that our mundane lives continue to diverge further and further apart, and the things we have in common become less and less.

The music does continue to bind us in some sense, certainly. Unfortunately, the reality of family, work and finance make it harder and harder to spend as much time making music as I'd like. As much as *either* of us would like.

I guess that is why the body isn't the soul. Ya know render unto cesear etc.
I am convinced there is a whole other realm that we inhabit maybe while asleep, or awake. We exist on many planes.

Maybe when you make music your physical self is closer to where your soul abides?

I know my body and soul are having a long distance relationship, but that's another story...

I have no doubt about that. The whole reason I make music at all, despite a distinct lack of sufficient skills, is that it resonates within me somewhere that I cannot possibly comprehend, but must merely accept.

Although I'm on a bit of a posting hiatus, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to tell you how much I enjoyed your music.

Not an especially literate offering so I won't be expecting any extra credit but I wanted to give credit where credit is due. And not that my opinion matters but I think an artist should create art to suit him/her self and disregard what anyone else thinks of it lest the art become self-conscious and lose its spirit. Validation is not only irrelevant to the artist but worse it can, sometimes, be counterproductive.

Thanks for sharing your work. If I had something as beautiful as that to share, I would indeed share it.

That's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me, Beestie. Thank you!

Undertoad wrote:

[snip] ... when musicians stop playing. They lose a piece of themselves, and become seriously grumpy. ... [unsnip]

Ain't that the truth brother. Been there, done that, remember wearing the hair shirt (OUCH!) .

I can't say that I make music for the audience/to share but I do know that I need to make music in order to be comfortable within myself.
Sadly my clunky 40k bps connection means that I may never get to hear your tunes (so much for life in the back of beyond!).

Well, I'll probably make a big stink when the new CD gets done, so bug me and I'll send you one. It'll be awhile yet...

I'll take a few of those. :corn: