haiku II

Silly butterfly
Hustles wings to a gallop
Rest yourself awhile

oh cool i remember this!

its two syllables, 5 syllables, 3 syllables right?

It's five/seven/five----it's easy and fun--try it!
If you're not sure, count the syllables out
Sil-ly But-ter-fly (that's five)--get it?

This is my weblog,
There are millions of others,
But this one is mine

Everquest widows
Have nothing on me. It's called
City of Heroes.

Trust ye not Evel,
Says he will jump the canyon,
Ends up in the drink

This recap is for <b>Brianna</b>, because she liked it so much:

A celery stalk,
Has negative calories,
You can look it up

Yay! Thanks NBN--you're a true haiku master! :)

You forgot the last line! ;)

"Yay! Thanks NBN--
You're a true haiku master!
Older men are hot."

Loving my neighbor,
Has become more of a chore,
Again the dog barks

My pipe is busted,
It's always the same story,
Dumbass dropped the bong

I miss fellatio,
Though I did not know her well,
I hope she comes back

I met some roosters,
All the cocks carried a comb,
Do they use Brylcreem?

'Hood associates,
Don't dig my hi-growin' weed,
I shot the sheriff

Red geraniums
Summer's long, hot days stretch on
till fall's chill arrives

Wacky Iraqi,
Is that something you can smoke?
Yeah, if I have to

Clodfobble wrote:

You forgot the last line! ;)

"Yay! Thanks NBN--
You're a true haiku master!
Older men are hot."

You too, Clodfobble, rock the haiku!
And, older men are hot!
Now, CF, do you speak in Haiku or do you prefer to converse in dirty limerick? You know, the "There once was a lady from France..."-type thing. We could start a dirty limerick thread... :D

No one likes haiku?
What is wrong with everyone?
Keep the Arts alive!

It's back to school time,
The streets are quiet again,
Curmudgeons approve

Edgar Allan Poe,
Never dabbled in haiku,
Wasn't drunk enough

The Olympics rock.
I'VE got some parallel bars
For those male gymnasts.

Greek gods abundant,
It's not if you win or lose,
It's your muscle tone

I hate banana's
and BANANAPHONE song, too.
I need some xanax!

Happens every time-
that drinking makes me thirsty
It's called a hang-over

I look down the road.
A tumbleweed is coming.
Can I hitch a ride?

When life turns to shit
You must learn to sink or swim
Or just flush the loo

ever notice how
some things keep coming up all
messed up and worry?

best 404 message ever, I wish I could remember where I saw it (it may have been Salon.com's haiku contest)

You step in a stream
But the water has moved on
That page is not here


That being said, I will contribute

Sleeps all day an night
Only wakes to eat and poop
Oh, to be a dog!

One from the archives:

"Well done, my little
collegiate hamsters.
Get your fresh breath pill."

During freshman orientation, I had to sit through some craptastic lecture on "making the most of college" or "how to make good choices" or something in that vein. Either way, Mentos was one of the sponsors, and the speaker handed out packs of the stuff to people in the crowd who would answer questions/participate in the presentation. I decided to sit back and switch between napping and writing sarcastic haiku.

Now that I look back, it's not so much that I "had" to go, but that it was humid as hell, and it was either sit in my room and dehydrate from sweating or endure the dog-and-pony show for the sake of some air conditioning. I think I made the right call.

Adjust tinfoil hats
Conspiracy theorists!
Radar will soon post!

WHEN IN DANGER! WHEN IN DOUBT!
RUN IN CIRCLES! SCREAM AND SHOUT!!

Saltwater Taffy,
Chosen by nine out of ten,
Rich orthodontists

When the Hindenburg,
Takes an infernal swan dive,
George C. Scott did it

Nothing But Net has
much to prove to us, his fans:
make bananna bread!

Doggie doo litters,
All corners of my estate,
Please stay on the path

A Hindu Haiku,
Ding, Rama Rama Ding Ding,
Doesn't seem to work

Flush, a unique word,
It's a noun, verb, adjective,
Poker, Face, and Loo

I love Nothing But
Net and it gets me nowhere;
So help me goddess

The highway beckons,
I Snap into a Slim Jim,
Nine miles to Memphis

oh there's NBN
doing the lynndie again
certifiable.

Brianna's the name
loving NBN's the game
match made in heaven

I don't see the point
of Haiku's, they're restrictive
and don't make much sense.

Writing verse in strict
form can be rather lovely--
Learn to love the pain.

:muse:

I think they are but
an excuse not to create
a form of one's own.

Catwoman, why ask
what haiku can do for you-
ask to serve haiku!

*honorable bowing*

Good point Brianna
yes I am too self-seeking
and must learn to bow.

I try to lose weight
Now I am really hungry.
God is a prankster!

Try the low-carb thing
You won't be hungry at all!
No more sugar-shock.

Just so you know, Chew
I am chewing some chocolate.
Why not get a bar?

Bri:
I have no faith in
Atkins. He died of what? Right,
massive heart failure.


Cat:
I lost my slug for
the vending machine. Seven
-five cents? What bullshit!

Out of pocket change-
Totally broke once again-
Guess I'll suck my thumb.

Nine one one oh one,
Has it really been three years?
Seems like yesterday

Hurricane Ivan,
Nature's WMD,
Got your water wings?

supercalifrag-
ilisticexpiali-
docious. Wow, almost

The first day of Fall,
Or the last day of Summer,
What's the difference?

One more beheaded
taken by terrorism
why does it go on?

Look at my two nerts--
Just floatin' in my scrotum:
Happy Testicles.

Hey baby. Dinner?
Ramen and warm PBR--
(I'll get laid for sure).

Ike is so horny
Hey, Joe. me love you long time
preoccupation

Drank myself naked
at a company party.
No longer work there.

Poetry degree
and I'm writing bad haikus
in a web forum.

Hey Nothing But Net!
Serious competition
From Ike is my Cat!

Brianna likes me.
Should I tell her I'm married
or lead her on more.

Oops. Now she must know.
I forgot that she reads this--
There go my chances.

Ike, ever hear of
a thing called agape love?
Though I prefer sex.

Yup, I've heard of it.
Yeah. Like, my mouth was agape
seeing you nekkid.

There I go again...
Start typing before thinking;
only smut comes out.

Same disease as you-
Smut smut smut smut smut smut smut,
Smut smut smut smut, filth.

Won golf tournament:
4 strokes ahead of the next.
Who wants to touch me.

Golf, flirtation and
shorthand eroticism.
It's just not sexy.

I like Halloween
It is the Very Best One.
No holiday guilt.

Drug-laced candy corn--
trick or treat, sonofabitch;
Won't come back next year.

Drugs in Candy is
An Urban Legend, kneejerk.
Eat some candy, man.

My great sports weekend,
Didn't turn out like I'd planned...
It's all gone to shit

Enchilada plate,
You know the consequences,
Get out of my house!

Eagles didn't win...
Because it's their bye week!
Destiny awaits.

And by destiny,
UT means Nov. 28.
It's Giants time, son.

The phone is ringing
More coffee for the boss, now.
Christ I hate temping.

White guy at tight end?
Please you make me laugh so hard!
Fourteen points at least

Did not re-sign Duce
Bacon out of fire Cower
Big Ben breath easy

All this talk of sports
cellarites are off topic
back to whale penis

jacquelita has
the right idea, a-hole man.
long-live whale penii!

I want a camera (duosyllabic with Southern english accent - 'cam-ra')
to take photos of me in
front of the mirror.

Jettas are nimble
Gas Hog SUVs suck
Neons are the best

My son's car is loud
beat up and rusty body
HE says it SOUNDS sick[U]

creativity
expressive entertainment
imagination

Environment? Pfft...
I'll drive in my Pathfinder
and club baby seals.

Catwoman wrote:

I want a camera
to take photos of me in
front of the mirror.

After you take them,
you can post them on the web.
Appropriate place.

haiku discipline
crystalize thought in pure form
simple perfection

Serious haiku
makes me projectile vomit--
enough already.

Ike, you make no sense.
If you don't respect haiku
You should just abandon the 5-7-5 format and say what you really think

Ike you crack me up
I'm sorry you vomited
I'll go get the mop

The Yankees have lost
Sentenced to play game seven
Is the curse broken?

Yankees came to Shea
Three games later, walked out swept
Season ended then.

No one wants to think
That they are the absolute
Downfall: modern man

The Sox use Botox
And the Cards catch the bird flu
Astros all the way!

Tim is quite confused
The Astros are done tonight
[color=red]Let's go Cardinals...yeah![/color]

Oh, I did forget
Sycamore's from St. Loser
(Puts twenty on it)

There was no handshake
The offer of the twenty
Is now suspended

Are redheads better
is the question of the day.
I'll try one and see...

Mrs. Dallas passed this on from list for orchestra conductors. Some of them are pretty good.

> Squeaking and squawking
>
> All eyes roll to the heavens
>
> The clarinet speaks
>
> =====================
>
> One beat to change from
>
> Harmon to cup to bucket
>
> Hey, who wrote this s**t?
>
> =====================
>
> The jam session starts
>
> Somebody calls "Giant Steps"
>
> Cold fear grips my brain
>
> =====================
>
> Here's the girl singer
>
> Stepping to the microphone
>
> Pitch, Time, all gone now
>
> =====================
>
> Gig is going well
>
> Some one requests "In the Mood"
>
> I look at my watch
>
> =====================
>
> Gorgeous chick tells me
>
> "You sound just like Kenny G"
>
> My ego shatters
>
> =====================
>
> Three-eight, eleven-eight
>
> Damn you Andrew Lloyd Webber
>
> Five-eight, seven-eight
>
> =====================
>
> The woodwind doubler
>
> Practicing the piccolo
>
> Frustration defined
>
> =====================
>
> Pit orchestra gig
>
> Days and nights become as one
>
> I have no damn life
>
> =====================
>
> Bad intonation
>
> Strings are sharp and reeds are flat
>
> Brass too loud again
>
> =====================
>
> An oxymoron:
>
> "He plays the accordion
>
> With delicacy"
>
> =====================
>
> Bassoons forever
>
> Try in vain not to sound like
>
> A farting bedpost
>
> =====================
>
> The strings slowly tune
>
> When they're done the unison
>
>
>
>
> Are anything but
>
> =====================
>
> "I can't find my note"
>
> Bemoans the confused singer
>
> "Quit now", we all pray
>
> =====================
>
> ==================
>
> Money's everything
>
> Playing any gig that comes
>
> Whores, we are all whores
>
> =====================
>
> That plate of hors d'oeuvres
>
> Cost more than we're getting paid
>
> Think we underbid?
>
> =====================
>
> God bless trust fund gigs
>
> Only have to eat ramen
>
> For a few more weeks
>
> =====================

Ditched my class again
Wanted to write some haiku
SD's list scares me.

Lumber Jim wigged out
tw now has a rented mule
watch out for mind-melds!

I am so happy
I never flipped out in public
Hey where is my shirt?

damn I hurt my toe
is there a light switch in here
this is Jim's office!

i've been here before
but i can't remember when
why is this thread dead?

bring back the office
at least creative writing
ok, just haiku

aren't haikus about
an object from the outdoors?
perhaps an orchid?

i think that it's more
than just composing three lines
of various length.

Something is stirring
In the graveyard of archives;
A resurrection.

Oh lord. More haikus...
I thought this went far away
like the rash I had.

Sundae Girl wrote:

Something is stirring
In the graveyard of archives;
A resurrection.

"a resurrection"
huhuh, you said erection.
uh huh huh huh huh

Shut your mouth, Beavis!
Or maybe it was Butt-Head?
I can never tell.

Please don't notice me.
I'm just doing my job here.
You should do yours too.

Way to kill the thread.
Sundae Girl tried the comeback,
but once again...failed.