Carp with an attitude

The following, from the Colorado Springs Independent , is my gift for you all to contemplate this Memorial Day Weekend (especially if you plan to get a little fishing in):

"Reports are increasing in the southeastern and midwestern United States of silver carp jumping out of rivers and smacking boaters on the head or hitting boat throttles, causing bursts of speed. Several state workers in Missouri have filed compensation claims after being slugged by these carp, which can weigh as much as a hundred pounds. "They jump crazy in the air when they see a boat coming," said Duane Chapman, a U.S. Geological Survey fisheries biologist from Columbia, Mo., who added that a carp hit him in the mouth while he was standing in his boat."

Questions:

1) Should the state of Missouri put more funding into schools of fish in order to instill them with a proper respect for mankind?

2) What the heck is the U.S. GEOLOGICAL survey doing hiring fisheries biologists? What do these biologists normally do besides insult carp? Study fossil fishes and instill our youth with evolutionary science propaganda?

3) Just what could this man have said to the carp that the fish felt he had to hit him in the mouth over the insult? Shouldn't our civil service employees be more civil and why should they sue the government if they're not?

I humbly await your enlightenment on these things...

sounds fishey to me !!!!!

The USGS does more than just make maps.

When I was doing my Bachelor's in Geography and Planning I got to do the "behind the scenes" tour of the USGS HQ in Reston, Virginia.

Was a lot of fun. They were just getting started on computer mapping in those days ... they were hand digitizing everything. No scanners, most output was to paper plotters.

I've actually seen video of the jumping carp phenomenon, and it is no laughing matter. These 10-15# fish get about six feet of air under them, and they come flying right up out of the water and clobber people. One guy sustained a fairly serious head injury over this. If you are going down the river at 10 mph and the fish jumps straight into your face, it is like getting hit with a big squishy rock at about 15 mph. Ouch.

They're some sort of non-native Asian carp species, and apparently they become agitated by the noise of boat motors.

Damned foreigners! ;)

if someone charged towards me in a powerboat while I was having a swim I'd jump up and slap them around a bit too.

Damned foreigners!:D

1) Should the state of Missouri put more funding into schools of fish in order to instill them with a proper respect for mankind?

Damn teachers have failed again.:p

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
Damn teachers have failed again.:p

Once again we are putting onto the state what should be the responsibility of the parents. Schools of fish in Missouri have not failed, it is the big fish in the small ponds who have failed their young.

As posted here, Asian carp are taking over Mississippi River and connected waterways, and we in Canada are trying to keep them out of the Great Lakes. Losing battle.

Better start eating carp.
I can't come in to work today boss, I was hit by a fish....

They grow fast and huge

Jesus H. Christ in a carp basket! That video was nuts! Thanks sparkler. I'm gonna send that to my friends.

There is a developing market for those carp (Asian stores here and as an export). Maybe McDonalds can come up with a McCarp sandwich, or maybe some McCarpnuts.:neutral:

it is like getting hit with a big squishy rock at about 15 mph.

Actually, it's probably like getting hit by a big, squishy Asian Carp.:blush:

Recipe for carp:

one wooden shingle
one carp filleted
1/2 fresh lemon
1/2 cup diced tomato
1 tsp cilantro
1 tsp soy sauce
1 tsp terrikai
pinch pepper

Lay the carp fillets on the shingle, squeeze half lemon over it. Ladle the other mixed ingredients over it. Wrap with aluminum foil. Gently lay on campfire (or oven if you must) for 25 minutes. Unwrap foil, throw away carp and eat shingle. Everyone knows that carp is damn near inedible.

MsSparkie wrote:

As posted here, Asian carp are taking over Mississippi River and connected waterways, and we in Canada are trying to keep them out of the Great Lakes. Losing battle.

Better start eating carp.
I can't come in to work today boss, I was hit by a fish....

They grow fast and huge

What language was he speaking? Was that cajun or creole, or whatever they speak down there by New Orleans with the French influence? Was that even in the US?

It says on that link further down the page that it is in Brazil. But I just saw a documentary on it in the USA and the Fish and Game dept. and the carp were doing the exact same thing in the daylight. I know a girl who was sailing off the coast of China with her hubby and they were pounded with fish. It's the motor noise that scares them they think.

The second link on the page addresses carp in the USA.

It's like the old slap stick movies huh? LOL

This video is Silver Carp on the upper Mississippi doing the jump. [SIZE="1"]Damn dirty Carp[/SIZE]:eyebrow:

Kewl.

Snopes says the first clip wasn't carp, but matrinxã (Brycon cephalus), a Brazilian fresh water species. So, I guess there are other species that jump too.

That opens a whole new world, to trap and skeet shooters. :shotgun:

I'm going to invent a front 'bumper' for boats made out of fishnet.

Remember I thought of it first. Stocks will be available after the first quarter......(mixes a drink and heads out to the workshop).....

capnhowdy wrote:

I'm going to invent a front 'bumper' for boats made out of fishnet.

Remember I thought of it first. Stocks will be available after the first quarter......(mixes a drink and heads out to the workshop).....

I am so in on the ground floor of this one. We need MsSparkie to publish a cookbook as well, maybe get a tv chef or two on the payroll...

capnhowdy wrote:

I'm going to invent a front 'bumper' for boats made out of fishnet.

Remember I thought of it first. Stocks will be available after the first quarter......(mixes a drink and heads out to the workshop).....

Trouble is, while you are sitting back relaxing in the boat, watching the net fill up, you will also be hit in the back of the head by fish, slapped across the face, etc.

From the link I posted:

"The true reason why silver carp jump or leap out of the water has not been proven yet, but it is believed that when boat motors are above a certain RPM, the noise, vibration and bubbles cause the silver carp to jump out of the water to escape. Boaters, jet skiers and fishery biologists have all been hit by silver carp in the lower Mississippi River. There's documentation of people sustaining concussions, broken vertebrae, legs and arms from these "flying" fish."

So I suggest you might want to wear a suit of armour, or build a little cabin to sit in of plexiglass. Or carry a spear.

In any event, we are all going to get stinkin' rich from this.

Carpe diem = eat a carp daily

Too many bones in carp though, so maybe we will have to mush it up and can it, bones and all. Make cat food too.

Hire people to debone them and we have carpburgers, carpsteak, carppizza, carpcandy, carpstew, carpsoup, carpomlettes, carppie, carpcake, carppopcorn, etc etc.

We can make fuel from the scales heads and tails and innards.

Of course, carpcaviar.

I think you guys are onto a good thing!!!!!!!!!

I'm in.

All this carping over Gefilte fish? :haha:

Book & movie idea: The World according to carp.

the first clip wasn't carp, but matrinxã (Brycon cephalus), a Brazilian fresh water species. So, I guess there are other species that jump too.

That makes sense because that guy was indeed speaking Portuguese.

You're not the only ones dealing with illegal aliens in your waterways:
Full article on Crayfish

The alien in question is Pacifastacus leniusculus, aka the 'American Red' signal crayfish.

'They're a vicious invader. They can grow up to 12 inches in length, live out of water for months and can climb up almost anything. They burrow into the banks and make them unstable; we lost a metre of land in just one year. We pulled out over 23,000 signals over a three-month period along that 100-yard stretch,' he added, pointing with a hand scarred by encounters with their pincers.

Larger and more aggressive than the native white-clawed crayfish, the signal lays more eggs and can reproduce in a shorter cycle, allowing it to establish itself as the apex predator in many of the UK's rivers in less than 30 years.

Ok, they don't jump up and hit people

The Environment Agency got more than one report last year from parents whose children, paddling in the Thames, had their feet nipped by a red signal.

But they aren't confined to rivers either

Abby Stancliffe-Vaughan and her colleagues at the Brecks Conservation Project have already had a number of calls from the public who have found the American Red near their homes, most of which are not near rivers or have no pond in the garden.

'They're on the increase. They can live for months out of water and I can see a time when people will be beating them away from their back door with a stick,' she said. 'If nothing is done, they may become as common as rats in some areas.'

The American Red is now believed to inhabit more than 80 per cent of rivers in mainland UK and will wipe out the native species if not stopped. The problem is so serious a conference of 120 European Union scientists has discussed how best to counteract the threat.

We'll get them the old fashioned way though...

One method that has been tried is the pheromone or sex trap. Male crayfish are lured into a cage baited with the female pheromone, a scent secreted when ready to mate. The male is fished out and put in the freezer, the quickest, most humane way of dispatch.

... with sex!

We could make vitamins out of them, something you take once per day. Call it "Carp-a-Diem".

PM me and I'll let you know where to send my check.

"The alien in question is Pacifastacus leniusculus, aka the 'American Red' signal crayfish.'


Garlic butter......mmmmmm

Or jambalaya soup

Gordon Ramsey (UK chef) is advocating removing the problem by eating them, and served a crayfish salad on his show last week. Looked gorgeous!

http://www.channel4.com/life/microsites/F/fword/crayfishsalad.html

I've never heard of groundnut oil. But I do wish I had some of the crayfish for dinner tonight.

BTW, did you know that on the east coast 50-75 years ago or thereabouts, it was "shameful" to eat lobster!!!??? It was considered a scavenger of the sea, and an "insect" crawling on the bottom and having six legs.

They were so ashamed of being poor and 'reduced' to eating lobster that they would hide the shells in the garbage so no one would know!!!

And today........it's worshipped as a meal. If you want to, you can think of shellfish as bugs, but I don't want to!