Two lies and the truth
very simple. Put up two lies and something true. About you, preferrably. The only rules are that two statements must be false, and one true.
check it out:
I have a vast collection of designer boxer shorts.
I have a 34 different pairs of sneakers.
I listen to the sound track from Saturday Night Fever in my car.
lie = boxer short?
I get most of my news from Foxnews and Fark
I can read Greek, Hebrew, and some Aramaic
I make it a point to buy anything being sold by neighborhood children door-to-door.
I guess the sneakers is the true one. Because... I can't say why, just because.
I was trained as an adolescent to speak in over a dozen accents.
I almost drowned when I was 12.
I drive a Honda Element.
smoothmoniker, I guess that #2 is the true statement.
sm: 3 is true
cf: 2 is true
I have 13 piercings
I had a horse named Cheval as a girl
I like brussel sprouts
I am the love child of G.W. Bush and Hillary Rodham.
I have Ann Coulters number on my speed dial, mainly for phone sex.
I was once bitten by a monkey.
One of my dogs is featured in a TV commercial that will go nationwide this summer
I single-handedly prevented a bad state bill from becoming law by getting the governor to veto it
I have over $20,000 in credit card debt
At 14, I passed out in the middle of the street in broad daylight because I was so drunk.
I lost my virginity when I was 14 yrs old.
When I was 14, I weighed 235 lbs.
[size=1]boxers[/size]
ok, i played the game wrong. I told two truths and a lie (foxnews). I'll try to pay closer attention to the instructions from now on.
I was the marching band drum major in high school.
I was the captain of the chess team.
I once accepted $37 from friends and onlookers to drink a milk-based "leftovers" shake.
(you can never do anything important in life if you were popular in high school)
-sm
I have 3 cats living with me at the present time.
One of the cats weighs 14 pounds.
I had a cat who did use the toilet.
I have had several books published
I have never voted
I furnished my entire house for less than £2k
Hmm....I reckon you had a cat that used the toilet...
Right. But he only used it once in desperation. He was an indoor-outdoor cat who never used kitty litter, and we had had a 2 foot snowfall that drifted in front of the doors so that he couldn't go out, and if he could, the ground was frozen. We prepared a box with torn newspaper for him which he sniffed at, rejected and then jumped up on the toliet and proceeded to pee into it. He never used it again.
DanaC - I reckon no 3 is true.
I was born on 4 July.
I have never eaten meat.
I have met HM the Queen.
(My true one is B - nobody cares to guess so not sure how this thing works)
UT, I am glad that you don't have $20,000 in credit card debt...
Originally posted by Undertoad
(My true one is B - nobody cares to guess so not sure how this thing works)
BOY, i thought yours were too obvoius to guess. I figured 20K in cc debt was true. i've seen people with over 100K in plastic, so , with you being self employed 20K seemed entirely believeable.
so, let's hear about the law.......and the governor you spoke to.
i had no idea you were so influential.......
and, having learned my lesson about obvious guesses....RichLevy, how the hell did you let a monkey bite you?
It would have increased the signature requirements for third-party and independent candidates to get on the ballot in my state, to a level they couldn't possibly reach. The legislators snuck it in at 1:30 am after a long night session on another topic. I found out about it and started a quickie campaign to change it. I had previously lobbied the League of Women Voters on that very topic (a few months earlier) so they spoke out against it, and pretty soon all the major newspapers wrote editorials against it. The gov had to veto it, even though he hadn't vetoed anything else all year.
I've been convicted of beating up a cop
I like to listen to music
I have skated a marathon in less than an hour and a half.
I've moved countries more than 5 times.
I can't drive a car.
I have AIDs
I lived in Chicago for a year.
My first car was a 1980 Chevrolet Monte Carlo.
I've been engaged three times.
--
Jag's true statement is the first one. Matt's true statement is the third one.
1) i have anal sex at least once a week.
2) i spent almost $500 on a lamp that simulates natural sunlight to ease seasonal depression.
3) i ordered proactive from an infomercial to fix my pms blemishes.
Hmmm.
I have decided to leave Pennsylvania and move back to my native North Carolina.
I have been accepted to present a history paper at a conference for IT professionals.
One of my photographs of Saturn will be included in Sky & Telescope magazine's "reader photographs" section later this year.
stacey- the lamp.....i think you might have mentioned that.....or was it the face cream?
hmmmmm......
My true statement was the speaking in accents. I did a lot of voiceacting and theatre.
I'm thinking that Syco's truth is that he's been engaged three times. A dashing chap such as he probably has to fight the ladies off with an aluminum bat.
Here's mine:
A. I appeared briefly in a popular 1980's movie.
B. Several years ago I worked with engineers at NASA's jet propulsion labs.
C. When I was a child, I almost died after being run over by a car.
UT - I definitely had #3 as the true statement - cool story.
Stacey - the lamp with #1 being a close 2nd. :-)
Jag - #1 is true unless you mean that you actually moved the country :-)
1. I know someone in the witness protection program.
2. I can swim 50 yards underwater.
3. My favorite TV show is Iron Chef.
Originally posted by hot_pastrami
B. Several years ago I worked with engineers at NASA's jet propulsion labs.
so this is where you got that neatto jumpsuit!
Originally posted by lumberjim
so this is where you got that neatto jumpsuit!
No dice. Guess again, sucka!
SteveD = #2 (i would say #1, but that's too obvious)
hot_p = #1 (does porn count?)
Beestie = #1 (because I know someone in the witness protection program :gray: )
[list=1]
[*]I smoked weed with Willie Nelson.
[*]I drank with Charlton Heston.
[*]My explosive diarrhea was a featured case study in the Canadian Journal of Gastroenterology
[/list=1]
Originally posted by mrnoodle
hot_p = #1 (does porn count?)
You got it. Not porn though. I was an extra in Footloose, and had about 10 glorious non-speaking seconds on-sceen. John Lithgow was there, though he didn't comment on my acting abilities. I think he was jealous.
Regarding yours, I'd have to guess that you drank with Heston.
Originally posted by mrnoodle
SteveD = #2 (i would say #1, but that's too obvious)
Why do you feel that being obvious makes it not true?
Originally posted by hot_pastrami
No dice. Guess again, sucka!
You're actually so geeky at heart that you went to space camp?
Or they have really cool thrift stores in Houston, where these are plentiful and cheap?
Or you've got broadband, a fast mouse trigger finger, and premium positioning on ebay?
Originally posted by hot_pastrami
You got it. Not porn though. I was an extra in Footloose, and had about 10 glorious non-speaking seconds on-sceen. John Lithgow was there, though he didn't comment on my acting abilities. I think he was jealous.
Regarding yours, I'd have to guess that you drank with Heston.
wow. now i gotta go rent that again.......what were you like 7 yrs old? what scene?
Originally posted by hot_pastrami
You got it. Not porn though. I was an extra in Footloose, and had about 10 glorious non-speaking seconds on-sceen. John Lithgow was there, though he didn't comment on my acting abilities. I think he was jealous.
Regarding yours, I'd have to guess that you drank with Heston.
So, where's our vid cap of you, HP? Can you autograph it?
Originally posted by lumberjim
wow. now i gotta go rent that again.......what were you like 7 yrs old? what scene?
Yeah, I was pretty young. It was a scene where John Lithgow is in a church talking to Dianne Wiest, and somebody (I think it's Dianne Weist herself) picks me up and carries me into the other room. I can't say where the scene is sequentially... I've never managed to watch the movie from beginning to end. Heheh. I think it's near the middle of the movie.
Originally posted by Elspode
So, where's our vid cap of you, HP? Can you autograph it?
If I bump into someone with the DVD, I'll put it in my computer and grab a screen capture, and post it. As far as autographs go, I'll do
anything for a fan. Except what Lumberjim is thinking. Ew.
Bah, I made that too easy.
I've lost $3000 worth of sunglasses in 2 years.
I've been imprisioned in Vietnam
My watch is worth over $10000
Originally posted by mrnoodle
Beestie = #1 (because I know someone in the witness protection program :gray: )
[list=1]
[*]I smoked weed with Willie Nelson.
[*]I drank with Charlton Heston.
[*]My explosive diarrhea was a featured case study in the Canadian Journal of Gastroenterology
[/list=1]
Actually, its #2 - 50 yards underwater. I did have access to one of the program's secret locations, tho.
For you, I'll guess #3. Sorry :-) Although I guess #1 might also be right in a way since, whenever anyone smokes weed, Willie is also smoking it so its kinda like smoking it with him in a cosmic sort of way :)
Originally posted by hot_pastrami
I'm thinking that Syco's truth is that he's been engaged three times. A dashing chap such as he probably has to fight the ladies off with an aluminum bat.
Correct on both counts. :)
Clod, hp, pretty damn cool!
Jag I'll guess #2, either for overstaying a visa, or unintentional solicitation of prostition.
Russ...I am guessin you like listening to music:)....but that might be a red herring....You didnt actually beat up a cop did you?
My truby was furnishin' m'little cottage on less than £2000 ...top to bottom and starting from scratch right down to the TV the cutlery and the lamps;)God bless IKEA!
HmmmJaguar....the lover of stories in me really wants it to be 2 but I am goin to guess at the first ....Sunglasses go missin all the time...
Originally posted by Katkeeper
UT, I am glad that you don't have $20,000 in credit card debt...
Although I was hoping that one of his dogs was gonna be a star!!! (they are soooooooooooo cute!) :D
Sat with Chuckles Heston and consumed a few glasses of wine at a reception a few years ago. Spent the whole time wanting to ask him to say "get your hands off me, you dirty damn ape". He was very old man-ish. Stoop shouldered, doddering, slightly medicated air about him.
"Drinking with Charlton Heston" sounded cooler though.
Jag - I'll say #3
i once raced a supercross event in the astrodome
i've flown right seat (co-pilot) in a beechcraft king air
i beat the shit out of a dude who smashed into me by running a red light
Hmmm.....Catwoman....did you meet Her Maj?
plthijinx....you were the copilot?
nope, i only sat up in the cockpit between the pilot/co-pilot. it was back when i first started to fly. only had 9 whole hours at the time.....
1 :D
It's a bad habit, expensive taste, bad memory.
i had sex in the laundry room of a navy frigatte.
i had sex in my mom's bed when i was a teenager.
i had sex with my mom's boyfriend when i was 17.
oh please let it be 3
i'll guess 2 though cuz it's obvious
Originally posted by lumberjim
oh please let it be 3
i'll guess 2 though cuz it's obvious
You're a perv.
But as long as we're discussing it, why not 2 & 3 together? Oh, wait, that would be 2 truths.
Originally posted by staceyv
i had sex in the laundry room of a navy frigatte.
i had sex in my mom's bed when i was a teenager.
i had sex with my mom's boyfriend when i was 17.
I'll guess 2 AND 3 :)
OK...
1. I drove a stock car at Darlington at over 145 miles per hour.
2. I scuba dove inside a school bus in 38° water.
3. Ted Nugent has been at my house.
Wait a minute wait a minute! HP said
I was an extra in Footloose
That means that each and every one of us is one degree away from Kevin Bacon!!!!!
(In SOME way, anyway)
stacyv, I'm sensing a theme here ...
-sm
It got me wondering...how many cellarites are famous or one-offs from famousnessess? I bet at least some of us are "names" in their respective worlds...
If any of those people would like to give me a job, or just some money, please PM me. :D
I have a signed copy of the Crucible if that counts......and my Ex's dad is a genuine bonafide left wing playwright....who whilst not widely known has had his plays translated into many languages and performed in many countries.
Oh ...and my mum once shook the hand of Princess Diana when she was visiting the hosipital mum worked at......she said it was surprisingly limp
Oh ...and my mum once shook the hand of Princess Diana when she was visiting the hosipital mum worked at......she said it was surprisingly limp
I shook Jimmy Carter's hand on a Habitat for Humanity jobsite once. His hand was surprisingly
not limp.
i had this conversation with a buddy of mine just last week. I think I can trace myself to 90% of the music industry with two steps - me to someone, someone to them. We went for two hours and didn't come up with anyone that didn't work (should specify, american pop music industry).
-sm
SM:
Just picking names at random, are you two steps away from:
Britney Spears?
Warren Zevon? (may he rest in peace)
John Williams?
Originally posted by staceyv
i had sex in the laundry room of a navy frigatte.
i had sex in my mom's bed when i was a teenager.
i had sex with my mom's boyfriend when i was 17.
Well, since you can't spell frigate, I guess its NOT number 1.
For your sake, I'm hoping it's #2.
sm,
can you get me some dave matthews tickets?
for free? :)
Originally posted by lumberjim
sm,
can you get me some dave matthews tickets?
for free? :)
No, but I can get you a Dave Matthew's CD
for 16.99
-sm
Originally posted by glatt
Britney Spears?
Rich Channer, her tour manager for the Onyx hotel, was the production manager for Bobby Caldwell on several of our trips to Japan.
Warren Zevon? (may he rest in peace)
OK, give me a little bit of slack, because this takes more that two steps and is a little convoluted - it probably doesn't even count. Zevon frequently recorded at Cherokee studios here in LA (now closed, RIP), and did so at the same time as Jane's Addiction, who were produced by a guy named Dave Jerden. I just finished working with Dave on his new artist, Consuelo Costin. I had to google that one.
John Williams?
I'll assume you mean the film composer and not the classical guitarist. I work frequently with a friend named Joe DiBlasi, who is a slamming guitarist. He played the guitar sessions for Raiders of the Lost Ark, along with almost every other movie in the 80's and early 90's.
-sm
edit: I [tags] for suck
Damn, I thought I might stump you on John Williams, but no dice.
I'm impressed.
I'll assume you mean the film composer and not the classical guitarist
They are not the same guy? all these years I thought they were the same guy....I had of the guitarist's albums .damn
I've got one of the guitarists CDs and also a few of the other's soundtracks.
Both are pretty damn talented.
My lover one time brought a friend to my place and we ended up with a threesome within a minute.
I woke up on New Year's Day next to the most gorgeous naked bodies I ever saw in my life.
I once slept with three siblings with a one-month period. TThat was fun.)
i would have to say two or three Nerollss,
the naked bodies could have a been a porno poster on a wall near where you woke up.. and your siblings.. well you didnt say you had sex with them,, you just slept right?
ok:
1) i have held one of the worlds most venemous spiders in my mouth
2) i have sky dived naked
3) i have drunken the blood of a snake
You're from Australia. Don't you guys do ALL three of those on a regular basis?
HA-HA-HA :D
yeah but im not THAT adventurous.. ive only done one of them so far!
c'mon get on with the game ;)
blood of a snake or the spider was cooked.
I once spent a night sleeping on the floor in the NY Museum of Natural History.
I once played a game of Monopoly using real American currency instead of play money.
For one night I got to choose the color of the giant lights that illuminate the top of the Empire State Building.
Slart, i'm guessing #2.
ok:
i was shot (peppered) in the neck while quail hunting
i've caught a 7 foot tiger shark
ran naked through the streets of amsterdam
Originally posted by jaguar
blood of a snake or the spider was cooked.
I have held in my mouth for about 3 or 4 minutes a large Male Sydney Funnell Web Spider. and it was most certainly alive and wriggling!
why it did not bite me i dont know.. but i am very lucky that it didnt.
i would have to guess that you have been shot in the neck. it seems only natural for me to assume that with you Americans :)
i saw my cousin get shot in the ass about two years ago by his brother (my older cousin) with an air rifle after he had just been the biggest smartass all day. It was hilarious!
Originally posted by Sun_Sparkz
I have held in my mouth for about 3 or 4 minutes a large Male Sydney Funnell Web Spider. and it was most certainly alive and wriggling!
why it did not bite me i dont know.. but i am very lucky that it didnt.
I'm more interested in why or how you came to do this!
Originally posted by Sun_Sparkz
I have held in my mouth for about 3 or 4 minutes a large Male Sydney Funnell Web Spider. and it was most certainly alive and wriggling!
why it did not bite me i dont know.. but i am very lucky that it didnt.
WHY??!?!
a suicide attempt?
you were on the aussie version of fear factor?
a bet?
you heard you could get high?
you're just plain crazy?
had to of been a aussie version of fear factor!
yeah, i was shot in the neck.
Originally posted by lumberjim
[b]WHY??!?!
a suicide attempt?
you were on the aussie version of fear factor?
a bet?
you heard you could get high?
you're just plain crazy? [/B]
None of the above :)
It was a few years ago and i hadnt realised it was a male one (only the male are deadly). I was fighting with my father and was in a very bad bood to begin with and just was waiting for an opportunity to do something naughty.
i really dont like it when he kills the spiders in our house i much prefer he put them outside (unless of course they have the ability to paralyze then kill you in a matter of seconds)
Well i walked past just as he was about to squash him, and begged him to put it outside instead. he refused and so just as he went to whack it, i grabbed it and stuck it in my mouth before he could explain what it was.
i walked outside and let it fall from my mouth onto the path in the garden (kind of spat it out but it kept hanging onto the side of my lips with its legs). dad was in hysterics and was sure it had bitten me. he captured it in a jar and rushed me to the medical centre. but it hadnt bitten me, and i was fine. the spider was identified as the male sydney funnell web and the doctor kept the spider.
lucky!!
:) :)
ran naked through the streets of amsterdam
Well shit, I thought everybody did that at some time in their life
Originally posted by DanaC
Well shit, I thought everybody did that at some time in their life
wellllllll almost!:rolleyes: a little busy doing other things:drunk: :joint: :doit: :doit:
Originally posted by plthijinx
Slart, i'm guessing #2.
actually, it was #1. I used to be on the inflation crew that would inflate (not blow up) the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade balloons. This used to be done the night before Thanksgiving on two closed off streets by the museum. The weather is almost always freezing, so they have heated busses, but they also open a floor of the museum so people can go in and warm up and sleep.
A friend of mine has a better story than mine. One year it was not too cold, so he slept under a three story Snoopy balloon in the middle of 77th street.
Originally posted by plthijinx
Slart, i'm guessing #2.
actually, it was #1. I used to be on the inflation crew that would inflate (not blow up) the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade balloons. This used to be done the night before Thanksgiving on two closed off streets by the museum. The weather is almost always freezing, so they have heated busses, but they also open a floor of the museum so people can go in and warm up and sleep.
A friend of mine has a better story than mine. One year it was not too cold, so he slept under a three story Snoopy balloon smack in the middle of 77th street.
Well i walked past just as he was about to squash him, and begged him to put it outside instead. he refused and so just as he went to whack it, i grabbed it and stuck it in my mouth before he could explain what it was.
Holy. Shit.
I have a great newfound respect for you, SunSparkz. How old were you?
Old enough to know better :)
it was around 1997.